


Mad World

by wordsandpixels



Category: Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, Squee (Comics), VASQUEZ Jhonen - Works
Genre: But Minimoose is in it!, Crossover, Gen, Horror, Humor, Mystery, No shipping, That's cool right?, Who doesn't like Minimoose?, ZADF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-12-25 07:57:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 79,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsandpixels/pseuds/wordsandpixels
Summary: Group projects are the worst- especially when you're partnered with your alien nemesis. But when Dib uncovers disturbing ties between his reoccurring nightmares and the homicidal maniac they are researching, he is thrown into the most dangerous battle of his life. Will he ignore Zim's cryptic warnings and instead follow the guidance of Nny, a new ally with a hidden agenda? Or is he in too far over his head? And who is that kid in his nightmares...? (Complete!)





	1. Dreamtime

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! I'm loving AO3 so far. Very clean interface with a lot of fancy new features!
> 
> Anyhow, this story has already been posting on FF.net while I was waiting for an invitation so I have some catching up to do. I'll be posting a chapter every day this weekend and then I'll resume regular updates- Dreamtime chapters on Fridays, full chapters on Mondays. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own a mug that has a little ceramic kitten perched on the handle. Isn't that neat?

_I stood in a concrete room with no windows, waiting for a show that would never begin. A bare bulb hung from the ceiling, swaying back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, like an empty swing._

_Between glimpses of light, I saw The Wall._

_It rose from the splintered floorboards to the cracked ceiling, looming above me like a forgotten monument. Brownish-red spirals and strokes covered the concrete and it took all of my willpower not to dig through the crusted layers with my fingernails to see what was behind them. I was afraid. I was afraid that there was nothing behind The Wall but a starless void and I would fall inside the way some people died- slipping away, without a sound._

_My footsteps didn't make any noise as I approached The Wall. I reached out to touch it, my breath caught in my throat, my hand shaking..._

_"Run!" cried a voice._

_There was a little boy behind me. He was dressed in striped pajamas, with black hair smeared all over his head. He hugged a stuffed bear that was covered in stitches, it's white eyes wide with anticipation._

_"It's going to get you!" The boy said._

_The room began to shake and I spun around. A single crack streaked down The Wall as something pushed through the concrete like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. I caught a glimpse of the creature, just for a second._

_And everything went dark._

**XXX**

I didn't scream when I woke up.

I just watched the fan above me, spinning in lazy circles, as I tried to calm my racing heart.  _Get a grip, Dib!_  I scolded myself.  _It_ 's  _that weird nightmare again..._

The nightmares had started several months ago. They came once a month at first, then twice a week and now they haunted me every night- sometimes several times a day, if I made the mistake of letting my eyes droop shut during class. No matter when they happened, they always followed the same script- I stood before a large wall, a little boy would shout a warning and The Wall would crack. A creature would emerge but it looked different every time- a monster with matted black fur and white, shining teeth. A skeleton with decaying organs dripping from it's chest, like wax melting off a burning candle. A man with no face, the skin over his mouth stretching with each muffled scream…

Once I could breathe again, I kicked off the tangled blankets and hopped out of bed. A chill ran up my feet as I ran across the wooden floor and jumped into the chair at my desk. The notebook was already open to a fresh page.

I don't know how long I drew for but I tried to capture every painful detail -every glinting fang, every staring eye- and I drew until light peeked through the curtains. Then I leaned back in the chair and surveyed my work.

"What are you?" I asked the picture, just barely suppressing a yawn. "What are you trying to tell me?"

No response.

So I tacked the drawing up on the wall behind my bed, next to the others. They nearly covered the room now, like a wallpaper designed by Lovecraft.

I stretched my stiff arms and decided it was time for breakfast. As I descended the stairs, I thought about the long day of skool that loomed ahead of me. How long I could keep up these sleep-deprived days?

… and what happened when I couldn't stay awake anymore?


	2. An Inconvenient Project

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first full chapter! There are characters and plot and dialogue in this one! Exciting stuff, people. Exciting stuff. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I also do not own an essential oil diffuser from Scentsy. Why are they so expensive? (And why do I still want it anyway?!)

**agent_mothman** : gaz! i had the craziest dream last night!  
 **v0x3lr0t:** Stop messaging me about stupid things, Dib. Are you going to be home for dinner?  
 **agent_mothman:** no i don't think so. i need to go the library! i mean, this dream was CRAZY! it felt so real!  
 **v0x3lr0t:** Dad is coming home tonight. You can go to the stupid library tomorrow.  
 **agent_mothman:** sorry gaz! not tonight! gotta do some research! there's something different about this dream. maybe it's a premonition! do you think i might be psychic?  
 **v0x3lr0t:** You're not psychic. You're just dumb.  
 **agent_mothman:** well I'm going to get to the bottom of this!  
 **v0x3lr0t:** Are you coming home or what?  
 **v0x3lr0t:** …Dib?  
 **v0x3lr0t:** DIB!  
 **v0x3lr0t:** … I really hate you.

**XXX**

There are rumors that in other classrooms, in other "skools" where the word is actually spelt correctly, children whisper to each other during class.

But those children didn't have Miss Bitters as a teacher.

Nobody knows where she came from or how she became a teacher in the first place. I have a few theories myself, but the only thing I know is that she didn't get the job because she loved children. Her heart was as withered as her skin. No, it was impossible that she came here- so they must have just built the skool around her. This was her classroom and had always  _been_  her classroom.

We were just here for her amusement.

One afternoon, I forgot that. Do you see that kid sitting at the end of the first the row? You know, the kid sketching in his notebook, completely oblivious to the dark figure gliding down the aisle like a shark that had just caught a whiff of blood?

That kid was me.

"Dib!" A voice hissed behind me. Miss Bitters stood over me with a snarl. "Creative expression in educational institutions was banned  _years_ ago. Do you want to be thrown into the punishment pit again?"

"Not really." I admitted.

"Then give me the picture. I will burn it as an appeasement to the skool board."

Reluctantly- since it really was kind of good- I gave it to her. She gazed at it and, just for a second, an expression crossed her face.

"See me after class." she said and, just as quietly as she had spoken, set the drawing back down on my desk. It happened so fast that I could only stare at the picture in stunned silence.

Miss Bitters returned to her perch at the front of the classroom and peered at us, like a vulture examining its prey for any smallest sign of dehydration.

"Now," she creaked, "I have an important announcement."

The other kids straightened up at this, their parched brains eager for a drop of something interesting.

"As you know, our classroom has been infested with a rare breed of man-eating termites. Though I advocated for classes to continue, the skool is going to be shut down for a week while extermination takes place."

A round of cheers erupted through the classroom. This only aggravated Miss Bitters.

"SILENCE!" she shrieked. And of course, there was. "To ensure that you do not enjoy this vacation, I have decided to assign a large, inconvenient project. As well you know, you are all extremely ignorant of anything that doesn't directly affect your lives. In an effort to make you just slightly aware that there is a world around you, you will prepare a report on a local news story. You will gather articles on your assigned topic, conduct interviews and type up a report. If it's semi-coherent, you won't have to repeat the sixth grade."

Zita raised her hand. "We're in  _eighth_  grade!"

"To increase the inconvenience," Miss Bitters continued, undeterred. "I have also decided to make this a group project. Select your partner immediately."

My heart sunk into my stomach. Almost as soon as I turned around, groups already had their desks pushed together like they had been like that the whole time. Only two desks were still single.

Mine.

And the empty one at the end of the row.

"Zim is absent," Miss Bitters continued, "so Dib will be his partner for the project."

"Do I  _have_ to be Zim's partner?!" I protested, "They're in a group of three!" Vaguely, I waved in the direction of three girls whose desks had fused together somehow.

Miss Bitters growled. "Dib will be Zim's partner."

"But-!"

"Dib. Zim.  _Partners_."

How could I argue with that? As I collapsed back into my seat, scattered chuckles and whispers rippled across the room. I glared at all of them and then glared extra hard at the desk at the end of the row, as if there was actually somebody there to glare at.

Miss Bitters hissed to regain the class's attention. "Does everyone understand?" A few kids nodded. "Good! Come up to my desk to receive your assignment and then go away."

As partners walked up to the desk hand-in-hand, chatting about how much they loved teamwork, I shoved my books back into my bag. The drawing, however, I carefully folded in half and slipped in between two books.

"Make sure you work together on the project!" Miss Bitters snarled after the group in front of me, as they were walking out. "I can smell teamwork!" Then, her rattlesnake gaze fixed on me. "You and Zim will be working on the story about the serial killer in the neighboring city of Mount Pleasant."

Of course, I knew the story. Just about everyone did. The serial killer who could kill people in broad daylight and walk away without getting caught was almost as viral as that picture of a kitten and a puppy sharing a sombrero. Well,  _almost_.

"Don't you think that's a little dark for kids?" I pointed out.

"It'll be good for you." Then she pointed at a wheelbarrow full of papers in the corner of the room. "That's Zim's homework. Make sure he gets it."

I grumbled a half-hearted "yes, Miss Bitters" and trudged over to the wheelbarrow. It creaked as I tugged on it and I told myself that if it broke, stupid Zim could come and deal with it.

As I began to push the rusted piece of junk out the door, Miss Bitters said: "And Dib?"

I turned around to find her gazing at me.

"Stop drawing it." she said, "If you give it form, you're giving it power."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. For one, surreal moment I wondered if I was asleep and that this was just a weird dream. But by the way chills ran up my arms, leaving little trails of goosebumps behind them, I knew this was real.

I fumbled for words. "Do… do you know what it is?"

"Of course." A long silence followed and her eyes narrowed at me. "Why haven't you left yet?!"

"Come on! Can't you give me any advice?!"

She paused for a long time and finally, she said. "Remember that this is a group project. You  _must_ work together."

She stressed  _must_  like it was the most important word in the universe, as if it deserved to be etched in stone and made into a family heirloom that would be passed down from generation to generation.

It took me a second to process this. "That's advice for the project! I was talking about-"

"I've already said far too much. Get out!"

"But-!"

"OUT!"

With anyone else, I might have refused but even I, a fearless paranormal investigator, knew better than to annoy Miss Bitters. So I gave the wheelbarrow a shove and forced it through the door. As the wheelbarrow and I screeched down the hallway, terrified thoughts whirled through my mind. What did she know? What was this  _thing_? Should I be scared of it?

And yet, only one thought really worried me.

_I have to see Zim again._

**XXX**

About two months ago, at the unceremonious time of three in the morning, the doorbell rang. It had awoken me from a nightmare and it took a few seconds after opening the door to register what I was seeing.

Zim stood on my porch, without his disguise.

The lack of his wig and contacts didn't surprise me. I had seen Zim like this- green skinned and red-eyed with antennae twitching like a mutant ant- so many times that it was unbelievable I  _still_  didn't have a clear picture to send into Mysterious Mysteries. No, the surprising thing was that he didn't push me aside to get in. He just stood there, his weird red eyes glowing in the darkness.

"Uh, hi?" I said, because what else could I really say?

At that moment, I noticed the rain. It wasn't more than a drizzle, but each drop left little tendrils of smoke where it meet his skin. Beyond a slight shiver, he didn't even react to it.

"Can I come in?" He asked. Not demanded or commanded, he just  _asked_. I wondered if this was just another strange dream.

"I guess." I let him walk past me and then shut the door behind him. "What do you want?"

The answer didn't come right away. He stood there in the hall, rubbing the cold from his arms as he regarded the picture hanging on the wall. It was an Easter photo taken when I was a kid. I was trying to pull the head of the mall's Easter Bunny, while Gaz had just punched him in the stomach. Dad posed for camera with a peace sign.

"Zim," I repeated. This time he turned around. " _What_  do you want? In case you haven't noticed, it's three o'clock in the-"

"I require the use of your telescope!"

I sighed. It was too early to argue with him. "Go ahead. You know how to use it."

When I began to walk away, he seized the sleeve of my shirt. "There... there is something I want you to see."

I groaned. The vivid nightmare was starting to escape me now and there were still details I needed to record. But there was something insistent in Zim's voice and I wondered if this was a fate-of-the-world situation. So I led him up the long winding stairs to the attic- or The Observatory, as Dad calls it- where the controls for the telescope stretched along the back wall.

Zim pressed a couple buttons like a master pianist trying a new piano and then, satisfied with whatever he had learned from that, began to work. He made a couple adjustments and took a quick look in the scope.

"This planet is horrible!" He snapped. The quiet patter of rain against the window had almost lulled me to sleep and I jolted awake. "Why do you let that  _condensation_  clog up the sky?!"

"Umm," it took me a moment to realize what he was talking about. "Do you mean the clouds? I'm not personally responsible for those y'know, they just kind of-"

"The sky is clear on Irk," The viciousness in his voice dropped away. "If you look up at night, you see can all of those worlds just begging to be conquered. When I was a smeet, I used to sneak up to the surface and look at all of the stars, trying to guess which one would be mine to destroy."

_I like to do that too_ , I almost told him. Not the destroying part, just the looking out the sky part. Something about space had always filled me with a sense of adventure. It was the feeling that somewhere far away from here, there were mysteries upon mysteries to be discovered.

But since I try not to agree with Zim more than I have to, I didn't mention that. "What are going to show me?"

He fiddled with the controls again and took one, long look in the telescope. Then, he beckoned to me and offered the lens. Curiosity piqued, I leaned forward to look.

I could see a red planet. At first, I thought it might be Mars until I saw that there wasn't a single cloud swirling around it.

"You are the first human to have the honor of seeing the Irken homeworld." Zim said, with the same reverent tone that most people saved for church. "Most Irkens have taken up residence on conquered planets, but the smeeting factories are still there. If you look closely-"

"Is  _that_  why you woke me up? To reminisce about your stupid planet? What's wrong with you, Zim?!"

He flinched like I had just slapped him. "I assumed since you call yourself a paraplegic-!"

"Paranormal investigator!"

"That's what I said, fool! I assumed since you are- err, whateverthatwordwas - that you would be  _slightly_  interested!"

He was right about that. I should have been asking him hundreds of questions, but all I could feel was… annoyance. My nightmare was fading fast and all I could think about was drawing it.

"I have more important things to do so just get to the point already!"

There was silence for a moment. He stared at me, with a wounded look that I had never seen before. You would have thought I had pulled out an Irken to English dictionary and called him every profane word his language had to offer.

"This was a mistake!" Returning to the console, he began furiously pressing buttons. I knew he was deleting the coordinates. "How could I be so stupid?!"

Then he stormed past me, running down the stairs like Cinderella when she realized the time. Baffled by his extreme reaction, I chased after him. He was already in the living room by the time I caught up.

"Hey!" I seized his arm at the doorway. "What's going on with you?!"

He tore it out of my grasp. "Don't touch me! How DARE you touch me!"

"Why are you freaking out?"

"SHUT  _UP_! GO AWAY!"

"It's my house..."

"I hate you!" He spat. Now that he was out on the porch, his skin sizzled in the rain like oil on a frying pan. "I can't believe that I almost-! Just... just leave me alone!"

Then he stormed off into the night.

" _You_  came  _here_!" I called after him.

But the darkness said nothing. So, shrugging off the weird incident, I went back up to my room and spent the rest of the night finishing my drawing. I figured when Zim came to skool the next day, I could get more information out of him.

But Zim didn't return to skool that day.

Or the next day.

Every morning at roll call, I kept my eye on the door- expecting him to show up. But days added up into weeks and he never came.

_What had he been trying to tell me?_ I wondered, every once in awhile. Like everyone else in the class, though, I soon forgot about him. The nightmares had gotten worse by this point and all of my spare energy- of which I had less and less of every day- had been focused on dream research. But on rare occasion, when I caught sight of his desk, an image flashed into my mind:

Zim, burning in the rain.

**XXX**

If it wasn't for the project, would I have ever seen Zim again? Maybe, maybe not- I never had the opportunity to find out. With a mission and a wheelbarrow full of homework, I found myself on the familiar trek to Zim's house once again.

You know which house it is.

That green and purple monstrosity with a field of lawn gnomes and a flag that says "yay Earth!"? You've seen it. I mean, how could you not? And, while you might have thought it was a bit odd, what you don't know if that there is a huge alien base underneath with large rooms that could fit telescopes, spaceships and any sort of diabolical experiments Zim happened to be working on at the time. I've done several runs of the labyrinth tunnels and yet the amount I've managed to map feels like barely a tenth of what actually lies beneath the surface.

I'll bet you never even noticed.

It felt weird, returning to the house after about two months of not seeing it. It felt even weirder to push a wheelbarrow full of papers up the narrow walkway to the front door, but that was because pushing a wheelbarrow full of papers around  _anywhere_ is a pretty weird experience. The lawn gnomes turned to follow me as I trudged up the path, wheelbarrow creaking. Their eyes flashed green to indicate that I was an intruder, yellow to give me a chance to say my prayers and red to incinerate me with lasers.

"I'm here to deliver Zim's homework." I explained, pausing to wipe the sweat off my forehead. "He's been absent from skool."

The gnomes turned away from me and their eyes mellowed into a wary green again. Then the front door opened and Zim's robot parents loomed over me. "Oh,  _look_." The robot mom cooed, getting way too close to my face. "Our son has a little visitor!"

She sparked and her entire body twitched. I tried not to look into her eyes, which were rolling in different directions, and focused on pushing the wheelbarrow up the front step instead.

The father gave a hearty chuckle. "Yes, I remember my first girlfriend. What great times we had together!"

They wheeled aside to let me in. Just after I made it through the door, the wheelbarrow collapsed in a heap. In front of me, a small silver robot sat on a purple couch, transfixed by the television. A tiny moose floated beside him.

"Angry Monkey Show?" I asked, stepping over the remains of the wheelbarrow.

GIR nodded. His shimmering blue eyes were glued to the snarling monkey. "This is my  _favorite_ one."

"You know it's just the same footage every time, right?" No response. It's not like I expected one or anything. "Is Zim home?"

Minimoose squeaked and floated away, which I took that as a sign to follow him. We passed the kitchen and came to stop at the inappropriately placed toilet in the corner of the room. With a sigh, I climbed into the toilet and Minimoose landed on my shoulder.

We descended into the base.

As glimpses from the elevator revealed rooms I had never seen before, I did feel a slight rush of excitement. Zim's house hadn't become so common-place that I had forgotten it was a  _real_  alien base- a very affirmation of the fact that aliens existed at all. I knew quite a bit about the Irken race from my investigation of Zim but there was still so much more to learn. They were much more technologically advanced than humans and I couldn't even  _imagine_  what sort of society they had. It's laughable how inferior we are to them, actually. In that way, Zim's enormous ego had some merit.

While I was thinking this, the elevator reached its destination and the doors opened.

Angry shrieks of frustration and smoke flooded in: "Stupid, horrible pile of stupid horribleness! DO NOT DEFY THE  _AMAZING_  ZIM!"

I rolled my eyes: technologically advanced or not, Zim was still an idiot.

As the smoke cleared, it took a second for me register what I was seeing. Zim was hunched over a curved table with a screwdriver, grumbling to himself, four metal prongs sticking out of his back. A metal arm hung from the ceiling above him and nestled in its metallic hand, like a fragile egg that could so very easily be crushed, was the source of Zim's entire existence.

His PAK.

At the sound of the doors opening, Zim spun around. "Dib-worm!" He slammed the screwdriver on the table. "How DARE you sneak into my base!"

" _Sneak_  isn't really the word I would use." But I had said it too slowly, too hesitantly. Zim followed my eyes to the PAK and returned my stare with a glare.

"We're done for today!" He snarled to the computer. The arm holding the PAK obediently returned it, skillfully snapping it back into place like a kid who was an expert at Legos. Then, without even a glance back at me, Zim began clearing off his workbench. "Why are you still here, human speck? Begone with you!"

I sighed in relief. Zim seemed to be back to his normal, screechy self. Perhaps whatever weird thing he was going through had passed and we could go back to our usual mutual hatred of each other. "So, we have a class project to do. We have to research-"

"This is no time for "PROJECTS"! Now get out of my base and leave  _Ziiiim_  to his work!"

"Was the third person really necessary?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Yes."

"Okay, well, I'm not leaving until I tell you about the project. We've been assigned that homicidal maniac story, so I figured we can go to Mount Pleasant tomorrow. They have a library, so we can go there to research-"

"No."

He had said it with such finality, like he had just staked a stop sign right in the middle of our conversation. I came to a stumbling halt.

"No?" I asked. "Did you say  _no_?"

"Have your auditory nubs stopped functioning, worm baby? The answer is no! I will do this "project", but I will not go  _there_."

"You mean Mount Pleasant?" I pressed, but he said nothing. "Why? I mean,  _yeah_ , there's a homicidal maniac but we're not going to be there long and whoever it is doesn't seem to target kids-"

"I-" He repeated. "Am. Not. Going."

This was my cue to argue with him, but I was surprised by how serious he looked. As soon as I had mentioned the town, he stiffened up and his antennae had flattened back, like a dog's ears when a stranger approached.

"Are…" I searched for the words. "Are… you scared?"

"Scared?!  _ZIM_?! Do not make me laugh, pig-beast!"

"Then why?"

He said nothing for a long while. But then he admitted, with great reluctance: "There is…  _something_ … there that should not be. Regarding this town, there are senses your inferior human mind simply does not possess. I, being a superior species, can detect a negative presence. It's like some sort of horrible stink. It's… overwhelming."

My heart beat against my chest. This looked like the beginning of a case. Since the nightmares and the drawings had been consuming most of my time, I hadn't been following the homicidal maniac story that closely. I mean, serial killers were cool but being a paranormal investigator, they weren't really my area of interest. But perhaps this story was more relevant to me than I thought?

"Is it paranormal?!" I asked, excitedly.

"I do not care what it is! I will have nothing to do with it! Now be gone before I, err,  _eat your giant head_!"

In retrospect, I should have listened to him. But at the time, how could I? A legitimate mystery stood before me and I had an actual  _alien_  agreeing that there was something supernatural, or at least strange, involved. And I was the first person to have a scoop on it!

It was petty, I'll admit. But you can't blame me, can you?

I crossed my arms. "First, we both know you're not going to do that. And second, if you don't do the project, you're going to fail. You haven't been to skool in a week and then  _failing_? You're not doing very well with your mission, Zim."

It happened again. That same look he had that night in The Observatory returned, but now I could see what it was.  _Pain_. Whatever I just said had hit some sort of weak spot. And so, I did what I always did when I found a weakness in Zim.

I mercilessly exploited it.

"Did you forget about your mission?" I asked, with strategic casualness. He watched me as I strolled over the worktable and began to examine each of every one of the instruments scattered across it. "It's been a couple months now and you haven't done anything to maintain your cover. You haven't even been to skool!"

Taking a screwdriver, I turned it over it my hand and then held it up to the light so the metal gleamed.

"If you start failing, they're going to start investigating." I continued, with a wicked grin. "They'll want to talk to your parents. Remember how you  _barely_  got through parent-teacher night? We both know that they won't survive an intensive investigation. The skool board will figure out they're robots and then it won't be long until they figure out what  _you_  are."

I advanced on him, screwdriver in hand like it was a knife.

"After that," I pointed it at his heart. "It's the autopsy table."

I poked him with it. He flinched, but didn't devolve into a screaming mess the way I hoped he would.

"You're  _lying!_ " He hissed, with an obvious lack of confidence.

"Maybe. You don't have to believe me. Actually, I hope you don't. I'd rather fail a project than get to miss out on watching you get sliced open on a table. It's your choice, really."

This was the part where he would snatch the screwdriver back, annoyed, and agree to work with me on the project. In fact, he would insist, he LOVED projects because he was  _not_ an alien but a totally normal human earth child. Then we would take turns insulting each other before he ordered his computer to toss me outside onto the lawn, where the gnomes would start blasting me with lasers as I made a mad dash for the sidewalk.

But none of that happened.

Instead he stood there, hesitating, staring at something over my shoulder. I followed his gaze and for the first time noticed that a diagram of his PAK was projected on a screen behind me. A flashing red spot in center of the PAK illuminated the uncertainty on his face. He seemed to have forgotten I was even there.

"Zim!" I slammed the screwdriver back on the table and his gaze snapped back to me. "Just make a decision already! I haven't slept in weeks, so I'm not exactly in the mood to argue with you."

His antenna pricked with curiosity. "You can't sleep?"

"Don't change the subject! Are you going to be my partner for the project or not?"

"Partner?"

I could have slapped my forehead. Were we even having the same conversation? Sometimes, it was amazing that Zim spoke fluent English because he didn't seem to understand anything that I- or anyone else for that matter- actually said to him.

"It's a  _group_ project." I reminded him. "You and I? We're a group. We  _have_ to work together or we're going to end up in the punishment pit! Remember what happened last time?"

"The  _bees_." He shivered.

"Right. Neither of us want to experience that again. So let's just agree to cooperate long enough to get it done and then we can move on with our lives."

Zim said nothing for a long time. I thought of that night he stood on my porch, in the rain, asking permission to come inside. He looked up at me, like he had so many things to say but couldn't think of a single one.

"Very well." He said, averting his gaze. "We will do this  _horrible_ project and be done with it. We shall… we shall be a group. Truce?"

He offered me a hand to shake.

"Whatever." I pocketed my hands instead. "Just be ready when I come tomorrow."

What happened next caught me surprise. Fire leapt into his eyes and, for a single second, I thought he was going to attack me. Instead he just ground his teeth and pointed at the door. "Get out of my sight!" When I hesitated, he shouted: " _NOW_!"

A bit rattled, I obeyed. My heart thumped in my chest as I forced myself to walk, though I wanted to run, into the elevator. The doors opened automatically and as I turned around to press the button to go back upstairs, I saw him sink into a chair.

Just before the doors closed, he leaned forward like he was about to be sick.

I spent the elevator ride replaying that last, puzzling scene in my head. But by the time I had surfaced in Zim's mismatched kitchen, I had already forgotten about it. That might surprise you. You would think that two, obsessive arch-enemies would care about each other on some level.

Well, you're wrong.

There's a fine line between enemy and friend, I'll give you that, but at the end of the day there's still a crucial difference. If Zim had the opportunity to kill me, he would. And me? Well, I hadn't been in that situation yet. But if I'm being honest with myself, I think I would too.

And that's the difference.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Another Dreamtime is coming up tomorrow.


	3. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here's the last catch-up chapter! After tomorrow's update, it will resume the same schedule as FF.net. Dreamtime chapters on Fridays, full chapters on Mondays!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own a very nice lamp from Target. I can't post a picture of it here so you'll have to take my word for it.

_The Wall has no end._

_I tilted my head so far back that my neck twinged, but I could see no ceiling. The concrete was a road with no destination, stretching miles upon miles into the starless darkness._

_Was I really that small?_

_Shaking, I placed a hand against The Wall. I expected the concrete to be cold but it was warm. Closing my eyes, I focused on its blistered surface, warped by patchy layers of red and brown. The warmth pulsed beneath my fingertips, like a heartbeat._

_**Crack!** _

_I opened my eyes. To the right of me, a black fissure stretched up into the void._

_Approaching with slow steps, my heart beating in my chest, I peaked inside. At first, I saw nothing. But as I squinted closer, pressing myself against the concrete, I saw a small, white_ _ **something**_   _floating in the distance. There was a black dot in the middle of it- tiny, as if tapped on with the end of a pen._ _The air was hot and steam crept up my glasses. I wiped the lenses with the bottom of my shirt and looked again..._

_...and an eye looked back at me._

_**Crack! Crack! Crack!** _

_I stumbled backwards and tripped. The eye reared up along the fissure, staring at down me with a dilating black pupil as The Wall shattered into pieces._

_"Run!"_ _cried the boy. He was afraid but his bear smiled. "It's going to get you!"_

_I spun around just in time to see the eye in my face; the pupil so wide that I could see my mouth opening as I started to scream…_  
  


**XXX**  
  


_We're taking your Voot Cruiser tomorrow right?_ I texted.

Outside my open window, I could hear the familiar sounds of my street- crickets chirping, a car backfiring a couple blocks away. The bright light from my phone screen chased the shadows back into the corners of my room.

 _No, it's out of commission!_ The reply came within seconds.  _Why are you awake in the middle of the night?!_

Out of commission? That was a first. Zim's ship was an outdated piece of junk compared to Tak's but it was also much easier to repair and customize, which is why I assumed he kept it around instead of upgrading. My Spittle Runner had voice-controlled AI and an improved warp drive but had taken one hit to the left thruster and now couldn't be repaired without an expensive part imported from Irk. The Voot Cruiser, on the other hand, looked like it had been dragged out of a lake and then battered against the side of a mountain but every time I shot it down, Zim had it running as good as new within days. What had finally done it in?

 _Did you crash again?_ I asked.

_None of your filthy business, worm baby! Go to bed and bother ZIM no longer!_

_Can you get it fixed by tomorrow?_

I waited for a while but no answer came, so I reluctantly turned the phone off. The room went dark, illuminated only by the soft glow of the stars on my ceiling.  _Zim's right_ , I thought,  _I need to go to sleep_. But as I pulled the covers up and settled onto my pillow, I spotted the new drawing on my wall- a white eye peaking out from a dark crack of scratched lines. I turned over and tried to fall asleep but I could still feel it in the darkness.

Watching me.

So I spent the rest of the night downstairs, watching reruns of Mysterious Mysteries until the sun came up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two is tomorrow!


	4. Far Too Many Coincidences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the first regular update! Just in time to meet a certain homicidal maniac...
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own vase of flowers, which is sitting on shelf that's way too high for my cat to possibly- oops, nevermind. I don't own a vase of flowers.

 

**agent_mothman:** hey gaz! zim and i are going to work on the project today.  
**agent_mothman:** we're writing about the homicidal maniac!  
**v0x3lr0t:**  Wow, that's so fascinating!  
**v0x3lr0t:** And by that, I mean I don't care.  
**agent_mothman:**  so i've been doing some research and WOW this story is crazy!  
**agent_mothman:**  did you know he killed everyone in a restaurant?!  
**agent_mothman:** even the cockroaches!  
**agent_mothman:** and he STILL didn't get caught!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Stop blowing up my phone. If I lose this boss battle, I will destroy you.  
**agent_mothman:** i mean, this case just screams paranormal!  
**agent_mothman:** pun intended  
**agent_mothman:** hehe screams  
**v0x3lr0t:** I'm going to pretend that last message never happened.  
**v0x3lr0t:** Are you coming home for dinner tonight?  
**agent_mothman:** i dunno, i gotta see how this goes  
**agent_mothman:** i might really be onto something here!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Whatever, Dib.

**XXX**

"This homicidal maniac case is FAR more interesting than I initially thought!" I exclaimed. Newspaper clippings from this morning's paper were scattered across Zim's kitchen table, and arranged into haphazard piles. I really needed a bulletin board. Every good conspiracy theorist should have a bulletin board. "Every image of the killer is blurry, video goes to static when he enters a room and people can't describe what he looks like! Victims who have escaped his torture dungeon have gone to the police and then somehow forget where he lives! How can anyone think this case is normal?!"

GIR, who was flipping a pancake in a frying pan, just shrugged. Then he hummed a little as he poured in a cup of tiny screws and bolts.

"I've got a couple ideas for what it might be, but it's a little too early to guess." I continued, reshuffling the clippings. "Vampire baby, perhaps? Barista ghost? I'm  _really_ hoping for a werebee, though. I never did catch that last one. Uh, do you know when Zim's coming up?"

Finally, the robot turned around. "You talkin' to  _meee_?"

Ugh. Typical.

"Whatever." I started to gather up my research. Zim would be angry if I left this mess in his kitchen. He was  _already_  going to be mad that I cut up his newspaper. "I'll go find him myself."

That might have implied that I was annoyed, but I really wasn't. Reading about the case had filled me with a thrill that I hadn't felt in a long time. The past couple months were stretched out in my memory like a grey horizon on a rainy day and it had been so long since I was genuinely excited about something. With the frequency of the dreams increasing, in addition to Zim's weird behavior, the distraction had me giddy with excitement. Or maybe that was the sleep deprivation? I couldn't tell the difference anymore.

As I descended into Zim's base, I replayed the thrilling details of the case. The maniac was male. He appeared to be human, but appearances were deceiving. He targeted all age-groups, ethnicities, religions and professions- so it was random. No pattern. No correlation. Completely, maddeningly,  _excitingly_  random. He killed in public. He slaughtered restaurants and cafes full of people and  _still_ got away with it. And those he kidnapped? He often brought them back to his house for unspeakable, meaningless torture.

It sounded like a movie. There was a real-life Jason on loose in a town that was just a short bus ride away.

And I had the scoop on it!

Agent Darkbootie was going to so impressed! Maybe I would actually be promoted to Senior Agent? What would I wear for my Mysterious Mysteries interview? Would they invite me to become the new host of the show? Not to brag, but I do a  _pretty_  good Robert Stack impression.

I was just compiling a list of cases I would feature on my first episode when the elevator stopped at an unfamiliar floor. As it opened, I heard voices.

"I'm sorry Zim, I can't do that! I'll get in trouble!"

"Why?! I wrote half of those files! It's  _my_  research!"

A huge screen encompassed the long back wall of the room, with video quality so crisp it would put any IMAX theater to shame. On the screen, there was an image of giant pink doughnut, flecked with white and purple sprinkles.

I stared at it.

It was like a piece of modern art; I knew what I was seeing, but I just couldn't make any sense of it. Then, I noticed a small green face in the center but I didn't recognize it until it spoke again.

"I understand that, Zim!" Skoodge said, "I know it's your research, but giving information from my PAK to unclassified-"

"UNCLASSIFIED?!" Zim slammed a fist on the control board and the screen wavered with static.

" _Blorch_ , I didn't mean it like that!" Skoodge was saying as the image returned. "You know what I meant! The Tallest will put me through an existence evaluation if I shared-"

"I have the same information in my PAK, Skoodge! I just can't access it! Every time I try that containment protocol keeps stopping me! If I could only figure out how to bypass-"

"You've been  _hacking_  your  _PAK_?!"

"What choice do I have?!"

"Zim, that's dangerous! Look, I don't know what you're planning but it's probably bad! You're going to get in trouble and then you're going to get  _me_  in trouble, the way you always do!"

"You're a coward!"

"Yes! Yes, I am! And I'm sorry but I'm  _not_  getting involved this time!" For a moment, he looked determined. Then in a whimpering voice, he added. "Please don't hate me!"

I thought Zim would scream at him, but he became silent instead and somehow that was worse. He leaned over the control panel, like he was about to throw up.

I couldn't watch this anymore. I thought about retreating back into the elevator, but I wasn't really sure how to open to the doors without asking the computer. So I decided to go inside and pretend like I hadn't overheard anything.

"Hey, Skoodge!" I said.

Skoodge squinted for a moment and then spotted me. He wriggled a gloved hand out of the side of the doughnut and waved. "Hey, buddy! Long time, no see! Wow, you've gotten tall!"

Skoodge, as far as evil alien invaders went, was a pretty cool guy. He lived with Zim for a while before leaving to go on another mission and we hung out a couple times. To be honest, I wished he had been assigned Earth instead of Zim, because I'm pretty sure I could have convinced him to switch sides. I would have taken him to the mall for pizza or something and maybe... I dunno, maybe we could have been friends? That would  _never_  happen with Zim.

"What's with the outfit?" I asked.

"Oh, it's just a disguise for my new mission. I'm stationed on The Planet of Frying, y'know? It's neat! So, what're you doing here? Sneaking around Zim's base again?"

Zim had straightened up and was fiddling with the controls for the monitor. Or pretending to, at least. He didn't even look at me.

"Not this time," I said. "We're working together on a skool project."

"Working  _together_? Like voluntarily?" Skoodge's eyes widened in surprise. "That's great! I'm glad to see you're following my advice, Zim. It's good to have friends around!"

Zim grumbled something that I'm sure wasn't polite. Then, he froze.

"It is good, Skoodge." He said, slowly, like he was reading from a script he had never performed before. "I  _love_  helping the Dib-monster! In fact, that's what I need that file for! It's research for our project!"

"Really?" Skoodge glanced at me. "Is that true?"

My first instinct was to say no. It was an instinct long honed from years of trying to stop Zim from whatever he was planning. Good for him, bad for me and vice versa.

But then I caught Zim's eye. That's the benefit of an enemy- I could read Zim better than anyone. I had picked up the skill from years of sitting across from him in class. Zim was loud- as anyone who happens to be in his vicinity for longer than thirty seconds would know- but it was really the small expressions that gave him away. A slight curl of the lip when he had an evil plan, the way he tapped his pencil when he was frustrated, how his hands tightened into fists when presented with something he didn't understand- I know all of these things. I'd be a poor investigator if I couldn't read my own arch-enemy's body language.

So when our gazes met for a second, so quickly that Skoodge probably didn't even notice, I caught the tiniest hint of  _something_  in Zim's eyes. Desperation. It was so slight, so quick nobody else would have noticed. But I did. Of course, I did. And to me, he might as well have been begging at my feet. It would have had the same effect.

"Yeah..." I found myself saying. "It's for the project..." Realizing how shaky that sounded, I broke eye contact with Zim and turned back to Skoodge. I forced a little more confidence into my voice. "I made him ask for the… uhh… files because I didn't think you'd give it to a human. Sorry about that!"

_What am I doing?_ I berated myself as I stood there, shoulders back, staring up at the screen. I might have just given Zim something to endanger the Earth!

"Weeeell," Skoodge thought about it, scratching his non-existent chin with a gloved hand. "Alrighty then. The fact you would need RFS research files for a skool project is TOTALLY WEIRD but where else are you gonna get them, right? I'm sending the data over now! Just keep it on the down low, okay?"

"Finally!" Zim muttered.

"Hey, anytime! I'm just glad you guys have become such close friends! It really warms my three hearts, y'know? It's important to stick together in a time like-" An explosion rattled in the distance. Skoodge waddled around in a little circle to look. "Looks like a battalion of frybots are closing in on me. Gotta go! Zim, please call me more, alright? I worry about you some- BY THE TALLEST THERE'S LIKE TWENTY OF THEM!"

The transmission went dead.

I stared at the static. What had he been talking about? Zim and I-  _close_? The only way was  _close_ to Zim was in proximity. I glanced over at him, but he was just scrolling through something on a tablet.

"Do you think Skoodge will be okay?" I asked.

"Huh?" Zim glanced up. "Eh, I dunno. More importantly, he sent everything I needed!"

I tried to stand on my toes to catch a glimpse of the screen, but he turned it off and a metal arm came out of his PAK to retrieve it. "What is it?" I blurted out.

Zim didn't glare at me the way he usually did when I butted into his business. Instead, there was a long pause. He considered me like he was seeing me for the first time.

"Why should I tell you, human?" He asked.

_I have to know if I just doomed the Earth_ , I should have said.  _I'm your greatest enemy and I deserve to know what's going on!_ He expected me to say.  _Because you've been acting weird and I need to know why._ I wanted to say.

And yet, all I said was: "Whatever, Zim. Keep it to yourself. I don't care."

Then I walked away.

But before I did, I caught just the slightest hint of disappointment in his eyes.

**XXX**

Mount Pleasant  _would_  have been a ten-minute flight in an Irken spacecraft but since the Voot Cruiser wasn't working for some reason Zim still refused to share, it was an hour long bus ride instead.

Zim hated buses. He called them "stink-machines" and took a good five minutes disinfecting the seat before we were even allowed to sit down. I didn't mind buses so much. Sure it was crowded but people left me alone and I left them alone too. I spent most of the ride scribbling a list of interview questions in a notebook. With any luck, I could have a lead by the end of the day.

Finally, the bus pulled up to a stop on Main Street. There was a row of stores and restaurants, so I guessed we were somewhere in the heart of the town. Perfect!

"We should split up to cover more ground." I told Zim, as I glanced over the questions again. "You can do some research at the library, while I try to interview some-"

"You wish to  _split up_?!"

I found the way he asked that sort of funny. He said it like I was the protagonist of a horror movie and he was a genre savvy audience member shrieking advice at the screen.

"You sound surprised."

"I…" He drew in a sharp breath. "I do not think it is wise!"

I raised an eyebrow. "It is wise, actually. If we split the work, we can get it done faster. I can cover the interviews and you can do the research."

A strange look crossed his face. It was like I could see him thinking, weighing two decisive factors against each other. These two opposing ideas were locked in a battle to the death but one emerged victorious, waving the bloody head of its opponent around like a trophy.

"Fine! But I insist you take Minimoose!" Zim snapped his fingers and Minimoose flew beside him- awaiting an order. "He has a built-in communicator which you will use to contact me if you require my assistance. However, let me warn you! If you fail to bring him back to me in one piece, you will pay with your  _spleen_."

You might think this was another one of Zim's empty threats, but I can personally attest to the fact that he has taken organs before. It took forever for Dad to grow me another pair of lungs. "I don't want your stupid floating moose, Zim. Why can't I just text you?"

"Is your brain malfunctioning or have you forgotten there is a mad cereal human on the loose? Minimoose can at least provide you with some measure of protection!"

" _Protection_?! I'm not five years old! And why would you care if I got abducted by a  _serial_ killer?"

"This is a group project, swine! If you are dead, I will fail!" He had a good point. It actually stated that in directions. "You will take Minimoose and that's the end of it!" He tugged GIR's leash. The robot, and the trashcan he was riffling through, toppled over. "I will pay a visit to this  _lie-berry_  and see what knowledge I can attain on this disgusting place."

"It's  _library_  but otherwise, that sounds good. I'll let you know when I'm done."

Already refocusing my attention back on the questions, I started to walk off.

"Human!" Zim called after me. I turned around just in time to see a metal arm from his PAK deposit something tiny into his gloved hand. He clenched his fist shut before I could see anything. "There… is something I must give you. Though it PAINS me to admit it, I would not have received that file from Skoodge without your assistance. I owe you a debt of gratitude, Dibthing."

"You're welcome?" I said, confused.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Did I  _thank_  you?! I  _said_ I owe you a debt of gratitude and Irkens do not like to owe debts! So allow me to impart an AMAZING Zim gift upon you!"

Then he handed me something in a tiny vial. I held it up to the light. Shimmering red liquid sloshed against the side of the glass.

"Drink this vial before you go to sleep tonight." When I gave him a suspicious look, he added. "It will not kill you! And even if I  _wished_  to kill you, poison is not my preferred method. It is uncreative and sadly lacking in horribly painful explosions! No, this is merely a sedative I have engineered with my ingenious brain. I assure you it is harmless."

"And… why are you carrying this around?"

"I use it quite often when conducting experiments. Humans scream and beg less for their pitiful lives when they're asleep, y'know? This single dose will keep you unconscious for a solid eight hours."

I twirled the little vial around my finger. "I don't know if I trust you."

"Trust me or do not trust me; it matters little to Zim! Now, let's get this hideous project over with."

We exchanged a couple insults and parted without much fanfare- Zim going one way, barking at GIR for directions to the library, and me heading out in the other direction.

But as I walked off, I couldn't get the conversation out of my head. I prided myself on being able to read Zim like book, which was a feat since it was written in all capital letters with a lot of exclamation points, and the fact I had absolutely no idea why he was acting so weird really bothered me. A debt of  _gratitude_? Since when had Zim ever acted grateful for anything?

It was suspicious.

I fingered the smooth glass in my pocket. I knew Zim was a liar. I knew it probably  _was_  poison. I knew that whatever it was could kill me.

But a sharp pain pounded behind my eyes and I found myself rubbing the bridge of my nose to force it back. How much longer could I go on like this? If there was just the  _slightest_ chance Zim was telling the truth, if the sedative could give me just  _one_  night of good sleep, then maybe….

… maybe it was worth the risk?

Well, I could decide that later. Right now, I had a job to do. Flipping through the notebook, I tried to memorize some of the interview questions.

"I don't even know where to start." I confessed. With Minimoose floating beside me, it didn't feel so weird talking to myself. "I guess I'll just grab a random person. Hey, excuse me!" A man passed by, drinking a can of soda. "Do you have a moment to answer a couple of-?"

He kept walking.

"This is going to be harder than I thought." I said to Minimoose.

And that was  _before_  the empty soda can bounced off my head.

**XXX**

About a year ago, I took part in a door-to-door fundraiser. Though there were times that doors would be slammed shut in my face or people would refuse to talk to me, I had a powerful advantage. I had candy. People wanted candy and so they didn't mind listening to my spiel about fundraising for education to get it.

But now, I had no candy and no advantage.

It was designed to be a simple survey, just a couple questions about the neighborhood and the attacks, but after a grueling hour of having dogs sicked on me, being blasted into the street with a garden hose, pelted with oranges and whacked with a cane- well, I wasn't having much luck with it.

"It's just a few questions!" I cried, after a woman had her boyfriend toss me in the dumpster. "I mean, it's not like I'm asking for money or anything!"

Minimoose sympathetically nudged a banana peel off my head.

By noon, the only person I had interviewed was a homeless man who answered every question with "all of the above" even though none of them were multiple choice. I was tired, hungry and a bit dejected so I decided to stop at a local café and get some lunch.

Since it was the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, the café was practically empty. The door made a little jingling noise as I came in. A lanky goth guy sat alone at one of the tables and glanced in my direction before adjusting his ear-buds and returning to the book he was reading, a universal sign of Don't Talk to Me. The only other table was occupied by a young couple who were laughing about something, though I couldn't hear what.

Minimoose squeaked.

"Yeah, you're right." I said, feeling hopeful. "They look like they could be in college. College students have tons of projects and research papers to do so they might understand if it's for skool, right?" Then, I paused. "Wait, how did I know you said that?"

Minimoose just gazed at me.

"Neurotransmitters? In my  _brain_?! That's messed up! When did you even  _do_  that?! Well, whatever. I'm just going to go interview them before they think I'm talking to myself."

I took a second to refresh the questions in my mind before I approached the table. They were still laughing and so I had to clear my throat to catch their attention.

"Hi, my name is Dib."

They looked at me. I don't know why I suddenly felt nervous. Maybe it's some sort of survival instinct humans have from our less evolved years. If something is staring at you, it's probably figuring out the best way to rip your arm off.

I had to clear my throat again. "Umm, I have to do a survey for a skool project about the homicidal maniac."

The girl leaned back in her chair. "What is that purple thing?"

For a moment, I didn't know what she was talking about. Then I remembered Minimoose, floating over my shoulder. "Oh, that's just… a normal Earth moose." She stared at me. Her glasses were so shiny, I couldn't read the expression in her eyes. "Anyway, would you guys mind answering a couple questions?"

"Yeah, okay." The guy shrugged. He had shaggy black hair and a piercing on his eyebrow. I wondered if it hurt at all. "I've got some theories about this maniac guy."

The girl snorted. " _Theories_? Seriously?"

"Yeah, Tess! Theories! Are you fucking deaf or something? Here's the thing about serial killers, kid." He wasn't actually answering any of my questions, but I wrote down what he was saying anyway. At least I had something to put in my notebook this time. "People think killers are these big, scary nightmare guys like Freddy or Jason. They go batshit crazy and start making a big media circus and trying to figure out what makes em' tick and stuff but it all really boils down to one thing: they're all  _losers_."

_Losers_. I wrote. And based on the way he stressed it, I added an underline for emphasis.

"Every time they catch one of these guys, who does it turn out to be? Some freak with no friends who jacks off to violent pornography in his basement. He gets off on all of the attention because he has mommy issues and what we do? We all fucking freak out about it so he does it more! But you know what we  _should_  do?"

"What should we do, Dillon?" Tess sighed, on cue. Evidently she had heard this before.

"Laugh at him!"

" _Laugh_  at him?" I stopped writing. That really hadn't been the answer I expected.

"Yeah, that's what I said! You know what I would do if that guy came up to me right now with a knife? I'd be like 'yeah, whatever asshole. I'm going home'. You see what I'm saying? If I screamed and begged for my life, he'd be sexually aroused and murder me but if I was like blah about it, he'd probably go home and cry or something. But no,  _nobody_  does that. Instead people go around talking about it and doing surveys and shit."

"Come on, Dillon." Tess muttered, avoiding my puzzled gaze. "He said it was for a project."

"He's part of the problem! Actually s _ociety_ is the problem, Tess. They just don't get it! I tell em' how it is and they just don't get it."

Since the conversation was taking a sour turn, I scribbled the last of my notes and decided to make my escape. "Well, thanks for the help but I have to-"

"If they listened to me more, we could prevent this kind of stuff from happening." Dillon continued over me, "I bet I could profile a killer before he even killed anybody."

" _Really_?" Tess's voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Yeah, take this kid right here." He waved a hand in my direction. "Future serial killer, for sure."

"Oh, come on."

I made another escape attempt. "I  _really_ have to-"

"Just look at him. Skinny, weird trench-coat, smelly breath. He's got all of the signs. Let me ask you a question." Then, he leaned forward like an officer preparing for an investigation. "Name five of your closest friends."

"That's not a question, Dillon."

"Shut up, Tess." Then to me, he said. "Go on. Name five."

I shouldn't have even tried to play his game. The guy was obviously a jerk so I should have just thanked them for the interview and walked out. But he threw me so off-guard that my panicked mind started searching for some names.  _Any_  names. But my mind was so blank it was hard to believe I had ever had a thought before in my life.

"You see." Dillon leaned back in his chair with a triumphant smirk. "I had this kid pinned. Future serial killer, right here."

Have you ever been punched in the face? I have. My glasses cracked, I lost a tooth and my cheek was bruised for an entire week. But all of that was preferable to the pain I felt now. I kind of stared at Dillon but he just shrugged and took a sip of his coffee. I looked over at the girl, but she stared at the table, avoiding my gaze.

"I'm… just going to ask someone else." I said, "Thanks for your time."

"What're you looking at me like that for, asshole?" I heard him snap at someone, as I walked away. "Jesus, I was kidding!"

I drifted towards the counter to look at the food, but I could barely read the labels through my blurred vision.  _Crying, worm baby?_ I could hear Zim's mocking voice in my mind as I blinked back a couple tears.  _Did the poor little Dib monkey get his feelings hurt?_

Usually I was pretty good at dusting off insults- skool had trained me well for that- but this hurt more than it should have.

_Maybe because it's true?_

Minimoose nudged my shoulder but I ignored him. Is that really how people saw me? Not as a hero, not as the lone savior of humanity- but as the prime candidate for "most likely to shoot up the skool" in the yearbook?

I wiped away a couple rebellious tears with the sleeve of my jacket.  _Don't listen to that guy_. I told myself.  _He's just a jerk_. So, I bought a muffin and tried not to make eye contact with the cashier as he took the money from my shaking hand.

"Excuse me." I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. When I turned around, I had to step back to look up at the tall man who gazed down at me. I realized he was the goth guy sitting in the back the café when I came in. "You needed an interview?"

Seeing him up close, I realized how  _thin_ he was and the striped shirt he was wearing gave him the illusion of being even skinnier, like his waist could fit in the circumference of my hand. He smiled, too broadly.

"Uh, yeah." I said.

An awkward silence fell between us. The man stared at me. "I thought interviews consisted of questions?" Then, after a long pause, he added: "Unless that's interrogations. I get those two confused."

"No, no! You're right!" The realization that he was actually offering to help with my project began to sink in. "I have some questions!"

Of course, they happened to escape me at that moment, as questions so often do. I started frantically flipping through my notebook.

"I hope this isn't a survey." The man said, his slender fingers tightening around the coffee cup he was holding. "I hate surveys! Unless they are conducted door to door and there aren't any witnesses. In that case, they're quite delightful." An explosion of laughter erupted from the next table. I noticed Dillon glancing over in our direction. "Obnoxious, aren't they?" The man said, as his smile faded. "Yesterday, they had the nerve to tell me my head looked like a badger's ass."

"What does that even mean?"

"I assume it's an insult. Rest assured, it is a bit of my personal philosophy that vengeance is swift. Or, to put it in more colloquial terms, what goes around comes around."

"Do you really think that?" I raised an eyebrow. "Because I don't think the universe is that fair. Usually I find the good people suffer horribly and the bad people get away with everything."

"Oh sure. I mean, if you leave karma to the universe nothing is going to get done. But you'd be surprised at how much a lead pipe and a funnel full of rats can make you feel better.  _Annnnyways_ ," He took a sip of his coffee. "Why don't we have a seat and you can ask me some of those questions? My name is Johnny, by the way. Nny for short."

He extended a slender hand for me to shake, which I did. It was like shaking hands with a skeleton, but I didn't really mind since it had been the first genuinely friendly gesture I had received all day.

"I'm Dib." I answered, before I realized I shouldn't be giving my name away to strangers. Well, he seemed nice. "Why not John?"

He grinned. "Why not Nny?"

That was as good an answer as any, I guessed.

I followed Nny to a small table in the back the café, far from Dillon's laughter. As I settled into a seat, I took a bite of my muffin.

"So, what brings an innocent child out this cesspool?" Nny asked, watching me alternate between eating and flipping through the notebook. "Project for a class?"

I managed a nod.

"Ah, education." Nny leaned back in his chair, his long legs perched against the table. "If you want an education, you won't find it in a school. Teachers are simply teaching you how to pass tests so they can secure their own employment and appease the state monkeys. Did that answer your question?"

"I…" I finally managed to swallow. "I didn't ask anything yet."

"Oh, right. My apologies! So, what's your project on?"

"A current events story."

"I see." Nny smiled, grimly. "And you're researching the murders, I assume? That's the only newsworthy story in this goddamn place. But that's a bit of a dark subject matter for a nice little Dib like you, isn't it?"

"I'm mature for my age!" I assured him, steeling myself for a confrontation. Dad was always telling me to stop being so morbid and insane. "I'm a paranormal investigator, so I'm used to scary stuff. I study ghosts, bigfoot and aliens mostly."

"Isn't this a tad outside your area of expertise then?"

"Not really. Any idiot could see there's something weird going on here."

I waited for the inevitable " _you're crazy!"_ but it never came. In fact, the man's face grew quite serious. "You believe there's some sort of supernatural aspect to this… homicidal maniac?"

"Yeah! I mean, it's pretty obvious. How could an average human keep killing in broad daylight and not get noticed?! Take that story last week with that dead mime-"

"It was a clown." Nny corrected. "A  _horrible_  clown with a fake water pistol! But continue."

"Right, sorry. Take that story with the dead clown. The killer stabbed him in the middle of a park and then drained him of all of his blood. Fifty people saw it and took pictures. And yet not  _one_  of those pictures came out clear enough to see and none of those people could describe the killer in detail? That's not natural!"

"I'll admit I have often thought the same thing." Nny leaned back in his chair. "There are far too many coincidences, aren't there?"

"Wait, you agree with me?"

"You sound surprised."

"It's just… people don't really believe me that often."

Nny graced me with an understanding smile. "That's a shame. You seem like a smart kid. And in this regard, I believe you are absolutely right. How can something like that happen? At first, I assumed it was because people were stupid and just hadn't noticed. Then I figured that they just didn't care. But when it came to my attention that several escaped victims had gone to the police and nothing had been done, I became suspicious. I'm curious, Dib, what are your theories on the matter?"

"Well, I don't know." The idea that someone was actually  _asking_ me what I thought about something- and not being sarcastic about it- was a bit overwhelming. Minimoose started squeaking, indicating that Zim was trying to contact me but I waved him away. "If I had to guess, I'd say the killer is a vampire or a ghost. That would explain the interference with the cameras. And somehow the police are trying to cover it up like a…"  _conspiracy_ , I almost said but trailed off. When you say the word conspiracy, you're usually dismissed as crazy.

"A good theory, based on the evidence you have." Nny said, resting his head on his interlaced fingers. "But allow me to propose another one. What if our killer was  _not_  supernatural? What if he was as real as you or me? A person of flesh and blood?"

"So then how do you explain…"

"Ah, that's the thing! If our killer is entirely human, then what is protecting him? I am proposing that there is something  _cosmic_  bending the rules. That would explain why every attempt at capturing him has failed, why victims can't remember where he lives, how video files of him show nothing but static when they are played back. Something is watching out for him."

The more I considered the idea, the more I liked it. It explained everything about the case in one fell swoop. But it wasn't a complete theory. "Why, though?"

Nny's smile faded. "That's the one thing that eludes me. Why is this homicidal maniac- this one vile, disgusting person out of billions- receiving this special treatment?"

"Maybe he made a deal with a demon or something."

"I think you give him far too much credit. I don't think he's anything more than a pathetic tool, warped to  _its_ purpose." Then he caught me staring at him. "What?"

"You seem to know a lot about this."

His eyes sharpened. "What do you mean?"

"You're another investigator, aren't you?!" I exclaimed. As we had been talking, the idea that he might be another Swollen Eyeball Agent flittered through my mind. But I highly doubted that since I hadn't heard of any other agents operating near my location. Not that I have the best reputation in the network, but they would have contacted me for free snacks or something. Still, even if he wasn't a Swollen Eyeball Agent, Nny had too much of a vested interest to be just a thoughtful bystander.

Nny's eyes widened and then he laughed. "An  _investigator_?! That's a first!"

"Are you?"

"Aren't we  _all_  investigators in a cosmic sort of way?"

"That didn't answer my question."

"No, it was frustratingly vague wasn't it?" He smirked and took another sip of his coffee. "I like you, Dib. I think you're a good kid. And I would tell you that you shouldn't get involved in all of this, but we both know that you don't give a shit what  _I_ say and you're going to do whatever the you want. So while you're working on this project, I would appreciate it if you kept me informed of what you're finding. All I can say is that I… have a very personal stake in this. Help me identify this  _thing_  and I'll put an end to it. Do we have a deal?"

"Yeah! Of course!" I could have burst with joy. Nobody had ever believed me before! The thought of having a partner was comforting in a way I couldn't begin to explain.

"Wonderful." At that moment, Dillon and Tess got up. And just before they left, Dillion tossed his empty cup in our direction and it bounced off the side of the table, splattering my notebook with a couple stray drops of coffee. After the door closed with a jingle, Nny smiled and got to his feet. "If you'll excuse me, I must be going. I have a feeling I will be expecting some  _guests_ very shortly. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dib."

"Wait!" I exclaimed, as if he was just going to disappear in a puff of smoke. "How will I find you?!"

"Oh, don't worry about that." Nny said. " _I'll_  find you. I always do."

At that moment, the door jingled again and I became aware of something approaching from the corner of my eye.  _Whoops,_ I thought. Over the course of my earnest conversation with Nny, I realized that I had ignored Zim's attempts to contact me. And, by the murderous look in his eyes, he hadn't taken that well.

We both turned as Zim came to a stop in front of us. First, he looked at me. It was a quick glance, like he was just confirming I was there, and then he turned to Nny. His artificial eyes narrowed.

"I order you to leave!"

Nny looked puzzled. "I  _was_  leaving, actually."

"Then-! Err! LEAVE  _FASTER_!"

For a single second, a look of absolute rage crossed Nny's face, surfacing like a shark ready to take a bite out of an unsuspecting victim. Then it disappeared.

And in its place was a pleasant smile.

"What's your name?" He asked.

The alien sneered at him. "I am Zim! You would do well to remember it, noodle-man!"

"Oh, I will." Nny chuckled, "Don't you worry about that,  _Zim_."

And then, with one last cheery wave to me, he was gone.

Before the door even closed, Zim's glare snapped back to me. "You are more of fool than I thought! Have you no common sense?!"

"What are you yelling at me for?" I retorted. "I was interviewing him for the project! That's what I was  _supposed_  to be doing! And why is it any of your business anyway, huh? You don't have any say about who I talk to!"

"I don't like him!"

"You don't like  _anyone_."

He had to concede me on that point. "Regardless, I didn't lend you Minimoose so you could ignore me!"

"Yeah, sorry about that." I said, though we both knew I wasn't. "What did you want?"

"I have completed my mission earlier than scheduled and have commandeered many valuable books from the lie-berry for our project!  _PREPARE YOUR INFERIOR OPTICS_!" He gestured dramatically to the door as GIR came in, dragging a towering wagon full of books behind him. "Are you not impressed?"

I'll admit that I actually stood up in surprise. "Wow! This is great! They let you check out all of these on your library card?"

Zim stopped basking in the complement to stare at me. "...Card?"

"Zim, you idiot! You didn't steal these, did you?! Now the librarians will send parasites after us!"

"Well, I did my part! Let's see all of your work!"

And that's when I remembered that I had forgotten to ask Nny any of the interview questions and my notebook remained blank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamtime on Friday. Thanks for reading!


	5. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been reading! And a huge thank you to fullmetalpon-3 on Tumblr for the awesome fanart! That was super cool!
> 
> Now it's time for another nightmare, but this time things get a little… unusual.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I also do not own a yo-yo. Why do you keep asking me about this yo-yo? Please, stop. I definitely didn't borrow it from you last year at the Christmas party. You're obviously thinking of someone else.

 

_The Wall spoke to me._

_I pressed my ear against the concrete, the concrete that should have felt cold but was instead warm against my skin. Muffled voices whispered in thousands of languages all at once and my mind buzzed with as many words as there were stars in the sky- words that have stopped existing, words that have yet to exist and words that will never exist at all. I wanted these words. I wanted to understand them; I wanted to speak them with my own tongue._

_The Wall would teach me._

_The little boy in the pajamas stood behind me, his feet bare on the wooden floor._

" _Run!" He cried, "It's going to get you!"_

_Run._

_I knew that word._

_The boy's voice echoed around me as The Wall cracked. Thousands of voices flooded into the room, taking up the boy's warning like a chanting crowd at a baseball game._ _**Get you, get you, get you…** _

_As I covered my ears to block out the voices, I knew something was wrong. It was the feeling of sitting on the bus on your way to skool, and knowing that you forgot_ _**something** _ _at home- but you rifled through your backpack several times and just couldn't remember what it was._

_What was it?_

_Pieces of concrete exploded into dust as they tumbled to the ground; the crack in The Wall widened like a screaming mouth. The chanting rose to a screaming crescendo, a tidal wave of noise descending on me._ _**GET YOU, GET YOU, GET YOU!** _

" _What's going on?!"_

_A voice startled me from my thoughts and I spun around to find the little boy standing at my side, the bear clenched against his chest. I had forgotten he was there._

_"This hasn't happened before!" The boy cast a frightened glance around the room. "Usually we wake up by now!"_

_**Wake up?**_   _His words triggered something- a key unlocking a door. This was a dream, I realized. This was the same nightmare I had been having for weeks! I was asleep in my bed and none of this was-_

_Wait._

_I stared at the boy. "_ _**We** _ _?"_

_His eyes widened. But before he could run off, I seized his arm and yanked him back. The boy yelped in surprise and tried to twist out of my grasp but I was older and stronger than he was._

" _What do you mean_ _ **we**_ _?!" I demanded, "Who are you?!"_

_**WHO ARE YOU?!** _ _The chanting voices howled._ _**WHO ARE YOU?! WHO ARE YOU?!** _

_Concrete crashed to the floor around us, like rocks in a mudslide. Dust and debris swirled in the air as the boy tugged his arm, hard enough to dislocate his shoulder. By the way he screamed and pulled, I wondered if he would start gnawing it off like a wolf in a bear trap._

" _Let me go!" He cried, tears streaming down his face._

_**LET ME GO, LET ME GO, LET ME GO...** _

" _What is this thing?!" I shouted. "What does it want?!"_

_**WANT, WANT, WANT...** _

" _We have to run! Please! It's going to get us!"_

_**GET US, GET US, GET US...** _

" _It's not real! This is just a-"_

_It stabbed me through the chest._

_Pain exploded through my body and I screamed as I collapsed to the floor, drowned out by millions of wailing voices. The little boy backed away from my limp grasp, his eyes wide with horror as my shaking hand flew up to my heart. My fingers grazed the tip of a silver knife, blood gushing down the front of my-_

**XXX**

My heart twisted inside my chest as I gripped my nightshirt and rolled out of bed, crashing to the floor. I tried to call out for help but my voice came out as a strained, hoarse whisper- too weak to ever reach Dad or Gaz. My phone was on the nightstand above me and I reached up but my heart twisted again like someone was ringing it out like a sponge. I slammed back onto the hard floor with a gasp of pain.

I don't know how long I laid there- tangled in my sweat drenched sheets, calling for a help in soft, gasping cries- until the pain began to subside. Eventually, my heart returned to it's normal pace and I was left there, shivering, afraid to move.

After a while of this, I lifted my hand and- no longer in pain- I slowly pulled myself up onto my feet. I cleared my throat and found my voice had returned. It was like it had never happened at all. I sat on the end of the bed, hugging my arms to stop the shaking.

What just happened?

The pain I could describe away- I had just confused my body by waking up too fast, I decided. But the dream? An image fluttered into my mind: the boy, clutching his bear to his chest.  _Usually we wake up by now!_ He had cried, as everything fell apart around us.

_We._ I thought. That could only mean one thing.

The boy was real.

I didn't know how, I didn't know  _why_  but somehow- against all odds- this child and I were sharing nightmares about the monster behind The Wall. Somehow, someway, I had to find this kid.

The bright red numbers on the alarm clock illuminated the small vial on my nightside.  _Zim's sedative_ , I realized. It hadn't kept me asleep the full eight hours he had promised me, but it  _had_  kept me asleep longer than the nightmare usually lasted. If I tried it again, maybe I would have time to ask the kid for a phone number or an address or even a name- something that would help me find him in the real world!

I needed more.

I picked up my phone. There were a few texts from Gaz which I answered quickly, my hands trembling so hard that it was difficult to pick out the right letters, and then I scrolled through my contacts.

Zim was last on the list.

As the ringing began, I pressed the phone against my ear and tried to slow my panicked, shaking breaths. A familiar voice answered.

"I AM ZIIIIIM! So… yeah. Leave me a message, I guess."

Beep.

I resisted the urge to smack my forehead and continued, as business-like as I could: "Zim? It's me, Dib. Look, this is going to sound weird but I… I was wondering if I could have more of that sedative? I can't tell you why. I just… really need it, okay? You know me. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't serious. Please, Zim, I need your-"

I stopped myself mid-sentence.

What was I saying? I need your  _help?!_ Zim wasn't going to help me! The only reason he gave me the first dose was because the only thing he hated  _more_  than me was owing me a favor. We were even now- so what reason did he have to help?

"Nevermind." I said, forcing coldness back into my voice. "Sorry, I'm… I'm being stupid. Forget I called, okay? See you tomorrow."

I hung up, but I didn't go back to bed. I sat there for a while longer, listening to the crickets chirp outside my window. The boy's words echoed through my mind:  _Run! It's going to get you!_ I tried to sleep but images of that kid in the pajamas, his face pale as the wooden floor pooled with my blood, was burned into the backs of my eyes.

_It's going to get you._

The numbers on the alarm clock lit up the dark room, illuminating the grinning faces and bloodshot eyes plastered on the walls around me. There was something out there, something calling to me.

And I had no idea how to stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Three on Monday!


	6. The Compass Man and The Piñata

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all! I can see there are some new readers following along. Welcome! Don't be scared to say hi! Or maybe since this is a horrorish story you should be scared? Hmm… I'll leave the decision up to you, I guess!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I also do not own an iPhone X. I do own an iPhone [redacted] though. The ocular implants are a bit itchy, but I'm impressed by the holographic- oh, Apple is telling me that was supposed to be a secret. My bad!

**v0x3lr0t:** Dib, the alarms in Dad's labs are going crazy!  
**v0x3lr0t:** I think someone tried to break in!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Hello?!  
**agent_mothman:** wow, sorry! i just woke up now!  
**agent_mothman:**  anything missing?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** I don't think so. Maybe it was just a glitch?  
**v0x3lr0t:** I can't believe it didn't wake you.  
**agent_mothman:** i took something to go to sleep and it really knocked me out  
**agent_mothman:** where were u last night btw?  
**v0x3lr0t:** Hanging with Jeremy.  
**v0x3lr0t:** We went to the midnight release of VP4.  
**agent_mothman:** jeremy?! who is that?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** If I actually saw you every once in awhile, I'd tell you.  
**v0x3lr0t:** Are you going to be home for dinner tonight?  
**agent_mothman:** yeah, i think so!  
**agent_mothman:** working on the project with zim  
**agent_mothman:** i want to get this over with asap  
**v0x3lr0t:** Good. See you tonight.

**XXX**

"Why are we having lunch again?"

Zim didn't even look up from his menu. "Because, Dib-worm, you have clearly proved that you are incapable of working on your own without being sidetracked! GIR, what do you want?"

"A taco." the robot peaked over the edge of the table.

Zim narrowed his eyes. " _Just_  a taco?"

"Uh-huh!"

"You're sure?"

"A huuuuundred percent sure..."

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why we have to eat together." I said, with so much self-restraint that I deserved some sort of medal. "Can't I just meet you later or something?"

He shot me an annoyed glare and I knew an argument was simmering below the surface. We were sitting outside at a table in front of Taco Shack. The air was thick like a heavy blanket and the sunlight warmed my face, making me feel feverish.  _It needs to rain soon._ I thought.

"Need I remind you whose utter  _incompetence_ brought us back to this filthy town?" Zim said.

I bit my lip. He had a point. The only reason we were here again was because I hadn't gotten any interviews yesterday; though, I can't say that I was too sorry about that. The information I had learned from Nny had changed the entire focus of my research. Previously, I was searching for creature that was killing people. Now, I needed information about a being that could warp reality. I had put out a query to The Swollen Eyeball Network about it, but hadn't gotten anything back yet.

"Whatever." I returned to my phone. "Just don't talk to me."

Though I had slept more than usual last night thanks to the sedative, it had left me with a headache that throbbed around my temples and a crankiness that I just couldn't shake. If it wasn't for this project, I'd be home watching a movie and talking to no one, but instead I was here in this city- abuzz with shouted conversations, barking dogs and roaring car engines.

In addition, it hadn't exactly been a restful night. Waking and dreaming danced together in a haze of swirling memories: the monster stabbing me through the chest, the images on my wall writhing in the darkness, the boy hugging the teddy bear to his chest as he shouted to me, the ceiling fan blades slicing the air...

I shook my head and focused on my phone again. There was one thing that I remembered clearly from last night: the boy was real.

And, whoever he was, he had the answers I needed.

I didn't know much about shared dreams besides the fact that they existed. A quick online search had turned up very few results but I had quickly bookmarked several useful articles before running off to Zim's house this morning.  _If I'm going to be stuck here_ , I thought,  _I might as well get some work done_.

The first article loaded in seconds. The tacos were cheap and the tables were dirty, but at least this place had decent Wifi.

 _A shared dream (or a mutual dream),_ the article explained,  _is a type of psychic phenomena in which two people in two separate locations have a dream about the same thing and is also a form of dream telepathy. There are two different forms of this phenomenon. A meshing dream occurs when two people have dreams with similar elements, a thing that could be explained away by simple coincidence. A meeting dream_ -

"The sky is very... err... blue today." Zim remarked.

I stared at him. "It's blue every day?"

"Yes. That is... a good point."

An awkward silence fell between us. I rolled my eyes and went back to reading.

_\- a meeting dream is dream in which two people have the same dream at the same time. Naturally, proving shared dreams are real would open the door to all sorts of psychic phenomena. Not to mention, it raises many interesting questions about the-_

"How has skool been in my absence?" Zim asked.

It took a great deal of effort to suppress a groan. "Fine, I guess."

"It's been two months! And  _fine_  is all you can think of?!"

"I don't know what you want from me, Zim! It's skool! People are jerks and we get tests. Imagine two months of that and there you go! Now leave me alone; I'm doing something important."

He grumbled something incomprehensible and returned to his menu.

_\- subconscious. Do shared dreams take place in the subconscious of one individual and the other party is simply "visiting"? Or is there some kind of collective unconscious where one, two, three or thousands of people could meet if they just knew how to tap into it? And, moving into more metaphysical territory, precisely what force is making such a meeting possible to begin with?_

I was interrupted again, but this time by a waiter with a taco perched on his head like a weird bird.

"Hey Zim." The waiter said, with no enthusiasm at all. "What will it be?"

I stared at the alien in surprise. "Wait, you've  _been_  here before?"

"Every day the past three weeks!" the waiter's voice sounded pained.

Even behind the weird glasses he was wearing, Zim's eyes widened like he had just forgotten something incredibly important back at the house. Then he rounded on the waiter with a snarl. "Lying food drone! Shut your treacherous noise hole and take our orders!"

Before I could ask anything, GIR leapt up onto the table. "I WANT A TACO BURRITO EXPLOSION KABLAMM!"

"Umm," The waiter flipped through his notebook. "That's not on the menu."

"Then put it on the menu, monkey! If that is what my perfectly normal talking dog desires, he shall have it! I will have a bean burrito for myself. Dib-thing?"

"Taco for me too, I guess." After the waiter left, I shot Zim a suspicious look. "So, what's the deal?"

"I have no deals, human!"

"You made a big stink about coming to this town but you've been here already?  _Regularly?!_ Why?" In a lower voice, I added. "What are you up to, Zim? Do you have a new, unsuccessful plan for world domination or something?"

He just returned to studying his menu, even though we had already ordered.

"Zim, come on! What are you plotting this time?!"

A shout drew my attention away. Next to the bus stop, a group of teens were shoving each other around and laughing. I bristled with annoyance. They hadn't really  _done_  anything- not to me anyway- but I found myself resisting the urge to shoo them away like a flock of seagulls on the beach.

I rubbed the bridge of my nose. This crankiness needed to stop.

"Master is on vacation!" GIR leaned across the table to grab a handful of crayons. "We been watchin' the Scary Monkey show and he been eatin' all my ice-cream-"

Zim shoved him back onto the floor and then flashed me his best  _I am normal!_ smile.

I raised an eyebrow. "Vacation?"

"I…" He drummed his claws on the table. "I… am taking a short break from the mission."

"Is that why you're wearing those weird goggles? Are those your vacation glasses or something?"

He glared at me. The goggles were sleek silver, with shiny green lens that just barely disguised Zim's red eyes. He didn't wear the contacts today, but lately there were days where he forgot to wear them at all. I actually had to  _remind_  him for our excursion yesterday.

"These goggles serve a scientific purpose, which is none of your business. And as I was saying, I am taking a break to conduct some research, which is  _also_  none of your business."

"It is my business if it's related to destroying The Earth."

"It's not. It's… personal."

Personal? Since when did Zim do things that were  _personal_? As far as I knew, he didn't have any hobbies/interests/friends outside of our eternal battle for the fate of mankind. Or maybe he did, but I just didn't know about it? My thoughts drifted back to my conversation with Skoodge and I wondered if it was related to that. Though I was curious, I had more important things to worry about right now.

"So how long is this "vacation"-" I broke out the airquotes. "-of yours going to last?"

Here, he hesitated. "I don't know. But this is the reason I wished to eat together today. There is something I must discuss with you." When I didn't object, he continued. "For the duration of my… vacation… I would like to make you an offer. I propose a temporary truce."

"A  _truce_?!"

That was a word I had never thought I'd hear from Zim. But from the lack of a wicked grin and cackling laughter, I could tell he was being serious about it.

"A  _temporary_  truce. I will not harm you or the Earth for the duration of the truce, as long as you cease your attempts to expose me. That will allow each of us to complete this project and attend to our private affairs."

Under normal circumstances, I would have refused this immediately. How could I trust  _Zim_  to not invade the Earth? This truce clearly had to be part of some larger evil scheme! But between my investigation regarding the maniac as well as the bizarre dreams, the idea of not having to worry about Zim was actually a load off my mind.

"Okay, spaceboy." I said,"Truce."

A weird expression of relief washed over his face. He offered me a gloved hand to shake, but I didn't take it. For all I knew, he had an electrified buzzer taped to his palm or something.

The uncomfortable scene was cut short when the waiter returned with our food on a tray. He had barely lowered GIR's dish when the robot dog jumped into the air and snatched it, like a dolphin doing tricks for an adoring crowd at Sea World. Besides the slightest eye twitch, the waiter barely reacted.

"That was fast." I said, as he set our food down on the table.

"Yeah, we keep our food cryogenically frozen. That taco is probably older than your grandpa. Enjoy."

I watched as Zim snapped on a pair of purple gloves- over his black ones- and began to dissect the burrito into tiny triangles. The teens hanging out near the bus stop began to laugh, glancing over in our direction. I couldn't even blame them, so I looked at my phone and tried not to notice.

As I scanned more articles, unwanted thoughts drifted into my mind. Who was that kid in my dream? And why would I be having reoccurring dreams with a kid I had never even met? I knew absolutely nothing about him. For all I knew, he might not be a little kid at all but a fifty year old man with a beer belly living in Delaware. Who really knows?

"This is disgusting." Zim grumbled, interrupting my thoughts, as he finally picked up one of the triangles and popped it into his mouth. "I hate Earth food."

"Then why are you eating it?"

"Nutrition,  _obviously_!" When he swallowed it, it looked physically painful for him. "It is enough to sustain me, but it cannot compare to the cuisine on other planets."

"Well, I'm sorry everything on my planet is inferior to the mighty irken race. Since I'm am such a lesser being in comparison to you- almighty Zim- why don't leave me alone for five minutes?!"

He stared at me in surprise. A comment like that was fairly common from Zim and usually I'd just ignore it- especially since we had just declared a truce- but this time the retort had just sort of slipped out. If it had been anyone else but Zim that I had snapped at, I would have apologized immediately.

But he deserved it.

Y'know, for something.

To avoid the awkward silence, I just went back to reading on my phone. But I really couldn't focus with Zim still staring at me.

"I don't think everything on Earth is inferior." He finally said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was like the equivalent of hearing a giraffe scream. Just weird and uncomfortable. " _What_  did you just say?" I asked, in case I had misheard him.

Now that I was staring at him, he fixed his gaze on the table. "Most things on Earth are primitive and stupid, but there are certain things that… I don't hate… all of the time."

I laughed. Not because it was funny or anything but that sentence coming from  _Zim_ of all people was so bizarre that I couldn't fully comprehend it.

He growled, offended. "Forget it! Your planet is horrible!"

"No, wait, I'm sorry!" I tried to stifle my laughter. "It's just- I can't imagine  _you_ liking anything here!"

"Then you are more oblivious than you realize! There are Earth television shows that I enjoy watching with GIR. And the homework from skool is pitifully easy, but is a good way to keep my mind sharp! Your interwebz provide me with a great deal of entertainment. I also find the fascination humans have with cats and small dogs quite amusing, particularly the squealing sounds they make in such close proximity to these creatures. And churros!"

"Uh, churros?"

"Yeah, churros are neat." Then he paused, drumming his gloved fingers. His claws made a clicking noise, like a huge spider was racing across the table. "I also… find the concept of human  _families_  interesting."

He glanced up. At first, I thought he was staring at me but then I realized he was actually looking at the back of my phone.

On the back of the case, beneath layers of scratches from various tumbles onto sidewalk, was a picture of Dad, Gaz and me at the beach a couple years ago. It was one of his rare days off and he had surprised us by letting us stay home from skool and whisking us off to the ocean instead. I couldn't help but to smile every time I looked at it: Gaz and I squinting at the camera with sunburned faces as Dad, still wearing his goggles and lab coat, did his signature peace sign for the camera.

"You can look at it, if you want." I handed him the phone. Only as I was in the middle of passing it off, did I realize that giving a malevolent alien invader my only emergency communication device was probably not a contender for Best Idea Ever.

But Zim just held it, studying each of our faces in turn. Study isn't a good word, now that I think about it. It wasn't the fanatically determined look that he had when taking extensive notes during class. His expression soft and curious, like he was working on a puzzle that he had all day to finish.

"You have been with your family unit for fifteen years, yes?" He asked, finally tearing himself away from the photo to look at me. "I think it is nice that humans have smaller social units in their society. It is not a bad system."

"Irk isn't like that?"

"No. There are no families, or neighborhoods, or countries on Irk. Divisions would cause conflicting loyalties and feuds that would make the army inefficient. Instead, we are all part of the collective Armada and we serve The Tallest."

"Like bees?" He stared at me and I fumbled to explain. "Uh, you know. They all have different jobs in the hive and they serve their Queen and stuff. It sounds… weird. Like you don't have any free will or anything."

"It is not  _weird_ ; it is simply different. We have pride in our race and every victory of The Empire is  _our_ victory. I have never seen so many humans interested in one thing! You should see us when we celebrate, Dib-thing. The roar of cheers across the planet is deafening!"

Then that strange quiet came again. Nostalgia, perhaps? Taking a nonchalant bite of my taco, I decided to probe a bit further.

"So I guess that's why you're here to conquer Earth, huh? Because your leaders want it for something? Isn't our planet too far away to be useful to them?"

Zim's voice hardened. "I would prefer not to talk about my mission."

"Why? That's your whole reason you're here, isn't it? So can destroy all of our lives and enslave the human race just because your leaders told you to-"

" _Enough!_ " He snapped.

I could see he was getting annoyed, so I decided to stop. But not before adding: "I don't understand you, Zim! You say you like things about Earth, but you're still willing to destroy it! Well, whatever. I guess you're not human so you can't really understand why that's wrong."

I snatched back my phone and started scrolling through articles again. When Zim began to speak, I pretended to ignore him.

"I don't understand everything about your species." He admitted, in a tone that was almost apologetic. It was enough to make me look up at him. "But humans and Irkens are more similar than you think."

"Are you serious?"

"Cereal has nothing to do with it!"

"I said  _serious_  not-"

"Though your race is obviously inferior, humans and Irkens have an innate desire to dominate. We both crave power! The Irken Empire conquers because we  _can_ conquer! We rule because there is no one to stop us! Is human history not the same? Are we not here, on this very soil, because the compass man rode in on a piñata and decided to take it?"

"Err, that's Columbus and the ship was La Pinta, which wasn't his main-"

Zim waved an impatient hand. "INSIGNIFICANT DETAILS! My point is that humans and Irkens both have the spirit of conquerors. We possess the innate desire to have others  _obey_ when we speak. As a superior species, we Irkens are far more-"

"So what's your point? I should be  _cool_ with the fact you want to destroy my entire world? Because we're so  _alike_? I really hope you're not that stupid!"

"That is NOT what I am trying to say!" He growled in frustration, like he was playing a videogame that he was losing horribly at. "I… I think we are not so different,  _that_ is my point. You and I are… similar. Like your family! You are part of a family unit because you all share a genetic similarity, yes?"

"Uh, kind of-"

"Humans who perform similar money-making labors form a profession, humans who share the same interests as each other form a social group, humans who have similar levels of attraction for each other are a couple-"

"So you want to be a couple with me?"

"No! Don't be  _stupid_! I am saying we are similar and… and similarities are the basis for all cooperative relationships on Earth!"

Then he sat back, arms folded. If he had been holding a mic, I'm pretty sure he would have dropped it.

"Okay?" was the only thing I think to say.

He searched my face for a moment and frowned when he saw no understanding there. Then, he sighed- a long, defeated sigh- and returned to poking at his food.

I felt a little sorry for him then, which wasn't something I thought I'd ever feel for Zim. Whatever he was trying to tell me in weird, convoluted way was clearly incapable of being understood by any logical being, but he was  _earnest_  about it at least.

"Churros, huh?" I said, taking a sip of my drink. Zim glanced up in surprise. "Gaz had a great recipe for those that we wanted to try. Now that I know you're such a churro expert, spaceboy, I guess you'll have to judge them for us."

Zim grinned. Not in his usual  _prelude-to-evil-laughter_  way- he really, actually grinned. He was about to say something, when a voice cut him off.

"Got any change, kid?"

The group of teenagers had drifted over to our table while we were talking. The guy who had spoken- their leader, I assumed- loomed over us with a grin. As we looked up at him, the pale sunlight illuminated the uneven, jagged strokes of fuzzy hair on his shaved head. His pale scalp was dotted with crusted red scabs.

"We have no munnies!" Zim waved a dismissive hand at them. "Now begone with you, beef man!"

This earned a round of snickers from the crowd. The leader leaned forward, examining the alien's meal. "That's bullshit. How'd you get that then, huh?" He reached out and poked at Zim's burrito. "Where'd that come from?"

I found myself gripping the sides of my chair. The urge to smack his hand away welled up inside me, but I forced it down.

"Eh?" Zim seemed to remember the plate of food. "My, uh, mom bought them for us! Yes, her dirty pockets are  _filled_  with normal human currency."

"Your  _mom_." He sneered, like he was about to tell a joke but couldn't remember the punchline. So he resigned himself to picking up Zim's soda and turning it around in his hand. "I'm kind of thirsty. Mind if I have some?"

Of course, he was already twisting open the bottle.

I heard the strain in Zim's voice."Not at all. Zim  _loves_ to share. That is a normal human thing to do."

The teen polished off the bottle in one, long gulp and tossed it back onto the table. "You're a cool kid." He slammed a hand on Zim's head and rustled his hair. I saw the briefest glimpse of panic in Zim's eyes as his wig shifted, but if the teen noticed he didn't point it out. "Maybe next time your mom can buy me one too."

Then they wandered away down the sidewalk, laughing about something just out of earshot. The sound made me furious.

"You could have taken them!" I said, still seething.

At some point during our earlier conversation, the waiter must have left the bill because GIR was waving it in Zim's face. "Of course I could have." He looked it over as he spoke. "Why? Do you want me to hurt them?"

"Not hurt just, I dunno, scare them or something! Teach them a lesson!"

"If I used that strategy every time I had a conflict with a human, Dib-thing, I would have exposed my brilliant disguise a long time ago. They are simply not worth the risk."

"Yeah," I said, "I guess you're right."

But anger broiled in my stomach: anger at the kids, but anger also at the fact they just acted like jerks and got  _away_  with it. I could see Zim's logic. If he didn't restrain himself, every kid in our skool- including me- would have been murdered in their sleep by now. But I wished that he had pulled a laser on them or something, just to make them think twice about doing it to someone else.

My encounter with Dillon popped back into my mind. What if, when he had said that I was a future serial killer, I had just picked his hot coffee and splashed it in his face?

" _To put it in more colloquial terms,"_ Nny had said, " _What goes around comes around_."

Karma. That's what he was talking about. Good, ol' karma. Maybe it didn't exist, not naturally. But what if somebody  _enforced_  it, what if somebody dedicated themselves to evening the score?

I found myself both frightened and exhilarated by the idea.

Zim tossed a random pile of cash on the table. I had no idea whether he overpaid or underpaid.

"Come." He rose from his seat. "Since you are such a miserable failure, it has become apparent that I,  _the amazing Zim_ , must take command to salvage this hideous wreckage of a project! Therefore, I have determined that it would be best for you to train with smaller targets."

"Train?" I asked. But he was already marching off, dragging GIR behind him. "Zim, what do you mean  _train_?!"

**XXX**

The local elementary skool was a squat, brick building that reminded of the house built by the last of the three little pigs. I wouldn't have known it was an elementary skool at all except the flag on the front lawn, which depicted a crudely drawn child with a dunce cap being smacked in the face with an encyclopedia. That was the universal symbol for elementary skools, in case you didn't know.

"Don't  _patronize_  me, Zim!" The implied insult made me more furious than it should have. "I'm not going to ask small children about a killer!"

The alien just shrugged. He was trying to look nonchalant, but I could tell he was amused. "You have already failed with adults-"

"If you think you can do better, then go do it yourself!"

"Did you forgot this was a group project, fool? Do you think  _ZIM_  would waste his precious time with you and your colossal head if it was not necessary?!"

Of course, he made a good point. Miss Bitters knew instinctively whether or not partners cooperated for a group project. She could even estimate the  _exact percentage_  of that the work was divided. If that number wasn't roughly a decimal that could be rounded up to 50%, we would be in a danger of failing.

"Now," he placed a clawed hand on my shoulder, and turned me in the direction of a group of young children, hopping on a hopscotch board that had been crudely drawn onto the pavement with chalk. "They shall be your prey."

"Geez, Zim! I'm getting interviews, not wrestling a bear..."

"Minimoose informed me of your abysmal performance yesterday." I glared at the purple moose, who had rejoined us after some sort of scouting mission. He squeaked innocently. Zim shook my shoulder to regain my attention. "This is why you have failed, human! People will ignore you. They will see you as small and will assume you are weak. You must FORCE them to listen!"

"By constantly screaming everything all the time?"

"NO! Well, yes! But also with INCREDIBLE persistence and violent threats!"

"But kids…?"

"There is no shame in choosing weaker targets to train with, little Diblet. That is how our smeets learn and so it is the way I shall teach you. Now, keep your shoulders straight. Do not drag your feet when you approach them,  _march_. That is the way an Irken soldier walks."

Before I could stop him, he wrenched my shoulders back and prodded me forward. I glared back at him, but he simply waved me onward. And so, reluctantly, I began walking.

For some reason, an unnamed dread filled my stomach. I hated playgrounds. When Gaz was too young to go to skool, I used to sit by myself and watch other kids beat the tetherball or clamor across the monkey bars. On occasion, I would spot a smaller group and ask them if I could play too. But after a couple times of getting pushed into the mud or duct-taped to the slide, I realized that it was actually better to be alone. I could get more work done that way.

It was amazing how just being on a playground could make you feel like a lonely little kid again.

I scanned the playground for screaming kids, looking for an approachable target- the lame gazelle in the herd. There was a lone kid by the skool doors, unzipping his backpack. He seemed like a good enough choice.

"Excuse me-!" I started to say, but my voice died in my throat.

Inside the backpack, there was a bear- scuffed up and slightly torn around the edges. As the child lifted him, I could see stitch marks along the stomach where it had been clumsily sewn up. The bear's face, slightly sinister, was gazing at me over the boy's shoulder. I recognized the boy before he even turned around, but when he did I felt the entire world fall away. He had dark hair and, though he wasn't wearing pajamas, he still looked small and fragile.

"You!" I exclaimed.

The boy froze when he saw me and his eyes widened with what could only be recognition. He let out a soft " _squee!_ " of terror and then, seizing his backpack, he started running.

And so did I.

He was running across the blacktop, weaving between other kids, gripping his bear tightly to his chest. Though I was bigger, it was much more difficult for me to navigate the maze of children as deftly and quickly as he could.

"Wait!" I shouted, "I just want to talk to you!"

If the kid heard me, he made no indication of it. In fact, he started running even faster and I realized he was running towards the gates. He scrambled over the metal wire and landed on the sidewalk below. Then he was running away down the street.

In the distance, I heard Zim shouting for me but I ignored him. I hopped the gate- wishing that I had worn my trench coat so it could flutter dramatically behind me- and then ran off down the sidewalk in hot pursuit.

Just as I thought I had lost track of the kid, I heard a yelp. I turned the corner and spotted the kid on the ground, the group of teenagers that had swiped Zim's soda in front of him.

"Watch where you're going, asshole!" The leader sneered. "You're going to pay for that!  _Literally_. I want your lunch money!"

The kid babbled some sort of apology and then glanced over his shoulder at me. His eyes widened in horror and he dashed into an alley. The leader of the group laughed and sauntered in after him.

"It's a dead end, moron! You got any lunch money or- what the fuck?!"

At this point, I had pushed past the teenager and ran inside, to where the kid was staring at the brick wall like a convict who had just realized the police had him surrounded. He spun around to face me.

He looked exactly the way he did in my dreams. His dark hair was flattened on his forehead, with was now glistening with sweat. His little chest heaved with panicked breaths as his eyes darted between me to the group of teens who were still standing at the head of the alley.

"It's me!" I exclaimed, "From the dream, remember?!"

His eyes flickered as he looked me over and for a second, I wondered if he really didn't know who I was. But then, he cried. "You shouldn't be here! Now it's going to find you!"

"What's going to find me?!"

"It! The monster! It's going to send the killer after you! You have to leave now!"

"It's here?" My head was spinning. Of course. If the kid was here, that meant the wall creature was too. It  _had_  to be the creature that Nny wanted information about, the creature that was helping the killer. What else could it be?

 _But what does it want with me?_ I felt myself shivering.

Thousands of questions bubbled up in my mind, but before I could ask any of them, something seized my hair. My head wrenched back and I found myself staring up at the leader of the gang.

"Quit interrupting." He snarled. Then he tossed me aside and I skidded across the hard pavement. Pain screeched across my hand as I tried to break my fall. I ignored it and scrambled back to my feet just in time to see that the kid was surrounded. The leader loomed over him. "Do you have money or not?! I mean, what the fuck does a guy gotta do to buy a soda around here?"

"Leave him alone!" Anger flared up inside me. "He's just a kid!"

But the teen ignored me. He seized the kid by the shirt and shoved him against the wall. "Money.  _Now._ I'm so thirsty I could drink a horse. That's the expression, right?" He glanced behind him and got various shrugs and nods from the group. "Okay, yeah. I'm gonna go with that."

I stood there, helpless.  _It's not_   _fair_ , I thought. And I know what you're going to say: life's not fair, right? Well, that's the whole goddamn point. Life wasn't fair and it should be! Assholes shouldn't be able to pick on kids and get away with it!

At that moment, I decided that I wasn't going to take it anymore. I was a hero, wasn't I? Maybe life wasn't fair, but wasn't it my job to  _make_ it?

 _To put it in more colloquial terms, what goes around comes around_.

Blood trickled down my hand as I squeezed my fists shut. I couldn't even feel it. Static flooded my vision as I seized an empty beer bottle that was lying on the ground and chucked it at the leader. He threw up a hand in self-defense but it was too late- it smashed against the side of his face.

"You little fuck!" He screamed as blood gushed down his cheek. "You could have blinded me!"

I didn't care. As a couple of his friends tried to grab me, I thrashed against them, breaking myself free. I swung at one, hitting him in the face, nearly shattering my hand. I reeled back my fist again but the leader grabbed me around the neck. I clawed at his arm, trying to pull him off, but he tightened his grip. I couldn't breathe.

"You see this?!" He held the jagged neck of the broken bottle to my face. "This shit is sharp! How about I cut you with it so you know what it feels like?!"

I bit his arm but he held fast. I screamed and flailed like an animal caught in a trap. All the while, the glass crept closer to my skin.

That's when we heard first scream.

The leader looked over his shoulder and barely squeaked out, "The fuck-?" before sizzling electricity exploded through the alley. There was a soft thud as something hit the ground. The other guys were yelling now and I tried to look over to see what was happening but the asshole's grip on my neck was so tight I couldn't even move.

One of the teens came running past us only to scream as a thick metal wire shot across the alley and latched onto his neck like a snake closing in on it's prey. He convulsed and fell to the ground, just as I felt myself being whirled around.

The rest of the teens were scattered the concrete floor like discarded toys. The little boy, I realized after a quick scan, wasn't among them. He must have run off and I didn't blame him after what I saw next.

Zim stood in the opening of the alley.

The metal cables from his PAK hovered around him, waiting to strike. He had taken off his wig and goggles, and so there was nothing to disguise his burning red eyes and flattened antennae.

"What the fuck is that?!" The asshole shouted, right into my ear. "What the FUCK is going on?!"

The alien's head snapped in our direction. His eyes flickered to the blood trickling down my face to the jagged edge of the bottle and his PAK legs extended, elevating him into the air so he towered above us.

The glass pressed against my throat. "Don't come closer, I'll-!"

Zim hissed. He  _actually_  hissed. And it wasn't the soft hiss of a snake, but the angry spitting one of cat before it strikes.

I found the pressure around my neck gone. The asshole was backing away, his hands up in surrender. "Okay! Okay man, it's cool! That's your human, didn't know! Jesus, don't-!"

My breath caught in my throat as one of the cables shot out and electrocuted him. The asshole collapsed to the ground. The smell of charred flesh made me gag and I threw a hand against the stone wall of the alley to keep myself from collapsing, only to realize that it was my injured hand. I hugged it close against my chest instead. The adrenaline had evaporated, leaving me shaking.

I heard the familiar  _shink!_  of metal as the PAK legs retracted and within moments Zim was marching up to me. "DUMB FOOL BABY! You could have gotten yourself KILLED with your idiotic, stupid-!" He cut himself off when he caught sight of my face and his expression softened. When he spoke again, his voice was more restrained. "We can discuss this later, I suppose. Go outside and collect yourself while I clean up this mess. I will be out shortly to assess your injuries."

"Are they dead?" I choked out.

"Of course not! Merely unconscious. No need to worry your giant head about them and the horrific brain injuries they will surely have. Now go!"

I usually wouldn't take orders from Zim, but this time I didn't hesitate to obey. Even though the air was humid, it felt good against my face as I stumbled to the mouth of the alley and sunk to my knees against the wall. Minimoose squeaked something at me and even GIR came over, but Zim called them away. Several people walking down the sidewalk glanced over me- shirt torn, bleeding- but not a single one of them stopped. Of course not.

Assholes.

I pressed my back against the brick wall and closed my eyes. What had happened to me back there? It was like I had been possessed by something. I had to get in contact with the SEN quickly. If I didn't get to the bottom of this soon, I wasn't sure  _what_ was going to happen.

While Zim was shouted some orders at GIR and Minimoose, I grabbed my phone. Fortunately, I had most of my SEN contacts on speed-dial. As it rang, I found myself gripping the phone so tightly my knuckles were turning white. I forced myself to relax a little, but anxiety still clenched in my stomach.

A deep voice answered. "Agent Darkbootie."

"It's Mothman," I said, trying to keep my voice steady. It occurred to me that I wasn't distorting my voice, but I didn't care. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be calling but I'm in way over my head. The information I asked for earlier…?"

"I am still doing research, Mothman, but I have found something. I… wasn't sure if I should send it to you."

"Please, Darkbootie! I  _need_  a lead!"

There was static on the other end of the line for one, tense moment before Agent Darkbootie sighed. "There is a case a former agent was investigating years ago, which involved a series of murders with similar paranormal circumstances. The details are fairly gruesome. I will email you the file."

"Thank you."

"The killer has been dead for years, but her house has become a… err…  _delightful_  bed and breakfast. I have included the address for you if you want to take a look. But let me caution you, Mothman. The agent who investigated the last case had a mental breakdown and disappeared. I would not like to see the same happen to you."

I thanked him again and then checked my email. There was a file there, waiting for me. But before I could even look at it, Zim seized my arm.

"Your hand is bleeding." He said, forcing me to open it. Blood was smeared across my palm. "It needs to be disinfected. I have a medical unit in my base-"

"Zim, I don't have time that! I gotta go take care of something."

I had just opened the email to look at the address when Zim wheeled me around to look at him. He gripped the front of my shirt, holding me in place.

"Have you truly gone mad?!" He snarled.

I struggled to speak. "Let me go!"

"I-  _your sworn enemy_ \- disappeared for two months and you didn't even care! And  _now_ you're about to take off without any explanation?!"

"I'm just busy, okay?"

"No, you're out of control! You are meddling with forces far beyond your comprehension, human! I  _told_ you we shouldn't come to this horrible place! It's beginning to affect you!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"As I said earlier, we're  _similar_! I know what you're going through!"

"You  _really_ don't."

"I do!  _That's_ what I've been trying to tell you but for some reason your GIANT HEAD is incapable of comprehending that! Maybe if you'd stop being so STUPID and STUBBORN, I could help you and you could help-"

"Release him now," interrupted a familiar voice, "or you might find your arms separated from your body."

Nny stood there. I hadn't realized how tall he was until I saw him looming over us, like the shadow of an old tree. He smiled. It was a gentle smile that promised nightmares and hellfire.

Zim's grip on me tightened and the fire leapt back into his eyes. "You DARE invade the business of ZIM?!"

"The boy is my business too. Now I will ask you once more to release him or things may become very unpleasant for you."

"Tell him to leave!" Zim ordered me. "Tell him he has no  _right_  to be here!"

This made me angry. I straightened my shoulders, just the way he had told me, and stared Zim straight in the eyes. "No. I have to talk to him about something serious.  _You're_  the one who doesn't have any right to be here. I don't need you!"

 _I don't need your help_ , I meant to say. But I said that instead. I nearly winced at the words even as I said them. Zim didn't hide his reaction. He had always been a horrible liar. Pain flashed across his face.

He stared at me, for once stunned into silence.

This was bad. I could sense a life-changing conversation on the horizon and honestly, I didn't feel like having it. "I've got other things to take care of right now, Zim. We can work on the project tomorrow or something, alright?"

Zim looked furious, more furious than I had ever seen him look. But when he spoke, his voice was cold. "Here!" he forced something into my bleeding hand. I gasped in pain and surprise. It felt cool, like a rock that had washed up onto the beach. "Take it and go with your new friend, human filth! It matters little to me what you do any longer. "

That said, he released me and stomped off, hollering for GIR. Nny and I stood in silence, watching him depart.

"He's an alien." I explained.

Nny nodded, "Now the  _human filth_ comment makes sense. Did he hurt you?"

"Huh? Oh." I lifted a hand to finger the small cut on my face. "No, he didn't. It's... a long story. I'm okay, though. Thanks."

"Hmm." I could tell by the way his eyes flickered over the blood on my face that he didn't quite believe me. "Don't worry about it. We can't tackle the mysteries of the universe if you're dead, can we?" Then, his smile faded. "Have you found anything?"

I hesitated. Technically, agents weren't allowed to show SEN files to anyone who wasn't a part of the network. But Nny promised he would stop the creature and how much longer could I go without having a full night of sleep?

And besides, though maybe it was a bit childish of me to admit, I  _liked_ having somebody that actually believed me. After working alone for so long it was… kinda nice. There was no guarantee Nny wasn't another Dwicky, but somehow I didn't think he would be.

So I told him about the bed and breakfast, and we crowded around my phone to look up the website.

"Charming." Nny muttered, though his tone implied it was anything but. "Isn't it disgusting what people will do for entertainment? They won't kill anyone themselves-  _that's_ too messy- but they'll thrill themselves with just the mere thought of it. Baseless fantasies with no guts to follow through. It makes me sick." Then he gasped in surprise. "Holy shit, they have  _scones_?! I take back everything I just said! Fuck, this place sounds  _great_! Have you ever had a scone?"

"Err, no."

"You're missing out! Anyhow, this looks like a good lead. I'm going to take a look." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You'll be coming, I assume?"

I looked up at him in surprise. "You'd let me?"

"Sure. You're the investigator here, aren't you? But if we're going to travel together, I have only one rule." He gazed at me. "Don't ask me any questions about myself. I understand that goes against your instincts and in any other situation I would encourage you to  _question_ when somebody tells you not to  _question_ , but I really must insist on this point. It's… for your own safety."

"Why? If you told me, you'd have to kill me?"

"You beat me to the punchline." He chuckled, darkly. But then, in a more serious tone, he added. "I am not someone to be trusted, Dib, but in this rare instance I'm going to do the impossible and ask you to trust me anyway. Do you think you could do that?"

That didn't sound like a winning endorsement, I'll admit. And while you might think that since I'm a paranormal investigator that I'm willing to believe anything and anyone, I am a skeptic at heart. All of the good investigators are. You can't find the truth if you're too busy chasing lies. So what Nny was asking of me really did go against years honed instincts. The red flags rose so fast I was afraid one might smack me in the face.

But, for some reason, I found I did trust him. I guess it's reverse psychology. When somebody tells you that they're not to be trusted it makes you trust them anyway because they seem so honest. Maybe I'm a sucker, but I liked him. Nobody had ever believed in me before, so how could I not repay that to the first person that did?

"Okay! You've got a deal!"

I started to offer him my hand to shake when I remembered that I was holding something. I opened my fist.

And there, in the palm of my hand, was a large red vial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks for reading and reviewing! See you on Friday for another happy Dreamtime chapter!


	7. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Dreamtime chapter, another set of terrifying nightmares. Hooray!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own two bunnies. A girl and boy- oh, now I own three bunnies. Scratch that, four bunnies. No wait, five bunnies! Six bunnies? Seven bunnies, eight bunnies...

_The Wall was alive._

_I watched the thin crack in The Wall spread like ink from the tip of a pen. As I pressed my palm against it, I felt something- or thousands of somethings- pulsing against the warm concrete._

_"Don't tell me to run." I said. "I won't leave."_

_No reply._

_"Look, I'm a paranormal investigator. I'll get to the bottom of this one way or another, but it would really help if you tell me everything you know."_

_No reply._

_I glanced over my shoulder. The little boy stood behind me; his arms were tightly crossed around the bear, like he was trying to hug himself._

" _Well?" I asked._

" _You can't fight it." His voice was soft and hoarse. Clutching the bear even closer, he added. "Just go as far away as you can, okay? If you're out of it's reach, it might give up on you!"_

" _What happens if I leave?" I ignored the cracking concrete behind me. "This monster is after you too, isn't it? You'll be alone if I'm not here. Is that what you want?"_

_The little boy didn't speak, but the dark circles under his eyes said everything for him. Meanwhile, the crack in The Wall widened by degrees, grinning at us with a gaping, toothless mouth._

_He looked away. "I shouldn't have told Pepito…"_

" _Who's Pepito?"_

_The little boy just shook his head and sniffled, blinking back tears._

_Now that we were so close to each other, it occurred to me that the boy really_ _ **was**_   _little- about six or seven years old, if I had to guess. A smile flickered across my lips as I pictured Gaz at that age, holding my hand as we crossed the street to skool. Dad wasn't around much when we were growing up and so, even though I was only a year older than my sister, I did everything he should have been doing. I packed her lunch, helped her with her homework and checked for monsters under her bed. It was an unspoken big brother promise; I would always take care of her._

_Gaz didn't need anyone now. She could handle herself, as potential bullies often realized after she knocked their teeth out. But every time one of Zim's schemes threatened to destroy the planet, I couldn't help but to think of the Gaz in my memories- that little girl with the bow in her hair, clinging to my coat._

_I knelt down to the boy's level. "Hey."_

_His eyes lifted to meet mine, with slow reluctance._

" _You may not have heard of me, but I've saved the world dozens of times." I flashed him my practiced, confident 'Sole Defender of Earth' grin. "And I'm going to do it again. I don't know what this thing is or what it wants but I have a lead now!"_

" _But-"_

" _You're not going to face this thing alone, okay? It won't win."_

_The Wall cracked behind me and the pattering of millions of tiny feet flooded the room. The boy backed away in terror, his chest heaving with fast, panicked breaths._

_I kept my voice calm. "It won't hurt you."_

_His terrified eyes darted to meet mine. Even as the somethings crawled up my body, their needle sharp claws tearing through my skin- I didn't look away._

_"Not while I'm around." I promised._

_Everything went dark._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! In the next chapter, Dib and Nny will be embarking on a road trip. What could possibly go wrong?


	8. An Eye for an Eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing! In this chapter, Nny and Dib embark on a road trip! It's a good thing that Nny is a rational, responsible adult, right? Haha... oh, wait. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do not own a vegetable spiralizer. (I do own a vegetable spiralizer. I just wanted to use the word 'spiralizer' three times in a paragraph. I'm sorry that I lied to you.)

**v0x3lr0t:** Are you coming home soon?  
**v0x3lr0t:** We should figure out what we want for dinner.  
**v0x3lr0t:** I vote pizza.  
**agent_mothman:** no time for PIZZA gaz!  
**agent_mothman:** i have a lead!  
**agent_mothman:** nny is going to drive me and we're going to investigate!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Wait, who is driving you?  
**agent_mothman:** nny! i didn't tell u?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** No. I haven't seen you in days…  
**agent_mothman:** oh he's this guy i met  
**agent_mothman:** he's neat  
**agent_mothman:** anyway he thinks the case is paranormal too so we're gonna check it out!  
**v0x3lr0t:** You're going to get in a car with a total stranger?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** That's stupid even for you!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Please tell me that Zim with you!  
**agent_mothman:** no! zim's not my babysitter!  
**agent_mothman:** he's an evil alien geez  
**v0x3lr0t:** You're an idiot!  
**agent_mothman:** don't worry, nny is cool!  
**agent_mothman:** u think i would srsly get in a car with someone i don't trust?  
**agent_mothman:** i'm not a little kid  
**v0x3lr0t:** Dad is going to be pissed.  
**agent_mothman:** i don't care!  
**agent_mothman:** this guy is helping me more than dad ever has!  
**agent_mothman:** if i told dad what was going on he'd just call me insane!  
**agent_mothman:** nny gets it  
**agent_mothman:** nobody has ever believed me b4, u know?  
**v0x3lr0t:**  Nobody? Really?  
**agent_mothman:** come on gaz  
**agent_mothman:** u know what mean  
**v0x3lr0t:** No, I don't.  
**v0x3lr0t:** I can't even deal with you right now. I'm turning off my phone.  
**v0x3lr0t:** Good luck being murdered or whatever.  
**agent_mothman:**  gaz i'm sorry!  
**agent_mothman:** I didn't mean it like that!  
**agent_mothman:** gaz?

**XXX**

I awoke with a gasp.

"Are you alright?" Nny asked, with an edge of concern in his voice.

I couldn't answer. I felt hot. Stifled. The sunlight through the windshield fried me like an ant under a magnifying glass, and I lurched forward to lower the sun visor. As I swung it down, it unhinged and crashed to the floor.

"I'm sorry!" I choked. My entire body shivered and I gripped the seat to keep myself steady. The throbbing pounded behind my eyes, like someone trying to break down a door. "I didn't mean to-!"

Nny shrugged. "This car is a piece of junk anyway. Want me to pull over?" I shook my head. I already looked like a stupid child. "Why don't you open the window? Maybe some fresh air would help."

Those few seconds rolling down the window felt like a million years. I rested my head against the door and let the cool air drench my face. The highway stretched before me, rolled out like the red carpet. It occurred to me this was my first time on an extended car-ride. When Dad travelled for his speeches, we usually flew in the lab's private jet. I hated the jet, though I did appreciate being able to get ice cold water whenever you wanted- a luxury I didn't have at the moment.

So I took deep breaths of the rushing air and I tried to slow the pounding in my head. I had only taken a little bit of Zim's sedative, so at least my heart wasn't hurting this time.

"Nightmare?" Nny asked, from what sounded like a million miles away. This time, I nodded. "Do you have those often?"

"Lately, yeah. I've been stressed out, I guess. Sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

As I rested there, I absently picked at the peeling silver paint on the door. It was an old car. Nny wasn't sure how old it was or how long he had it, and apparently the only way to get it started was for him to get out and shriek curses at it while banging on the hood. It started up every time, but I was still nervous it might just die in the middle of the road. We were on an endless stretch of highway now and it would be a long walk to anything even remotely resembling a town.

Once I felt okay, I settled back into my seat and glanced at the clock. We had been driving about two hours, so the bed and breakfast had to be close.

Nny guessed my thoughts. "I suppose we had better take a look at those files?"

We had both been putting it off, perhaps because it wasn't exactly happy reading. And I suppose, if I wanted to be honest with myself, I was afraid of what I might find.

But we couldn't postpone it any longer.

"Well, let's see." I began, cupping the phone to keep it still. The car shuddered making it difficult to read the small, wobbling text. "They were written by an agent who was studying the case but then disappeared under mysterious circumstances."

"As agents investigating cases with mysterious circumstances so often do. Go on."

"The killer was only a young girl when she started. She was quiet, but otherwise seemed normal." There was a yearbook photo of a girl with curly black hair and bright blue eyes. It surprised me how normal she looked; she could have been a kid in my class. "She liked to keep to herself because she was bullied a lot. Sounds like kids back then were as awful as they are now!"

"And yet, the human race keeps propagating. Hey, have you ever wondered if a baby would fit in a blender? I mean, I think they're about the right size." He caught me staring at him. "Err, no? Just… wondering."

"Um, okay. So she used to draw and stuff, and the drawings are what attracted the agent to case. It looks like there are a couple files attached."

I opened them, one by one, and a startling procession of images marched across my screen. A huge shadow, a mass of faces, a tangle of tentacles and teeth, reaching... Her drawing ability was better than mine, but I recognized them right away.

They were the same images that were strung along my bedroom wall.

I must have been quiet for too long because Nny glanced at me. "Dib?" he asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," I took a deep breath steady myself. "Sorry. I'll save these for later. You can take a look at them when you get out of the car. So anyway, shortly after the last picture, she took an ax and killed her father. Then her mother. Then her younger sister. When the neighbors asked, she told them that they all left on vacation. That's when her month-long murder spree began. Some of the victims were the kids who picked on her and others were just random people in wrong place at the wrong time. But every single one of her victims was drained of their blood. They never found out why she wanted it, but there were several full jars in her room." When Nny said nothing, I continued. "I don't get it. Why store the blood, though? What could she have been using it for?"

Nny's face darkened. "I might have an idea."

"What is it?"

He shook his head. "Let's see if I'm right first. I suppose there are other similarities?"

"Yeah. Witnesses couldn't remember what she looked like, the case kept getting shuffled in police paperwork. The single photo that was taken of her by a street photographer came out blurry and distorted."

"Exactly the same, I can't believe it." He shook his head. "All of this time... I thought I was crazy. I am crazy, of course, but this is something more. Something bigger. I..." He took a deep breath, "Well, I don't want to get my hopes up until we confirm it. How did she kill herself?"

"How do you know-?"

"Because she couldn't get caught, so she must have killed herself. How?"

"She hung herself from a tree."

"Hung herself." He laughed, hollowly. "That takes guts. More guts than I have. It only took her a month to make that choice, while I have been saying it for years with no action."

I watched him, gazing out at the road and noticed for the first time how unhealthy he looked. His skin was a sallow yellow and his eyes had a haunted look, like he had seen far too much but just couldn't close them.

"You've thought about doing that?" I ventured.

Though I expected him not to answer, he said: "I don't think about much else." Then, noticing the pity in my eyes, he smiled. "I'm too much of a coward though, Dib. Don't waste your concern on me. There are far more deserving subjects."

I nodded and struggled to find something to say, but I couldn't think of anything. Suicide was something I didn't understand. Despite all of my setbacks and embarrassments, I never actually thought about ending it all. It seemed counterproductive to me. Who else would stop Zim? Who would save this stupid planet if I wasn't here?

_I don't get that_. Gaz told me once.  _If Zim won, you'd have the last laugh. Everyone would know that you were right._

I had brushed her comment aside. Of course that thought had occurred to me too, but letting Zim win? No.

Not  _ever_.

Even if sheer, stubborn pride was my reason for continuing, then so be it. We had made an unspoken agreement the first day he walked into my class and I accused him of being an alien. I will destroy him or he will destroy me.

There is no other way it could end.

Nny straightened up. "We're here."

**XXX**

Imagine a typical haunted house in a horror movie. You know what I'm talking about. Paint just barely clinging to the walls. Creaky stairs leading up to a decaying porch. Boarded up windows.

This house looked nothing like that.

It was little white cottage which, if photographed, would make a cheerful postcard. I don't know why but the sight of flowers in the windowsill and the happy "welcome" sign gave me chills as I got out of the car. Maybe it was the grey clouds that loomed in the distance.

"I hope it rains." Nny slammed the door shut, making the entire car rattle. "Oh fun fact, you won't get a cold from a rainstorm! You might get hypothermia and freeze to death, though."

"Err, I don't know if I would call that a fun fact."

" _Funner_  fact, if you get struck by lightning your eyes will pop out of your head! I'm not really sure if that's true, but isn't it neat?" Then he turned his gaze to the house. "Welp, let's go."

A bell jingled to signal our entrance. The man at the desk barely glanced up from his phone as we approached.

"Excuse me," I began, wishing I had a badge to flash.  _Agent Mothman here._ "We were wondering-"

"Shh!" The man waved at hand me.

A dark look shot across Nny's face like lighting. Before I could stop him, he slammed his hands on the counter. "My friend was talking to you, shithead!"

"This is important!" The man shouted back, "This puppy and this kitten are friends! Look! They touched noses and I MISSED it! Thanks, assholes! Now I have to spend TWO SECONDS rewinding! TWO SECONDS!"

The man glared at Nny but Nny, to my surprise, began to smile.

"Dib," he gave me a gentle pat on the head. "Do you mind waiting outside?"

I looked up at him, puzzled. "Uh, okay."

The man's shrieking curses cut off as the screen door swung shut behind me. As I sat on the porch steps, watching the grey clouds roll in on the horizon, my thoughts drifted back to my brief meeting with the kid.

I couldn't get his horrified expression out of my head. He had looked at me the same way he had looked at the monster behind the wall. It was look a child had that just before diving under the blankets to shut out the world.

It was the look of hearing something  _thump!_ beneath the bed.

I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the humid air, warming my skin. But for some reason, I was still shivering.

It felt like years until Nny called me back in. When I opened the door, he was perched on the counter, his long legs dangling like a child sitting on a sunny boardwalk. He took a handful of mints from a bowl and shoved a couple in his mouth.

"The master key." He said, tossing it in my direction.

I barely caught it. "Where's the clerk?"

"He's…. taking a nap. But he said we could look around as much as we want. Except that closet  _right_  there. Don't go in there." Then, popping another mint into his mouth, he added: "He also said we could have these."

"The whole bowl?"

"Generous, right? Anyhow, Mr. Investigator, what do you propose we do first?"

To be honest, I had never led my own investigation- with the exception of my lone crusade against Zim- and I wasn't really sure where to start. So I tried to recall what the ghost-hunting team on Mysterious Mysteries often did. Unfortunately, they mostly huddled around computers and listened to static for a couple hours. I guess that was pretty useful for hunting ghosts, but would it work for an abomination of nature?

_You're not a paranormal investigator, Dib!_ I could almost hear Zim's voice in my head, sneering.  _You're a child! You can't even BEGIN to understand what you're dealing with!_

A slight wave of panic washed over me. I really didn't know what I was doing. I didn't even know what this creature was let alone how to-

"If you don't mind my input, I might have a suggestion." Nny hopped off the desk. "I know quite a lot about serial killers. It's… err… a  _hobby_  of mine. I think we should take a look at the girl's room first."

"But the police-!"

"Probably removed most of the interesting toys, I know. But don't forget we're looking for something different than they were. Those fools wanted the puppet.  _We're_  searching for whatever had been pulling the strings."

Chills prickled my skin, like little tiny sewing needles threaded with impossibly thin twine. I rubbed my arms.

"Okay." I said, "Let's check out her room."

From what I read on the website, there were four bedrooms in the house belonging to each member of the family. The mother, who was killed as she sat in her bed knitting. The father, who died trying to crawl towards the door. The sister, whose bloodied stuffed bear was still on display. And, of course, the killer herself.

I never thought I would find a serial killer's bedroom less frightening than the other choices.

As I walked in, I found that I now understood Zim's comments about the city:  _it's like a horrible stink!_ There was no actual smell, besides that the candle burning on the dresser. But there was something in the atmosphere that I didn't like, something that made me want to turn back around and take a gulp of fresh air. I settled for opening a window instead.

Besides the metaphorical stink, the room looked normal for a little girl. A menagerie of glass-eyed dolls watched us as we entered, piled on the creamy white bedspread. Nny cast a curious look around, lingering near the door- a lost shadow against the flowery wallpaper.

"A little girl." He shook his head. "Why choose a child? What could it have possibly seen in her?"

"We don't know how it operates." I reminded him, as I opened a drawer. It appeared to be empty but I felt along the bottom, just in case. "I mean, we don't have to assume that it's developing a seed that already exists. Maybe it's imposing its will on a completely random, innocent victim?"

"Or perhaps both. Perhaps, it works from the outside and the inside until its victim just  _cracks_."

_Is that what it is trying to do to me?_ I realized I was holding my breath, so I released it.  _Relax_ , I told myself. I had to stop jumping to conclusions.

"Well, you know what would solve this?" I lightened my voice. "If we found a conveniently placed diary riiiiight-" I opened a random drawer and peered inside. A fuzzy pink notebook… was not there. "Umm, never mind."

"A die-ary." Nny mused as he leaned against the wall. "Yes, you're onto something. If she was been driven insane by some horrible  _thing_ , she would have found some way to express herself. Some channel for her thoughts and emotions, which were rapidly inflating beyond her limit."

Then he sprung a switchblade from his pocket and stabbed the stuffed rabbit that sat on her pillow. He slit open its stomach and started ripping out the stuffing.

I ran over. "What is it?! What did you find?!"

"Huh?" He glanced up, a stray piece of fluff clinging to his hair. "Oh, sorry! I just had an unrelated urge to stab the shit out of that bunny. Did you  _see_  the way it was looking at me?! That smug little bastard!" Then, almost sheepishly, he added: "What was I talking about before?"

"A channel for her thoughts and emotions, which were rapidly inflating…?"

"Right! Yes. A channel." He jerked his knife in a vague direction over his shoulder. "Did you see the paintings?"

That's when I turned around and beheld the huge mural covering the wall behind me. And when I say huge, I mean  _huge_! Seriously, wow! How did I miss it? It expanded behind the dresser, taking up so much of the wall that it had began to creep onto the other walls like a wine stain seeping across a tablecloth. In the center, there was a picture of a house with a tree growing through it, it's pink walls glimpsed between the dark branches like a bird within the bars of a cage. Around it was a confusing purple mass of faces, faces with hollow eyes and long screaming mouths and reaching tentacles.

It was beautiful. It was horrible.

But the scary thing was that it was  _familiar_.

My investigator instincts started to kick in. This needed to be documented. I took out my phone and started taking pictures. "I'll blow these up later, so we can study the details and see if there's anything we missed. Hey, what do you think about that house in the middle?"

Nny lifted a hand to touch it. "I… don't know."

"It must be symbolic." I fished out my notebook. "The house symbolizes safety and normalcy, while the trees represent the paranormal. See how the branches are going through the house? She feels her normal life is being invaded by the-"

"It's her basement."

"Umm, what?"

He ran a finger down the cheek of one of the faces, like he was drawing a tear. "No offense, I like your idea too. But see how the house is at the center of everything? That's where it is. That's where she goes to when she does the horrible things it makes her do. It's the source of her madness, it's the place where she hides. A labyrinth of illness and pain, deep below floorboards."

"Good theory, but where are you getting a basement specifically…?"

"Err, I guess it doesn't have to be a literal basement. But that's the role it represents and we need to find it. There  _must_  be a clue in the picture."

We stared at it for a long time, like children pouring over a Where's Wally book who were hoping Wally was going to crawl out of the page like the girl from The Ring. But Wally never came. We just stared and stared and until the swirling tentacles and faces seemed to form patterns that weren't there anymore if I blinked my eyes.

Then, it hit me. It was so obvious that I couldn't believe I didn't figure it out earlier.

"It's a house in the trees." I said.

Nny looked at me, confused.

I grinned. "A treehouse!"

**XXX**

"So then Zim led the hamster into the ferris wheel and launched it into space." I hoped over a twisted root. "It was frustrating for  _me_  because I could have exposed him on, like, two separate occasions but what could I do?! I mean, what the point of saving the world if it was going to be trashed by a giant hamster, huh?! And all I got for the whole thing was to be tossed into the crazy bucket! It's really not fair! That wasn't even as bad as the time I had to steer a bus away from a wormhole containing a room with a moose-" Then, I paused. "Err, I'm talking a lot aren't I?"

This probably won't come as any surprise to you, but I talk a lot when I'm nervous. The treehouse was my suggestion and if I was wrong, we would waste a lot of time wandering around the tick infested woods when we could be following other leads.

"I don't mind." Nny kept his eyes fixed on the path ahead. Being taller than me, he was having a difficult time avoiding branches. "Usually there's nothing for me to listen to but the voices in my head and  _they_ aren't always pleasant company."

"So you spend a lot of time alone?"

"Don't worry, I have  _diversions_." I didn't ask, as per our agreement, but he gave me an aside glance. "I'm an artist. Have you ever heard of Happy Noodle Boy?"

"I don't think so."

"Good. It's garbage. I just draw those comics for money, honestly. But a long time ago, I think I used to be a  _good_  artist." He sighed, ducking under another branch. "But even semi-functional insane people need to make a living, I guess. Not everyone can be like your father, with grand visions of a utopian future."

"Wait, you know my dad?" I stopped walking. This gave him a chance to catch up.

"Not personally, but I've seen the self-proclaimed savior of humanity on television. I recognized you in the coffee shop, actually. You play the role of the dutiful child quite well. If I didn't know better, I would think you actually bought into that stupidity."

Of course, I did think it was stupid but I found myself getting a bit defensive. "If you think it's stupid, why do you watch it?"

"I'm not referring to your father." He must have caught my tone because he stopped walking too. "I'm just talking about all of the pomp and circumstance; that's all. It seems hypocritical celebrating the fact that your father has dedicated his entire life to bringing wonderful things to a species that doesn't even deserve it. Why bless the same creatures who invented spray-on tans and segways? You… can't tell me you haven't thought the same thing?"

In truth, I did think that- way too often, to be honest.

"My dad is a good person." I argued and I can honestly say that was true. Maybe he wasn't always the best dad, but that had nothing to do with his morality. He just wanted to help people. The idea of pulling himself away from that work, even for his kids, would be too selfish. People always thought I would be the same way and were disappointed when I became more interested in paranormal investigation than developing a cure for cancer.

_But Professor Membrane says you're so intelligent! You are going to waste your talent on a hobby?_

Nny glanced at me. "I'm sorry, I… can see your father is a difficult subject for you. I forget to consider other people's feelings sometimes. Err, I mean, I don't often  _talk_ to other people so…" His apology trailed off.

I put him out of his misery. "It's okay." We continued walking. The smell was so thick it felt like I was wading through mud. It took all of my effort to focus on the conversation. "I don't talk to people much either. Well, I  _talk_  but people don't listen."

"People don't have common sense, that's why." Nny said, giving up at the whole "dodging branches" things and slashing at them his knife instead. "If they did, they would see you are right about that obnoxious alien. Christ, he's green!"

"Right!" I blurted out. "He doesn't even try! It makes me so mad sometimes I just... it's just..." The feeling was overwhelming now, and I struggled to put together words. "It's just not...  _fair_. I save the world over and over and he just keeps getting away with it! It's… it's so frustrating…"

The last time I had seriously chased Zim was when he had disappeared for a month and I pursued him into space. You know how that went.  _Everyone_ knows how that went. You and pretty much  _everyone in the universe_  saw me- fat, disgusting and acne pocked- waddling around on the television set.

You didn't realize that was me did you?

That was because I had learned from my mistakes. Why did I bother devoting everything in my soul to stopping Zim when it was just going to be used against me? After a brief period of locking myself in my room, I decided that it just wasn't worth it. I took a shower every day. I jogged three times a week. I changed my clothes every once in awhile. I wore deodorant. I stopped talking in class as much. I didn't even flinch at Zim's public pronunciations of his normalcy anymore.

Of course I still saved the world, but not with the intensity I had before. What the point of pouring your heart and soul into something if people were just going to laugh at you? It wasn't fair.

Nny wildly slashed at a couple branches, even the ones that weren't in front of him. "There's no reason to despair, Dib. I know your loud friend's luck is about to change."

"How?"

"Intuition." He twirled the knife in his hand. "My intuition is always accurate. It's also obsessively sharpened and ridiculously well polished. Mark my words, Zim will get exactly what he deserves."

"You mean he's going to be autopsied while strapped to a table?!" I exclaimed. "And then he'll beg for mercy and admit that humans are way better than his stupid alien race while his guts spill out everywhere?!"

"Err, that's oddly specific…"

"I might I've thought about it once or twice." I neglected to mention the detailed drawings shoved into the back of my social studies workbook. Or the ridiculously descriptive short story. Or the 3D rendering I had made in Minecraft.

"Allow me to impart some wisdom on you, young Dib." By the way he said this, I wondered if he was about to sit down on a tree stump and pull out a storybook. "This world is overpopulated with assholes. There are some good people here and there, but on the whole humanity is undeserving of this planet, and yet we go on acting like existence is some sort of goddamn  _inalienable_  right. And why shouldn't we think that? The universe obviously hasn't taught us to think otherwise. Consider your classmates and the horrible way that they treat you. Have they ever once received any comeuppance for it?"

I knew the answer before I even said it. How many times did Zita call me crazy? How many times did Chunk trip me in the hallway? How many times did the entire class point and laugh at me? And what did Miss Bitters ever do about it? Nothing. Sometimes during math, she even let them jab me with a stick if she was impressed by a good answer to a difficult problem.

"If there is a God," Nny continued, "it's obvious he hasn't been doling out justice the way he should. People are cruel and stupid and there are no consequences for anything. But just remember that you don't  _have_  to take it. Why don't you just go ahead and be cruel right back? Why don't you teach them the lessons that the universe hasn't been enforcing?"

"You sound like her."

"What?"

"The girl." I said, "After she killed her mother she wrote  _an eye for an eye_  on the wall. Apparently, her mom used beat her with a wooden paddle when she was bad. That's what she bludgeoned her to death with."

"An eye for an eye, hmm? I suppose that's a good philosophy, but I think it's a tad too limiting. An eye for a larynx, a still-beating heart and an appendix would be more my motto. Ah," He came to a stop. "You were right."

I felt the presence of the treehouse before I even laid eyes on it. It was so decrepit, I wondered if it wasn't a treehouse at all but just a tiny house that had been slammed into a tree by some sort of massive tornado and was never reclaimed.

We stood there, side by side, staring up at the treehouse. The feeling overwhelmed me and I couldn't convince my limbs move forward. I glanced at Nny and was surprised to find he had crossed his arms, like he was trying to keep out the cold.

"I'll go first." He offered, but with great difficulty. Did his skin look paler or was there just a trick of the setting sun?

"It's okay." I said, "I'll go. You might be too tall to go inside anyway."

Obviously relieved, he managed a nod. For some bizarre reason, seeing him afraid gave me courage. That's the weird thing about the world. We all try so hard to be brave because we think nobody else is scared. But maybe if we all just pretended a little less, we would realize that we're all terrified and then we can be braver than ever.

I tested my weight on rickety little ladder. When it didn't break, I began to climb. There was a dark hole above me, like universe had reversed and I was climbing up towards an black hole. The sensation was dizzying but I pushed through it and finally emerged in a small wooden room, lit by the red rays of the sun that filtered through the wood.

The back wall of the treehouse, the one leaning against the trunk of the tree, had a large crack winding down the middle. The wall was dark like it was covered in black paint.

Of course it wasn't paint.

"Dib!" Nny was calling me from somewhere, far away. "Are you alright?"

I wanted to answer, but I felt like I was going to vomit instead. I wrenched my eyes away from the wall and found words on the floor, barely arm's length away from me, written in messy scarlet letters.

_an eye for an eye will make the whole world blind_

That was the last thing I saw before I passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dreamtime on Friday!


	9. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another Dreamtime chapter. It makes even less sense than the last one!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own all of Invader Zim on DVD though! But for some reason, I refuse to watch it on DVD and am instead unreasonably angry at Netflix and Amazon Instant Video because they don’t have it for free streaming? Why? I mean I know I can watch it whenever but WHY?!

_I fell backwards into an abyss._

_Images flashed past me. Nny stroking the crack in the bloody wall. The little boy, hiding beneath his covers as the setting sun cast eerie shadows across the room. Zim’s PAK being wrenched off by a metal arm. Gaz sitting at the kitchen table, alone._

_Then came the words…_

_AN EYE_

_…and there was light above me…_

_FOR_

_…I reached for it but it grew smaller and smaller until it…_

_AN EYE_

_… should fit in my hand but even if I could grab it…_

_MAKES THE_

_… it would slip from my fingers like the…_

WHOLE

_… string of …._

WORLD

_... a balloon._

_BLIND_

_I crashed to the ground and The Wall loomed over me. The force of my impact sent a crack travelling up dark, matted surface and I knew if it broke it would split the entire room apart._

“Dib!”

_Something emerged, but I clasped my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t care what it looked like anymore!_

“Fuck, are you alright?! Say something!”

_I can’t do this! Please, someone get me out of here! Help me!_ _I heard the sound of breathing and I opened my eyes as pale face with black holes for eyes, screamed at me._

“WAKE UP!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter five on Monday. Thanks for reading and reviewing!


	10. Similarities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing, everyone! So in this chapter, Nny and Dib are back from their adventure and it's time to catch up with Zim! I wonder what that guy has been up to? Probably just watching TV or something...
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own a mysterious Pokemon game that I bought from old man at a garage sale! Apparently it used to belong to his son who played it for weeks on end before disappearing into woods late one night a kitchen knife while humming Lavender Town song. That's safe to play, right? I'm sure it's fine...

 

 **v0x3lr0t:** For the love of God, just call Zim already.  
**agent_mothman:** gaz!  
**agent_mothman:** i thought u weren't talking to me?  
**v0x3lr0t:** I'm not.  
**v0x3lr0t:** But Zim keeps calling the house.  
**v0x3lr0t:** It's annoying.  
**agent_mothman:** what does he want?  
**v0x3lr0t:** I don't know.  
**v0x3lr0t:** He said something about wanting to destroy you or whatever.  
**agent_mothman:** Or whatever?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Yeah, I stopped listening.  
**v0x3lr0t:** I think he just wants to know if you got home alright. Tell him you're not dead so I can go to sleep.  
**agent_mothman:** fine. i will.  
**agent_mothman:** we need to talk anyway. if this partnership is going to work out, we have to communicate better, y'know?  
**v0x3lr0t:**...  
**agent_mothman:** okay WOW  
**agent_mothman:** that sentence came out really weird  
**agent_mothman:** haha sorry  
**agent_mothman:** so...r we ok, gaz?  
**v0x3lr0t:** No, we're not.  
**v0x3lr0t:** It's not fair, Dib. You get mad at Dad for being obsessed with work and now you're doing the same thing.  ****  
v0x3lr0t: I just want us all to have a stupid dinner together.  
**v0x3lr0t:** Is that so much to ask?  
**agent_mothman:** i'm sorry gaz, but this is important!  
**agent_mothman:** i need to stop this thing now b4 more people get hurt!  
**agent_mothman:** u get that, rite?  
**v0x3lr0t:** Everything is "the fate of the world" with you.  
**v0x3lr0t:** It would be great to have a dad and a brother who aren't too busy trying to save the world that they forget to spend some time with the important people in it.  
**agent_mothman:** listen i'm close to breaking this case I promise!  
**agent_mothman:** i will be home for dinner tomorrow ok?  
**v0x3lr0t:** Like I haven't heard that one before. I'm going to bed.  
**agent_mothman:** gaz please…  
**agent_mothman:** i'm sorry!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Goodnight, Dib.

**XXX**

A face hung over me.

 _No!_ I lashed out at it but something grabbed my wrists. Panic swept through my body. I thrashed and screamed as my arms were wrenched backwards. I tried to kick but there was a heavy weight on my legs.  _No!_

"Dib, calm down! It's me!"

Nny pinned my wrists to the ground, his cold hands burning my skin like manacles made of ice. Beyond him, I could see the black leaves on the trees swaying in the wind and glimpses of pink and purple. I closed my eyes. The dirt felt cool against the back of my neck and I tried to focus on it as my breathing returned to normal.

"There we go _._ " I heard the sigh in Nny's voice. "That's it, just calm down. It can't hurt you anymore, alright?"

The pressure from my chest disappeared, as did the grip on my wrists. When I opened my eyes, Nny still knelt over me. The shadows around his eyes looked like holes in the fading light.

I wanted to ask questions. What happened? Did I pass out? Did he save me from hitting the ground? Did he climb into the treehouse and see what was in there?

But all I said was: "What  _is_  this thing?"

My voice echoed through the quiet woods, like everything in the world had been waiting for this very moment.

"I wish I knew," Nny said. And after a pause, he added: "But if it's helpful, I don't think it's a moose." I knew that was a joke, but I couldn't muster up the energy to laugh. When I ventured a glance at him, I could see he was ripping apart a long piece of grass he had plucked from the ground. "You've seen it, haven't you? In your dreams...?"

I nodded as I sat up. "I should have told you, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're entitled to your secrets. And if we're being honest with each other, I have a confession as well."

I waited as he sprinkled the torn pieces of grass around like confetti.

"I…" He hesitated. "I used to see it too. Then I started living a nightmare instead of just having them."

I looked at him. I mean, I  _really_  looked at him. He was impossibly thin- more of a stick figure than a person- with large circles around his eyes, dark like fresh bruises. How long had it been since he last slept? Days? Weeks?

He closed his eyes. "It pounds against the back of my skull like a dull ache. I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to last. It's taken almost everything from me, Dib. But now I have hope."

"You do?"

"Yes, thanks to you. You brought me here and showed me that this creature isn't a figment my imagination and that I'm not  _entirely_  crazy. Now I know it's real. And if it's  _real,_  then it  _exists._  And if it  _exists,_ there must be a way to make it  _stop_  existing. Not to brag, but if anyone can figure out to kill something, it's me."

"You really think you can stop it?"

"Yes, I do."

"And the homicidal maniac? You'll stop him too?"

Nny paused for a long time. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and the words came slowly. "If all goes well, I promise I will stop him  _forever_."

Relief overwhelmed me. It was nice not to have the fate of the world balanced on my shoulders. The idea that someone else was going to take care of everything comforted me in a way that I didn't even realize I needed.

He stood, brushing off the legs of his pants. "Now, let's get you home. You're a nice little Dib and I think all of this darkness is getting to you."

I wanted to say that he was wrong and that paranormal investigators could deal with anything, but I was too exhausted.

"Yeah," I sighed, "Home sounds good."

**XXX**

We drove in silence. Though I stared out the window most of the time, I couldn't tell you what we passed. If there had been a farmer being beamed up into a spaceship, I wouldn't have even noticed. All I could see was that bloody, broken wall. It burned like an afterimage when I closed my eyes and drifted through my thoughts when I was awake.

My phone buzzed.

It was a message from Gaz:  _For the love of God,_   _just call Zim already._

Zim? A thought tore through my lethargy like a bolt of lightning. I had forgotten about him. Our argument felt like it had been years ago now, like it had happened in a completely different world. I tried to be mad about it, but found surprisingly little anger there. I couldn't feel much of anything anymore.

Besides, I couldn't deny that it was my fault. I might not like Zim but I shouldn't have blown him off- especially after he had saved me from having my throat sliced open. Now that Nny planned to take over the case, I should apologize to Zim, let him be smug about it for a few days, and then we could focus on finishing this stupid project once and for all.

I exchanged a couple more terse message with Gaz- who, unlike Zim, I wasn't sure I could make amends with so soon- and asked Nny if he could drop me off at Zim's house instead of mine. Then an idea occurred to me.

"Umm, can we stop at Taco Shack too?"

**XXX**

It was dark by the time we pulled up the familiar green and purple house. After everything I had experienced today, the sight actually comforted me. Thunder rolled somewhere in the distance. A few stray drops of rain streaked on windshield, and Nny flicked on the wipers though it did little but smear them across the glass.

"He really doesn't make much of an effort to blend in, does he?" Nny frowned at the "I 3 Earth!" sign, illuminated by the headlights. "Do you need me to go with you?"

"Zim I can handle." I checked through my backpack to make sure I had everything. "Reality warping wall monsters are a bit trickier. Hey… will you keep me posted on what's going on? I want to help if I can."

"Of course. We're partners in crime, aren't we? Now go on and finish your project. If you don't get an A after all of your effort, let me know. Perhaps I can  _persuade_ the skool otherwise."

The car door chimed with a soft  _ding-ding-ding_ when I opened it. Before stepping outside, I pulled the collar of my jacket over my head. The rain was starting to fall a little heavier now. "Umm, Nny?"

He glanced over at me. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to thank you… you're… you're the first person that's ever really listened me. So, um, thanks for… for being a good friend."

I had never really said anything like that before, and the words sounded strange in my voice, like they were in another language. This caught Nny off guard but when he spoke, his voice was soft and sad: "I'm not a good person to have as a friend, Dib."

"I think you're a better person than you think you are." I ventured a smile. "Good night, Nny. And good luck."

There was slight hint of regret in his voice. "Good night to you as well."

And that was that. I shouldered my bag and braced myself for the rain. The windows of Zim's house glowed softly in the darkness and I began to walk towards them.

"DIB!"

I turned back around. Nny leaned out the window, his tired eyes now lit with urgency.

"Keep being good, alright?" He pleaded. "Just promise me you'll keep being good, no matter  _how_  much they try to take it away from you! Please, just… promise me."

I didn't know that I could promise him that, but I found myself nodding.

He relaxed. "Good. The world needs more people like you, Dib. Don't forget that, okay?"

Then he drove away. As I listened to his car roaring off into the distance, I wondered what he meant by all of that. I didn't have much time to puzzle over his words, however, because something rushed towards me. It was GIR, wet dirt clinging to the feet of his dog costume as he raced across the lawn.

"He won't eat the waffles!" He lunged for me, seizing the front of my shirt. I almost lost my balance. "WHY WON'T HE EAT THE WAFFLES?!"

"Woah, calm down." I wrenched out of his grip. Though the robot's words were nonsense, his tone was urgent. "Are you talking about Zim?"

"Master loves waffles." GIR sniffed, teary-eyed. How does a robot even cry anyway? "He loves them so much!"

"Maybe he's just not hungry?" I suggested, just as Minimoose flew up. The little robot squeaked in a panic and its red eyes wobbled with fear. My heart leapt into my throat as I turned back to GIR. "What happened?! Tell me where he is!"

For once, GIR didn't hesitate to obey.

**XXX**

Not to brag, but I have pretty quick reflexes. I can see something unusual, size up the situation and leap into action. That comes from being a paranormal investigator, I guess. You have be prepared for anything, all of the time.

But when I walked into the lab, I gaped at what I saw.

Zim lay flat on his back, staring at nothing with dull red eyes. Only the slightest twitch of his antennae hinted that there was any life left in him at all. The robots hung back by the door, watching in horrified silence, as I walked closer to investigate. As my gaze moved from Zim to sweep across the room, I noticed a long metal arm extended from the ceiling holding something round and metallic.

Zim's PAK.

"Twenty seconds." The computer said.

Everything clicked together in an instant. I dove to the floor to roll Zim over. Metal prongs stuck out in his back where the PAK should have been. "Reattach the PAK!" I shouted. No response. "What are you waiting for?!"

"My orders were to not enact emergency PAK reattachment. It must be done manually. You have fifteen seconds, by the way."

"What?! Why would he-?!" Well, no time to think about that now. I cursed as I wrenched the PAK out of the metal contraption and then shoved it onto Zim's back. It took me a couple tries, like a kid who totally  _sucked_  at legos. My heart pounded with each failed attempt.

"Ten seconds, Dib." The computer reminded me.

If I had the time, I would have shouted something nasty at him. Instead I just shifted the PAK, and the pounding in my heart seemed to move into my head. I could barely see what I was doing.

"Five seconds."

Damnit! My hands shook so hard now I could barely control them. I slammed the PAK against his back one last time. I heard a click.

"Timeclock stopped."

I could have collapsed in relief. But before I even had the chance to celebrate, Zim began to convulse. Some random video from health class about what to do when someone was having a seizure leapt into my mind and I started clearing the scattered tools out of the way. It only lasted a few seconds.

Then the color came back into his eyes. They found me like missiles locking onto a target. "You! What are you doing here, Dibstink?!"

I released a breath that I didn't realize I had been holding in. "What am I doing here?! What are  _you_  doing here?! I came in and you were just lying on the-"

He held up a hand for silence and for some inexplicable reason, I actually stopped talking. A dark green bruise swelled on his head, presumably from when he collapsed, and he held a hand against it like he could stop it from spreading. Then he started to get up. I, like the idiot I am, took his arm and helped him stand.

He leaned against the desk for support. "Computer! Scan the PAK for defects."

Red beams of light, like thousands of those stupid laser pointers people use to drive cats crazy, shot down from the ceiling and skipped along the slick surface of the PAK. We stood there, silent, as the little lights danced. I wondered what we were waiting for but by the look on Zim's face, I knew better then to ask.

Then an alarm blared. All of the dots stopped on one point.

"Error detected in Residue Filtration System!"

Zim slammed a fist onto the work table, making the remaining tools jump. "Stupid!" He seized a screwdriver and threw it across the room. "Horrible!" He threw a laser hammer this time, which denoted as it hit the floor and ricocheted off a wall behind my head. "Why didn't it work?! Pull up the PAK schematics!"

A metal chair rose out of the floor as a huge blueprint projected on the curved wall. Zim fell into the chair and then banged the armrest. Both him and the chair hovered up to a flashing red point. I edged closer watching with interest as he tapped the point and it zoomed in, revealing thousands of intersecting red lines.

"What is that?" I asked.

He looked at me and because of the angle he was at, the lines projected across his face. For a moment, he seemed angry but then just tired.

"A defect." He said.

The word hung across the room, heavy like a cloud swelled with rain. He spoke it like a death sentence.

"In your PAK?" I asked, but he didn't respond. He just gazed at the red lines. "Is it... fatal or something?"

"No, not fatal. It's just… difficult to fix. I can only disconnect the PAK for ten minute intervals to do the repairs and that's not enough time."

"So that's why you passed out? You were trying to finish before the time-limit?"

He nodded like it physically pained him to agree with me. "The computer automatically reconnects the PAK three minutes before the time clock runs down. I gave it commands not to so I could have some extra time to work but I'm afraid that I... may pushed my limits too far."

"You  _think_! If I didn't just happen to stop by, you'd be dead!"

"Isn't that what you want?" He said in a strange, quiet voice.

Silence fell between us as I struggled for an answer. Isn't that what I wanted? I had told Nny in painful detail about how I wanted to see Zim's guts pouring out of him like a rubber monster in a Halloween store window; but he when he had been dying in front of me, I had dove into save him without even thinking about it.

"I don't know." I said, because that was the only way I could sum it up. Then I shrugged and added: "If you're dead, I'll fail the project."

Zim didn't laugh at my joke. Somewhere in the silence, he had turned back to stare at the flashing red light.

"Anyway," I fished around for a topic change. "I stopped by because I have something for you."

I tugged the brown paper bag from Taco Shack out of my backpack. To my surprise, Zim's antennae perked as soon as he heard the paper rustling. His red eyes watched me with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion as I held the bag up for him to see.

"A gift?" He asked, unable to keep the interest out his voice. "For  _Zim_?!"

"Yeah," My cheeks flushed as he stared at me. Now he was probably expecting something really cool. "Umm, it's just a bag of churros. They might be a little cold but you can warm them up in the microwave if you want."

"Why?"

"I… I thought you liked them?"

"I mean  _why_ are you giving them to me?"

"Well I, uh, just wanted to apologize. For this afternoon. I'm kind of battling a weird nightmare creature? It's hard to explain, but the point is that I shouldn't have snapped at you after you saved me and… I'm sorry. I guess I'll leave you to, umm... whatever it is you're doing."

My face burned red with embarrassment as I dropped the churros on the desk and started towards the elevator.

"Wait." Zim said.

When I turned around, his chair had already lowered to the floor. He stood, having regained his usual soldier's bearing, and examined the bag of churros. I watched as he opened the top and peeked inside, his antennae twitching like a cautious ant examining crumbs at a picnic.

Then, satisfied with whatever he saw, he snapped the bag shut and announced: "I accept your apology churros!"

"Okay." I said, taken aback.

"Even though your apology was woefully inadequate and horrible!"

"...  _Okay_."

He paused and I could see that he was debating with himself about something.

"There... there is something I must tell you." He finally admitted. I waited, dread uncoiling in my stomach. That was never a good sentence. "I have not been honest with you."

My first instinct was to demand to know what he was talking about it. But he seemed to be hesitant about it, so I bit my lip instead.

"I..." He met my eyes. "I know what your nightmare creature is."

There are very few times that I have found myself speechless. Usually the presence of something weird urged me to talk  _more_. But the idea that Zim- Zim of all people!- had the answer I so desperately needed was insane to me.

"You  _what_?!" I exploded. "But how?! This better not be a joke, Zim!"

"I assure you, I am completely serious. I have a great deal of experience with this creature."

"You have?!"

"Yes," A smile- an actual smile- tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I did say we were similar, did I not?"

**XXX**

As the elevator descended, I found myself panicking. To understand this, I think you need to picture what Zim's elevator is like. Unlike our elevators, which are tiny rooms that move up and down on a string, this elevator was a little platform moving down a long metal tube. Visions of accidentally skimming my hand against the wall and watching all of the flesh being scraped away leapt into my mind, a fear encouraged by the fact that the elevator was overcrowded. Zim stood next me- rigid and unafraid- his arms collapsed behind his back like a soldier about to take orders. I, on the other hand, had Minimoose perched on my shoulder and GIR wrapped around my waist, staring up at me.

"Uh…" I struggled to make conversation. "So, how do you know about the monster?"

"Monster? That's a childish way of putting it." He kept his gaze straight ahead. "To answer your question, my first experience with it was on Vort where I was stationed as a military scientist. We were doing some research on the residue coping techniques of the Ghor'lock-"

"Hold on, I thought you were a chef on Foodcourtia or something?"

He gave me a confused look, but then laughed. "I forgot that your inferior human lifecycles are so small! Your species only has time for one or perhaps two careers. It is not the same with us."

"Wait," My overwhelmed brain tried to process what he meant. "How old are you exactly?"

"Eh, I dunno. I lost track after two hundred."

Two hundred. I stared at him. It occurred to me for the first time that although I knew  _everything_  about Zim, I also knew  _nothing_  about him. He had existed for over  _two hundred_ years. What other jobs has he done? What other planets has he been to?

What other worlds has he conquered?

As usual, Zim mistook my silence for admiration. "Impressive, yes? Anyway, Vort. Before I was the glorious invader you see before you, I was a research scientist and studying this…  _phenomenon_ , I'd rather call it. The research became a pet project of mine during my appointment until my career in military research ended prematurely due to an accident."

"Uh, what accid-?"

"IRRELEVANT! After a slight fifty-year inconvenience in Foodcourtia, I was assigned to Earth and my mission here has kept me occupied. However, within the past couple months, I have begun to pursue this research again."

"So that's why you were in Mount Pleasant?"

"That horrible taco-man." He sneered. "Taking you there was a miscalculation! But yes, I frequented that hideous city because I detected a high levels of psychic residue there."

"Psychic residue…?"

"I will explain more in the lab."

We travelled in silence for a while after that and I wished this elevator had music to distract me. But since it didn't, I struck up another conversation instead. "There's something I've been wondering." He didn't object to the topic change, so I continued. "If you had been going to Mount Pleasant regularly, why didn't you want to go when I first explained the project?"

He shrugged. "It was dangerous."

"But you had been going there every day!"

"Yes, well… it was not dangerous for me."

I opened my mouth to argue, but then closed it. Then I opened it again and, still not able to form words, closed it again.

"I knew a place with such a high concentration of psychic residue would have a negative effect on your mind. To think," He chuckled. "if that opportunity had presented itself months earlier, I am certain I could have used it against you. But now… it would be senseless. There are fates I would not inflict on even my greatest enemy." He didn't look at me as he said this. "Anyway, I have suspected for a long time what you are, Diblet, but that day you came into my lab I could detect it right away. Humans are too primitive to know, but it would be obvious to any Irken…"

"What you talking about, Zim?" I tried to make my voice cold. It sounded faint instead. "What am I?"

"Patience, human. You will understand soon enough. Don't look down, by the way."

"Wha-?" I began as the elevator shuttered. And then we weren't traveling through a metal tube any longer- we were floating down a clear plastic one that stretched into an abyss below us. We were in a metal cavern lit with eerie green lights with several welding-machines, with bulbous purple circles swollen on their bodies, crawling along different parts of the wall. I only got a quick glance of this before the cavern opened below me, revealing rooms upon rooms of bubbling glass tubes, floating machines and huge screens.

I felt dizzy with wonder until I realized that, though I was impressed, the sight of things rushing past me also made me feel nauseous. The urge to throw up welled in my throat and I doubled over. Fortunately, Zim seemed to sense my distress and pressed a few buttons on a holographic panel. The elevator slowed to a more gentle descent.

Finally, we entered a metal tube again and after a few minutes of this, the elevator came to a stop and opened to reveal a long white hallway, lined the barest impressions of identical white doors. The whole effect was so disorienting that I closed my eyes and followed Zim's footsteps instead. We stopped in front of a set of doors that looked exactly like all of the others. The room, lit only by the purple light of the monitors, hummed with machinery.

There was a bright white cell in the back of the room, though the door was wide open. A kid about my age sat inside, swinging his legs.

"Hiya, Dib!" He chirped. "Wow, isn't today just  _great_?"

"Hey, Nick." I suppressed my guilt. I had tried to rescue Nick during several failed break-ins and of course, nobody at the police station believed me when I told them that he was being held captive by an alien. Maybe I should have tried harder, but he looked happy at least. Granted, that was probably due to the painful looking brain probe drilled through his skull. "How are you doing?"

He twitched. "I'm happy! It hurts how happy I am!"

"Enough words!" Zim demanded, "Go sit in the experiment chair!"

"I love the experiment chair." Nick told me, as happy as ever, as he settled down into a huge black chair. Large metal cuffs clamped down on his wrists. "Isn't it just so great? Just like everything else?"

"Zim!" I cried.

But the alien waved a dismissive hand. "Didn't you hear the smelly? It loves the chair! And besides, this particular experiment has absolutely no side effects whatsoever besides the temporary blindness and the uncontrollable diarrhea."

"The diarrhea is the best part." Nick whispered, in a strained voice.

Zim pressed a few buttons on the machine and Nick's chair swiveled into the air. "To explain my research to you, Dib-thing, you must understand that there are senses that humans cannot even comprehend. That is because you are weak and inferior, but  _also_  because you lack proper sensory organs."

"Ears, skin, eyes...?"

"Pitiful in comparison!"

 _To what?_  I nearly asked, but then realized I knew the answer. His antennae. Throughout our long... um... enemyship, I had spent a lot of time theorizing about what the antennae did. Since Zim didn't have ears or even a nose, I had always assumed they compensated for hearing and smelling in some way, but was it possible they picked up on something else? When they twitched, were they responding to some sort of sixth sense that was entirely invisible to me?

Zim grinned. "Yes, little Diblet. There is an entire world your human mind is too primitive to even process!  _I_  can sense it, however, as can all Irkens. It is essential for us in our conquest of other worlds. There is nothing more dangerous than walking around, oblivious to it, the way that you humans do. It is like a tasteless, scentless poison in the air!"

"So…" I struggled to keep up with what he was saying. "What is it that you're sensing?"

" _Patience_ , human. I am getting to that! When I sensed it here on Earth, I decided to do some research since this was my area of expertise on Vort. I found, predictably, that certain humans have a stronger aura of it more than others. This is why I began to experiment with the happiness probe on Nick. After the experiments had begun and he became disgustingly happy, I realized his aura decreased, nearly to the point of being invisible!"

I glanced at Nick. "So whatever it is that's attracted to him is less attracted when he's happy?"

"As usual you are wrong; so very wrong! And painfully stupid! Also your head is big."

"...Did you need to add that last part?"

He shrugged and then continued. "The energy isn't  _attracted_  to The Nick, as you so stupidly suggested; he is creating it! Observe."

He turned a knob on the control board. Suddenly, Nick began to scream and thrash like his soul was being ripped out of his chest.

"Make it stop!" I yelled as Zim came over to stand beside me. "You're hurting him!"

"Nonsense! It is emotional pain. Err,  _mostly_. Now put these on." He held out the silver goggles, which I realized were the same ones he was wearing earlier this afternoon at Taco Shack.

I glared at him but obeyed, snapping the goggles on over my glasses. It filtered the room in a violet light. From where Nick was thrashing against the chair, howling in pain, I could see a swirling darkness around him- shapes and figures shifting like images in a fire.

I recognized each and every twisted, tangled face.

"This is your creature, is it not?" Zim asked.

"What…" I managed, "What  _is_  it?!"

"It's called Psychic Residue. It is a psychic discharge created by suffering and negative emotions that is rather like pollution. Just as pollution poisons the soil and the water, psychic residue poisons minds. If too much of it builds up, it will cause any conscious beings in the surrounding area to go irrevocably insane."

I stared at Nick, screaming at the top of his lungs, thick coils of residue emerging from his head like smoke from a fire.

"How am I able to see it? This is Irken technology?"

Zim frowned. "Not exactly. I... err... improved a previous human design. GIR!" The little robot ran up, holding out a long, hollow rectangular box. Zim took it from his hand. "Do you recognize this?"

"Dad's dimensional scope!" Then the realization came crashing down on me. "You!  _You're_ the one who set off Dad's alarms! Is  _that_ why you gave me that sleeping stuff?! So you could steal my Dad's things?!"

"I highly doubt you would have lent it to me if I had asked!" He snarled. Here, I bit my lip. He had a good point. "Since your father already created the design, all I needed to do was tweak it to see the dimension closest to ours. Now, watch what happens when the emotional distress is finished."

He signaled to Minimoose, who nudged a dial on the control panel. Nick started to calm down and as he did, less and less energy poured from his mind until he had just a very faint aura of it. The remaining psychic residue, swirling around in the air, suddenly began to writhe. The thin tendrils began drain across the floor.

And right to me.

"What," I backed up, "What is it doing?"

"It's attracted to you." Zim said, watching me struggle against the residue creeping up my legs. "Everywhere you go, the residue other people are producing is attracted to you. Don't you see? All of that waste has to go somewhere! You are like a living sewer!"

I tried to push away the residue but I couldn't feel anything. It rushed towards me, draining from the air like someone had pulled the plug in a bathtub full of water.

"No!" I shouted, crashing into a console. I began swatting at it, but it kept coming like a horrible swarm of insects. "Help! Make it stop!"

It engulfed my waist and my chest and my neck and I screamed until it came to my mouth which I shut- trying so hard to keep it out- but it just burrowed beneath my glass and into my eyes until I couldn't see anything but dark-

Then, I could see again.

Zim stood in front of me, holding the goggles. For the first time, there was pity in his eyes. "It… it is maddening, is it not?"

I couldn't look at him. I turned away and leaned against the wall, forcing myself to breathe. I didn't want to, I didn't want to let it inside, but I knew it was going to get there anyway. It had been for months. "I'm like them," I gasped, "Like the girl and N-Nny and... and the maniac."

Zim nodded. "And many others! Psychic residue is not a problem exclusive to humans. You are aware of Irkens, but the universe is  _filled_  with different races of thinking, conscious beings and each race has developed their own method of coping with Residue. The Meekrob simply avoid thinking negative thoughts. The JubJars have such short lifespans that they allow the Residue to build up as they mate and lay their eggs, and then they simultaneously kill other in a fit of rage."

"And Irkens?"

"Thousands of years ago, when my race still reproduced naturally, we had what was called a Wastelock System- the same as humans. In a Wastelock System, a few were chosen to bear the burden for the greater good. They would absorb residue and keep it contained- they were locks to their respective cells, so to speak. Once they could take it no longer, they would destroy themselves as well as the bulk of The Residue that was linked to them, thus flushing The Residue into oblivion."

"Like a toilet?"

"Heh. Toilet. But yes! Taller Irkens could bear the burden longer, since they could hold more residue and thus became venerated for their sacrifices."

Sacrifices? Those weren't sacrifices; those were suicides. Those Irkens killed themselves to get rid of the residue inside them, just like the girl had when she hung herself. I shivered, remembering my conversation with Nny in the car.  _I don't think about much else_ , he had told me.

"On Irk, being a wastelock was a position of great honor," Zim continued, "Yet few wished for the responsibility. Besides the mental strain and the ultimate sacrifice, wastelocks dealt with another challenge. If the sacrifice was not made at the right time and the wastelock continued to absorb residue, something… unusual… could happen. In these rare cases, an extremely large mass of Residue would develop a consciousness of it's own and warp the wastelock's mind- causing them to become an unwitting servant rather than a jailer."

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said. The wastelock would become nothing more than a puppet, feeding the residue with the suffering that it craved- causing it to grow larger and larger. And if that happened, if a mass of residue continued to feed without being flushed, it could become too large to be contained…"

"And then what?"

He shrugged. "In all of my research, I have never found a documented case of this happening. There were several close calls, but those wastelocks were discovered and killed before their residue masses could grow to that size. Fortunately, modern Irkens need not worry about residue at all. Humans still use a Wastelock System because your species is very primitive, but Irkens have developed far more advanced residue coping techniques. When we developed PAKs, they were integrated with an RFS- Residue Filtration System- to filter out residue and keep the wearer from going insane."

"So Irkens don't need wastelocks anymore?"

"Precisely! With built-in Residue Filtration System, Irkens have a unique advantage over of other species. Not only have we eliminated the need for wastelocks, but we can also ensure that our invaders won't be affected by the residue on other planets during their missions. It is a near perfect system!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Near perfect?"

Zim's eyes averted and he didn't speak for a few moments. "PAKs are mechanical," he said, after a while. "And all technology, as well as it may work, can be subject to… glitches, from time to time. PAKs are no different. Every day, hundreds of Irken smeets are cloned and activated so it's inevitable that some of them may receive a PAK that is… faulty, in some way. Irkens that receive faulty PAKs are called defects."

There was that word again.  _Defect_. My stomach sank, though I wasn't sure why.

"So, what..." I hesitated. "... what happens to these  _defects_?"

"It depends on the error. If it's a matter of replacing a faulty wire or a leaking battery, the defect can easily be repaired. But if the error is in their RFS, the issue is more serious. The RFS is a complex system and an Irken with a faulty RFS can be a danger to the entire empire."

"Because they go crazy?"

He said nothing. That look crossed over his face; it was the same look he had when he showed up on my porch in the rain that night that felt like years ago now. But he kept his gaze on the floor, like it hurt him to meet my eyes.

"Zim," I let my voice soften. "Why are you studying this?"

"Researching residue was… always hobby of mine, I suppose." He forced the words out of his throat. "I always noticed it, even when other Irkens could not. I didn't understand why they hadn't tried to harness its potential for doom! I never realized… it didn't  _occur_  to me that there was a reason nobody else thought about it. It was because they… they didn't  _feel_ it the way I did!"

I knew where this was going. I could see the thousand of intersecting red lines splayed across his face like scars.  _A defect._

He didn't meet my eyes. "The filtration system in my PAK works, but only in a limited capacity. It doesn't filter everything the way it is supposed to. I… I never noticed. The defect was so small, so  _insignificant_ and I never knew it was there. All of my life there has been a tiny stream of Residue infecting my brain like a slowly spreading poison…"

 _Over two hundred years_ … Images of Zim flashed through my mind. His maniacal laughing. The way he seemed to twist words in his mind to whatever suited him best. His bizarre, almost Wonderland-like logic. The screaming. The lust for destruction. The fire in his eyes.  _Over two hundred years of being driven to insanity._

Is that what I was going to become?

I gripped the console for support. I felt sick. When I looked up, I didn't see much of that insanity Zim's eyes now. He looked exhausted, like he had just returned from wandering the universe in search of a place to rest.

"But lately you seem more…"  _Sane_ was the word I wanted to use, but I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"You are correct. My mind feels clear at the moment."

"How?" I asked, desperate for a solution.

But then, I knew why. I considered grabbing the glasses out of Zim's hands, but what was the point? I already knew what I would see.

I would have seen the residue flowing from his mind into mine, like water rushing downstream.

The horrible truth crashed down on me. "You're using me as a sponge!" I shouted. " _That's_ why you didn't want to split up for the project! You've been letting me absorb your residue so you can go around being happy while I naively soak up all of your madness!"

Zim glanced away. "That wasn't the only reason."

"So it  _was_  a reason then?!"

"My mind is always buzzing" His voice became pleading. "It doesn't rest! But when I am with you, everything is still. And when you leave, I… I can't think straight!"

"Zim-"

"I noticed it for the first time when you arrived at the lab a few days ago! It was… it was the way I was supposed to feel if my filtration system worked properly. I was disgusted! Disgusted that I needed  _you_ \- my sworn enemy- to bring me peace! I wasted two months trying to fix this  _horrible_  defect to have just a glimpse of this sanity and you gave it to me within two minutes! That's  _shameful_!"

My heart twisted at this. I understood more than I wanted to. In a few weeks, what would I do to have a moment of rest? The sudden similarity frightened me.

His voice shook when he spoke again. "It doesn't even matter! The damage has been done! I've had this defect my entire life! It has shaped everything that I am; it's the core of my personality! How could I ever repair that?!"

"You can't just give up," I said, in a vain attempt to comfort him. "First steps first, right? You have to fix the RFS before anything else. That can't be too hard! I mean, there's got to be some way to fix it!"

"There is! I know  _how_  to fix it with the schematics I got from Skoodge but I can't get around that STUPID containment protocol!"

"Containment protocol?"

"PAKs with the classification of defect are sealed!" Zim's words became faster and faster as he spoke. "Those security settings are the highest in the Irken Empire! I can't access ANY of the data on my PAK! I can't even upload my data to a new host! If you hadn't arrived when you did, I would be DEAD! No more Zim! NOTHING!"

"Okay," I tried to keep my voice calm and reassuring but his panic was beginning to make me jittery. "So why don't go home and have it repaired? They must have the technology to help you."

"I can't do that!"

"Why not, Zim? Just shove your pride up your ass and-"

"It is not a matter of pride, you stupid beast! It is because I c _an't!_ I'm a DEFECT!" The word bounced across the room. GIR, who had been tracing the tiles of the floor with a costumed hand reached up to tug at Zim's shirt questioningly. He didn't look down. "Were you not listening to my story?! Defects are errors and errors have no place on Irk! I'm BANISHED!"

"Zim, calm-"

"The Tallest have sealed my PAK and remotely disabled The Voot Cruiser! I'm  _STRANDED_  on this miserable planet! That's the entire reason they sent me in the first place!"

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"I wasn't sent here to conquer Earth!" His voice trembled. "The mission was a lie to keep me from going back! The Tallest…  _everyone_ … just wanted me gone so I wouldn't interfere in the real Operation!"

"Wait," His words made no sense. "Are you saying they don't want Earth?"

If I had been told that I might receive news like this about a week ago, I probably would have thought that it would be the greatest day of my life. But now, it  _hurt._  All this time, I thought Earth was genuinely in danger from an extraterrestrial threat when in actuality we were only harboring one crazy alien who was the laughing stock of his own people?

I felt embarrassed for Zim, but also for myself. How much time and energy had I spent in what I thought was saving the world when I was really just humoring Zim's bizarre delusions? This wasn't a story about a brave hero stopping a dangerous invader from another world. We were nothing more than a paranoid little boy and a defective alien playing a game that only we took seriously.

And then, I  _hated_  Zim.

I hated him more than I had ever hated him before. I hated him so much I wish I had never even known him; I wished he had landed somewhere else and we had never met at all. I tried to tell myself I was being cruel. There were many things Zim could be blamed for, but this wasn't one of them. He hadn't  _actually_  lied to me and as much as I was hurt, the truth stung him far worse, so much worse that had just stood in the rain that night on the porch and didn't even care. The truth was: he was scared, alone and vulnerable.

But that wasn't what this was supposed to be! He was supposed to be  _scary_ ; he was supposed be a monster for  _me_  to save everyone from!

Instead, he was the one who needed to be saved.

That stupid bastard.

"That's why you came to my house that night." I hardened my voice. "You were going to ask me for help."

He said nothing, but of course that said everything.

And that's when something snapped.

"Well, you know what?!" I rounded on him. "You were right not to ask me! I don't  _want_ to help you! I've got my own problems to worry about!"

He recoiled from my words, but the hurt quickly turned to anger. "That's cruel, human! Even for you!"

" _Jealous_ , Zim?! Jealous that I get to kick you when you're down for once?!"

Then his eyes widened with realization. "I… I let my emotions get out of control! You've been absorbing my negative energy. And with the residue Nick produced earlier, you may be overwhelmed-"

"You'd like to think that, wouldn't you?!" I snapped. My voice was angry but I didn't  _feel_ angry. I felt… elated. Happy. I  _enjoyed_  this. "This is great! I always knew you were an idiot, but I never dreamed your whole empire knew it too! Were they laughing at you, Zim?! How does it feel to be the butt monkey of the universe for once?!"

"Dib, you are letting it control-"

"Nny said it would happen!" I laughed. So much elation bubbled up inside me, I thought I was going to be sick. "He was right! Think of all the times you hurt me, Zim! Now it's fair!  _An eye for an eye!_ "

" _Nny_?" Zim narrowed his eyes, "That sick human?! He's insane! I have never seen a bigger concentration of residue than the one I saw around him! Being near him is making your condition worse!"

"I don't care what you think, Zim! Nny is my friend and for once I actually  _have_  one of those! And hey, that's more than we can say for you, right?"

"Enough-"

"You're  _alone_! There are billions of beings in the universe and none of them give a  _shit_  about you _!_ " I stabbed him with my words, the way the maniac stabbed his victims. I wanted to stab him until he screamed and bled and died. "At least I have a  _family_ , Zim, but you?! Your entire  _race_ hates you! All you have is an empty house and couple of glitched robots! You're so alone that the only person you can turn to is your worst enemy! It's pathetic!"

He stood there, still and quiet, with a soldier's expression. Betray no pain. Betray no weakness. No, that wasn't going to work for me. I craved his pain. I craved his weakness. I  _needed_ it.

I came closer, until I was standing just inches from his face. "You're nothing, Zim! Don't you see?! You're so small! How could you ever believe they would have entrusted a naïve little bug like you with an entire planet?! If they did, they would have been stupider than-"

I felt a prick against the back of my neck. With a jolt of horror, I realized Zim had extended his PAK legs and now I was trapped like a cocooned fly being embraced by a spider.

"You are crossing a line, Dib." His voice was steady now. "Do not take our fight to a level you can never turn back from. Because if you do..."

The sharp tip pressed through the skin on the back of my neck like a needle through a vein. I shuddered in pain.

"... I promise I will finish it."

The joy, the elation- it all fled from my body, leaving me cold and shivering. I stood there, shaking, as the metal point burrowed into my flesh.

"You know what your problem is, worm?" Zim's voice was low and soft- and somehow that terrified me more than if he was screaming in my face. "You march forward like a martyr, looking down at everyone around you, thinking the universe is cheating you out of the respect that you so richly deserve. Do you think you're the only person who feels alone? Do you think you're the only person who understands what  _suffering_ is like?! You think you're a hero, but you're really just a selfish, pouting child! It's no wonder you became a wastelock- you're too busy chasing delusions to see how sick you really are!"

"I-" I started but then gasped as the point pushed in further.

"Now, " He continued, in an even voice. "You have made your feelings about me quite clear. And so, I would like you to leave. I will not be coming back to skool; we are no longer a group for this project.  _Never_  return here again. Do you understand?"

I didn't nod, afraid the needlepoint might rip my skin, but there must have been a confirmation in my expression.

"Good." He hissed. "Then get out of my sight!"

The pressure disappeared from my neck and I stood there for a moment, stunned, as I stared at him. His eyes burned with fury, but there was also something else there. The deep rift between us that - just minutes ago- I could have stepped across, now seemed to be a bottomless chasm no bridge could ever span.

"Zim-" I began.

" _GET OUT!"_

And I ran.

I ran out of the room and his last words chased me down the disorienting white hallway until somehow, someway, I stumbled back into the room with the elevator. The doors opened and I collapsed inside, falling to my knees as the platform jolted upwards.

As it sped past rooms and half-glimpsed hallways, the numb shock began to fade away. What had I just done? I felt like I was waking up from one of my nightmares. But as I sat there, trembling on the floor, I realized I had been rubbing the tiny spot on the back of my neck. When I looked down at my hand, I saw the blood on my fingers.

That's when I began to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dreamtime on Friday.


	11. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Sorry the update was so late today! I decided to make some large, last-minute edits on this chapter. There are some pretty important events happening in this Dreamtime, so I wanted to make sure everything made sense (or at least, everything will make sense by the end)!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own a fidget spinner. That makes me cool with the youth, right? R-right?! Please validate me!

_The Wall saw everything._

_As I sat in front of it, replaying words I could never take back, I didn't cry. All of my tears were on my pillow, so far away they might as well be in another world._

" _Ironic, isn't it?" I asked. "I've spent so much time hunting monsters and now I'm becoming one."_

_The Wall said nothing._

…  _but we both knew it was listening._

" _Maybe it's not ironic." As I spoke, I could taste the scent of burning metal in the air like a hot coin simmering on my tongue. "Maybe it's just unfortunate. I don't know. I just… I thought I was so much better than all of this! I was supposed to be the hero!"_

_**Hero.** _

_The word made my stomach twist into knots._

_It was true that the game that Zim and I played didn't have any spoken rules. He aired my disgusting workout footage across the galaxy. I pretended to be his intern for several weeks. He tried to turn me into baloney. I abandoned him to the mercy of The Halloweenies. He stole my lungs. I ran off with his PAK._

_But somehow, I had crossed an invisible line. My enemy had been vulnerable; he was asking me for help and what had I done? I stabbed him and twisted the knife. How could I call myself a hero after that? It was vicious and cruel…_

…  _and I had loved every second of it._

_I leaned forward, nauseous. What was wrong with me? I replayed the scene again and again in my mind, recalling the dizzying elation that had taken over my body as I fired off words like bullets. Idiot! Pathetic! Alone! It couldn't have been me saying those things, could it?_

_I wished I could deny it but the truth was that something had awakened inside me; it had been as quick as flicking on a lightswitch. The residue, as Zim had called it, really_ _ **was**_   _driving me insane. What happened if I snapped like that again? And what if it wasn't just emotional pain next time?_

_What happened if I really, truly hurt someone?_

" _Are you okay?" asked a small voice._

_I stiffened in surprise and turned around. The little boy was illuminated by the bare bulb- swinging back and forth, back and forth, back and forth- as he hugged the strange bear to his chest._

" _I…" My cheeks burned with shame. How could I tell him what I did? Pulling together my shattered confidence, I forced cheerfulness into my voice. "I-I'm fine! Everything good with you?"_

_He stared at me and I wondered if he had spotted the terrified thoughts seeping through my skin._

_But then, he just shrugged. "I guess so. I don't like skool, though. My teacher is old and scary..."_

" _Geez, sounds like my teacher."_

_That earned me a small, trembling smile. The boy took a couple hesitant steps in my direction and then- nodding as if he was psyching himself up to dive off a cliff- he sat next to me. I tried not to move, afraid I would startle him away like he was a butterfly that had just landed on my sleeve._

" _You're Dib Membrane, right?" The boy asked._

_This caught me off-guard. "How did you-?"_

" _I saw you on TV." He glanced down, suddenly shy. "You and your dad were making a baking soda volcano with puppets."_

_Of course. Poking the Membrane of Science was my Dad's educational show for kids. In addition to going to all of Dad's press conferences and major events, Gaz and I also guest-starred on the show every once in awhile. It wasn't unusual for children to come running up to us on the street, however, a glare from Gaz often sent them screaming in the other direction._

" _Geez, that episode was embarrassing." I shook my head. "That was the Thanksgiving special, wasn't it? Dad said they used to celebrate with turkey and family dinners in the past, but now it's all about volcanoes."_

" _Yeah, that's weird. I guess it's better than the 4th of July, though."_

" _Ugh, don't even get me started on that! Like who thought launching beavers into space was a good idea?"_

_To my surprise, the boy laughed. It was a soft little giggle, so slight I almost mistook it for a cough._

" _Squee." He said._

" _What?"_

" _That's what people call me, but my real name is Todd." He held up the stuffed animal for me to see. "And this is Schmee!"_

" _Oh… uh, hi Schmee."_

_The bear's grinning expression didn't change._

" _That's not nice, Schmee." Squee frowned at the bear, "You shouldn't tell people that they have big heads!" Then, he looked up at me. "Umm, I'm sorry I ran away when you showed up at skool yesterday. I just… I thought that you might be mad at me…"_

" _Why would I be mad at you?"_

_Instead of answering, he fiddled with a piece of fluff that was poking out of one of Schmee's seams._

" _Squee," I tried again, keeping my voice calm. "What are you hiding?"_

_Squee squirmed under my gaze. "You won't like me if I tell you."_

" _What is it?" When he still didn't answer, I lightened my voice. "Are you secretly the homicidal maniac?"_

" _No!" His face went slightly pale._

" _Then it can't be that bad, right?" When he still said nothing, I added. "Come on, Squee. I promise I won't get upset."_

" _It's…" He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was about to jump out of a plane. "It's… it's my fault you're here!"_

_The universe stopped for a second. I couldn't have heard him right, could I? My heart pounded in my chest but I didn't ask any of the questions that bubbled up in my mind. Instead, I waited for him to continue._

" _I started having these creepy dreams a few months ago," Squee stared ahead at The Wall, his face pale in the darkness. "They really scared me so I stopped going to sleep. I got real tired, more tired than the time I stayed up all night watching the Floopsy Bloops Schmoopsy marathon. One day I got so sleepy that I accidentally fell asleep in during class and had the nightmare again. I screamed and fell out of my chair." His cheeks flushed red. "Everyone laughed at me, except Pepito. He pulled me out into the hallway and asked-"_

" _Wait, who's Pepito?"_

" _He's… um… sortoftheantichrist?"_

_My voice stuck in my throat. "You're friends with the…"_

_Squee shrugged. "His mom makes good lasagna! Anyway, Pepito asked what was wrong and I told him about the dreams. He was real worried and said there was a powerful monster after me. I got scared, but he said he was going to talk to his dad about it."_

" _If Pepito is the…" I fumbled for words, "Then his dad is the…"_

" _The next day at skool," Squee continued, oblivious to my amazement. "Pepito was angry. He said that he talked to his dad and his dad didn't want to do anything. Something about it 'already being decided'? I didn't understand that part. But Pepito said he was going to talk to his grandmother instead…"_

" _ **Grandmother**_ _?!"_

" _Yeah. Pepito said they fight a lot about skool and stuff, but he thought she would help. Anyway, he went to talk to his grandmother and when he came back he said it was all taken care of!"_

" _What does that even mean?"_

" _That's what I asked Pepito! At first, he wouldn't tell me but I kept asking him over and over until he turned around and said 'it has to pick someone, amigo'. Then he told me not to worry about it anymore. He said I would keep having the nightmares for a while, but if I stood back and stayed quiet that the monster wouldn't hurt me. I was just a Plan B now."_

_Plan B. My mind was spinning. If Squee was Plan B, then what did that make me?_

" _I… I don't know what happened exactly, but I think they told the monster to choose you instead." Squee buried his face in the bear to hide the tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I_ _ **knew**_   _I shouldn't have told Pepito, but I was so scared! I didn't know what he was going to do! When I figured it out, I tried to warn you in the nightmares. I thought if I could get you to run far away, the monster would leave you alone! But I… I guess I didn't do enough. I'm sorry..."_

_As he hugged Schmee, shaking and sniffling, thoughts whipped through my mind like a tornado._

_Squee's confession raised far more questions than answers:_ _how did it pick Squee in the first place?_ _Why would a helpless little kid to be chosen as a sewer for an uncontrollable mass of psychic residue? And for that matter, why had I- out of all of the other people on planet Earth- been picked to replace him? Maybe Dillon had been right; maybe I did have 'future serial killer' written all over me and I just couldn't see it._

_But I put those thoughts aside and examined Squee. He really was small.._

" _Hey." I nudged him until he looked up at me. "I promise I'm not mad at you. You shouldn't feel guilty just because you dodged a bullet. If what your friend Pepito said is true, then you're going to be okay."_

_Once Plan A is finished, I didn't want to say._

" _No, I… I didn't stay quiet like he told me to." Squee's eyes darted to The Wall. "I think the monster is mad at me."_

" _You don't know that."_

" _I do. I've... been seeing things in real life. They came into my room yesterday and said I should keep my mouth shut. I was ruining things, they said."_

_A chill danced up my spine. "Who are 'they', Squee?"_

" _I don't know. I don't_ _ **want**_   _to know. I just want them to go away…" He hugged the bear even closer to his chest. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he glanced up at me. "Did you really mean all of those things you said?"_

" _Huh?"_

" _You said you can beat the monster. Is that true?"_

_Oh God. Did I really say that?_

_I cringed at the memory._ _**You may not have heard of me** _ _, I had pronounced with an arrogant smirk, like I was an unrecognized celebrity at a coffee shop,_ _**but I've saved the world dozens of times and I'm going to do it again!** _

_How could I have been so stupid?_

_I_ _n my short career as a paranormal investigator, I hunted for bigfoot, chased after ghosts and battled my alien nemesis- but I had_ _ **never**_   _faced a creature like this. This wasn't a vampire that could be vanquished with a sprinkle of garlic; this monster was a miasma of suffering and pain, a distillation of humanity's collective madness. It would be like fighting a tidal wave- it didn't matter how much I raged and screamed..._

_I was going to drown._

_What else could I do but tell him the truth? I took a deep breath- ready to admit my failure- but then I froze when I spotted a spark in the boy's tired, grey eyes._

_Hope._

_The boy looked at me the way I had looked at Nny as we sat together under the swaying trees and the darkening sky._ _ **If all goes well,**_ _he had told me,_ _ **I promise I will stop him forever.**_   _He was going to defeat the monster_ _ **and**_   _the maniac, he said, and I had believed him._   _I remembered the relief I felt that someone was going to take care of things. For the first time ever, I wouldn't be dealing with the unknown alone._

_**I wish Nny was here**_ _, I thought._ _**He would know what to say**_ _. But Nny was somewhere far away in the waking world. I was on my own._

_The boy was watching me, his eyes searching my face for an answer. I was the only person he could trust. How could I let him down after I promised to help him? How could I let that spark of hope die?_

_No, I decided. That wouldn't happen._

" _Of course I can beat it!" I tried to smile but it felt awkward, like I had forgotten which muscles to use. "No sweat! I really think I've got it on the ropes now. That's probably why it's after you; it's just getting desperate because it knows it's losing."_

" _Really?" Squee asked._

_There was just a hint of cautious optimism in his voice. It was small- so small that I almost thought I imagined it- but it was there._

" _Sure! You've got nothing to worry about. It's not going to hurt you, Squee. Not while I'm around, remember?"_

_For a moment, Squee stared at me like he had never seen me before. Then, his face brightened and he smiled- a real smile this time._

" _What can I do?" he asked._

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I want to help you!" His voice became a little more certain. "We can beat the monster together!"_

_I blinked in surprise. Nobody had ever said anything like that to me before. The kids at skool never believed me about anything and neither did anyone else in my life. Even Gaz, who_ _**did** _ _believe me, never offered to help. The only person I could ever rely on when the world was in danger was Zim, and only when he wasn't the one trying to destroy it._

_**This world is overpopulated with assholes.**_ _Nny had said, as we walked through dark woods._   _ **People are cruel and stupid and there are no consequences for anything.**_

_Though I hadn't said anything at the time, I had agreed with him. Nny's words had given shape to the one thought that I had been too afraid to speak, the thought that leapt through my mind every time I had gotten wind of one of Zim's schemes: maybe I shouldn't stop him. They never help me, so why should I help them?_

_Maybe humanity didn't deserve to be saved._

_But now, I thought about Squee; the little boy in his striped pajamas. clutching his teddy bear, yelling over the roar of the crumbling wall._ _**Run, it's going to get you!** _ _Pepito had told him to stay quiet so the monster wouldn't harm him, but Squee had defied his orders- he had yelled out a warning to me- night after night, nightmare after nightmare- in vain attempt to save my life._

_And now, even though he was terrified, he still wanted to help me?_

_I couldn't understand it._

_"775 Oak Street." Squee said._

" _Huh?" It took a few moments to rouse from my stupor. "Is that…?"_

_"That's my house. 775 Oak Street! Make sure you don't go to 777 Oak Street though, okay? That's where the scary neighbor man lives. When people go inside his house, they don't come back."_

_A small, tentative spark of hope ignited in my chest. After days of running around looking for leads, I now had Squee's address! I could go to his house and maybe he could take me to meet this "Pepito" person. If we could get him to-_

_Wait, what was that last part?_

" _Squee," My voice was slow and reluctant, "That thing you just said about your neighbor's house… what did you mean by that?"_

" _The scary neighbor man takes people into his basement." Squee said, too casually, like I had just asked him if he wanted a soda. "I told my dad about it, but he said I was breathing his air too much."_

" _So, you think that your neighbor is… kidnapping people?"_

" _Umm, I guess? He doesn't like the word 'kidnapped'. He said they're not kids and they're not taking naps. He doesn't like the word 'abducted' either because it makes him sound like an alien and he_ _ **really**_   _doesn't like aliens. But whatever he calls it, they scream real loud sometimes…"_

_I tried to keep calm. A torture chamber in his neighbor's basement? It was too much of a coincidence. Squee went to skool in the same city that most of the homicidal maniac's victims were from. Squee had been also chosen by the monster- a choice that seemed random just minutes ago. But what if it wasn't? The monster was controlling the maniac, after all. What if it didn't have to look far for another waste-lock?_

_It just needed to go next door._

" _Squee," I started, "What if your neighbor is-?"_

_The Wall broke._

_Thoughts about the maniac flew from my mind as the crack sped down The Wall like a car, roaring down the highway. Grey mist flooded into the room, fogging my glasses as it engulfed us like an avalanche. I couldn't see Squee but I could tell he was there by the way he clung to my arm._

" _It's okay!" I shouted over the crashing concrete. We both coughed and sputtered as the mist swirled around us. "We're going to be fine!"_

_The crashing stopped and through the mist I could see the outline of a long crack in The Wall. Squee squeezed my arm so tightly it was beginning to go numb. And then..._

_... nothing happened._

_Minutes passed in silence. As we sat there, the only sound was the loud thumping of my heart in my chest. No screaming faces, gleaming insects, or glinting teeth leapt out at us; there was nothing inside the crack but a distant green light that cast an eerie glow over the room. It was like sitting in a ride at Disney World but the animatronic missed its cue and the music was skipping._

" _What's going on?" Squee's face was still buried in my arm, "Are we dead?"_

_I was about to answer when I heard it- footsteps. When I looked up, I could see_ _ **something**_   _in the mist. It was a jagged, fuzzy silhouette framed by the green light as it limped towards us, wheezing with each thumping step._

_**It can't be** _ _, I thought._

_I got to my feet, dragging Squee up with me, as the figure stumbled forward and seized the jagged crack in The Wall for support. The bulb swinging from the ceiling illuminated a familiar face._

_My heart skipped a beat. "Zim?!"_

_Zim was wearing his disguise but the uniform was ripped and his wig was askew. His artificial blue eyes shimmered with fear that was all too real. Upon seeing me, he tried to speak but collapsed onto his knees instead._

" _No!" Squee tugged me back before I could catch him. "It's a trick!"_

_It took all of my willpower to stop myself. Of course. It had to be an illusion. But it hurt to watch as Zim- or the thing pretending to be Zim- took gasping breaths. He clenched his stomach as pink liquid seeped through the fingers of his gloves and trickled onto the floor._

_His voice was weak. "Dib…"_

_It sounded too much like Zim and I tried to look away, but my skin burned where his eyes stared. Against my better judgement, I met his gaze. I expected him to be angry or accusing, but he just looked exhausted._

" _You win." He said._

_A black mist crept through The Wall and wound around his body. Too late, I realized they were forming thick black tentacles._

" _Wait!" I cried. Ignoring Squee, ignoring my common sense, I made a desperate grab for his hand but the tentacles jerked him backwards. I hit the ground and scrambled back onto my feet, just in time to see him being pulled through The Wall. "Zim!"_

_We locked eyes for just a moment._

_The resignation on his face was the last thing I saw before everything went dark._

**XXX**

His name was on my lips as I awoke. The posters- thousands of eyes and tentacles and teeth- stared back at me, illuminated by the red numbers on the alarm clock. 4:04 am. I fumbled around until I found my phone on the nightstand. Heart pounding in my chest, I scrolled through the contacts until I found him.

_It was dream_ , I told myself.

_He's fine_ , I told myself.

_He hates you_ , I told myself.

But I called anyway.

The phone rang. I sat up, kicking off the blankets. My grip on the phone tightened to keep my hands from shaking. The ringing stopped.

My brain jumped into action. "H-Hello? Zim?!"

But I only heard static.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading and commenting! As always, full chapter on Monday.


	12. The Complication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! Also thank you to RainCloud, who left a really nice review! (It was a signed anonymous one so I couldn't reply directly, so I'll just say thank you here! You're awesome!)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. And, for the last time, I do not own a yo-yo. Seriously! I didn't take it, okay? You have to move past this already.

**agent_mothman:** …gaz?  
**agent_mothman:** i know you're still mad at me but i need your help  
**agent_mothman:** something bad has happened to zim.  
**agent_mothman:** i might not be home for a while. i need to investigate this.  
**agent_mothman:** tell dad we're working on the project or something, k?  
**agent_mothman:** thx  
**agent_mothman:** and... i really am sorry.  
**agent_mothman:** for everything.

**XXX**

Through the reflection in the bus window, I could see the man in the aisle across from me had an open sore on his face. He scratched at it, the crusted blood sprinkling the hair of his beard. Somewhere a baby screamed and someone coughed a wet, hacking cough. Flies buzzed around an old man with a milky glass eye, who had been staring up at the roof of the bus since I got on.

_Disgusting._

I shivered, drawing my jacket closer. For the first time, I could understand why Zim was so repulsed by humans. We were gross _._ I kept my arms close, afraid an accidental brush of my skin against the bus seat would infect me with all of the disgusting, human filth that surrounded me.

But what was the point? I was that filth.

I was the most disgusting person there.

Everything felt numb, like the past five hours had been some sort of weird dream. I could recall some of it clearly, but the rest of it was a tangle of confused thoughts and images.

Immediately after the phone call, I had run to my computer. I hadn't checked them in months, but I still had working cameras in Zim's house. I can only recall how I drummed the desk with my fingers, my entire body itching with anticipation as the video feeds loaded.

They all showed static.

The entire world fell away- there was no way that all of those cameras had failed at once! That would take an almost cosmic amount of luck and there was only one being in this world who could be so supernaturally lucky.

The homicidal maniac.

The neighborhood was silent except for the pounding of my footsteps on the pavement as I ran through well-lit streets. As I ran, I began to wonder if I was being stupid. Maybe the cameras had some kind of ill-timed factory defect? Maybe the static on the phone call had just been a glitch? I expected to run up to the house and pound on the door- over and over and over- until an annoyed Zim tugged me inside and demanded to know why the hell I was bothering him at four in the morning. After I babbled out a nonsensical excuse, he would toss me out and I would trudge home, embarrassed and relieved. But when I came to a stumbling stop in front of the familiar green and purple house, my stomach dropped.

The nightmare was real.

I remember walking up to Zim's house, past the rows of limp gnomes and stepping over the remains of the robot parents- the father's jaw wobbling uselessly up and down while the mother still reached for my leg. I remember the stab of sadness I felt as something crunched under my feet and I realized it was Minimoose, scattered in pieces across the floor. I remember the nausea that rose in my stomach when I found the path to his kitchen- his neat, pristine kitchen- splattered with a clearish-pink liquid.

I can recall the dread in my stomach as I walked into the kitchen, wondering how I would find him. And what would I do if I did? Call the police? Bury him in the backyard?

Contact his leaders?

I remember a shot of relief at not finding him there, just before the true meaning of that had set in. It was both good news and bad news for Zim. The good news was that, since I knew the attacker was the maniac, I also knew that Zim was probably still alive. The maniac, if his previous excursions were any indication, usually killed his victims on the spot  _or_  brought them back to his "torture cellar" for his amusement- not both.

The bad news was that, according to stories from the escaped victims, this would most likely end in a new clearish-pink coat for his wall.

As the reality of the situation settled in, so did the guilt. This couldn't be a coincidence. Why else would the manic go to another town and break into a highly protected alien base to claim a victim when there were many easier ones just walking around? He took Zim because the monster had seen him with me.

He took Zim because he knew it would hurt me.

"Diiiib?" A tug on my jacket jolted me back to reality. I glanced down at the little green dog. "We gonna stop and get brain freezies?"

I didn't realize that he actually knew my name. "We don't have time for that. Zim is in trouble, okay? If we don't get to the bottom of this whole thing soon, he's going to die. You understand that, don't you?"

GIR stared at me and I imagined the frightened look in glowing eyes, somewhere beneath the costume.

"Forget it." I muttered. "It's going to be fine, alright? Everything will be fine."

"So… brain freezy?"

I cringed. Why had I bothered to fix him in the first place? I really can't tell you. I know it's just a machine but it laughed and cried and shrieked and the idea that it wasn't doing any of that anymore… that was just something I couldn't handle. Not on top of everything else. As I worked, trying to navigate machinery that was far too complex for me, I couldn't shake the weird feeling that if I could fix GIR that maybe there was a chance I could fix  _all_  of this. I don't know why I thought that. I guess I needed to believe in something.

"If we live through this," I leaned back against the seat, letting my head rest against the cool leather. "I promise you that we'll get brain freezies."

Listening to the coughing and the buzzing of flies and ringing of phones, I closed my eyes. But I didn't fall asleep. How could  _anyone_  fall asleep with so much noise? I wanted to scream at them to shut up, I wanted to scream at them until everything became silent.

But instead, I just fiddled with the goggles I had picked up from the kitchen floor, the goggles Zim had me try on last night in the lab. Why had I said all of that horrible stuff to him? What was wrong with me?

I felt sick.

The bus pulled up to an empty bus stop in front of a patch of woods. It was raining a little and I considered waiting under the glass roof until it stopped, but there was a man asleep on the bench. I didn't want to be around him. I didn't want to be around anyone. So I just started walking.

"You brought your guidance chip right?" I asked, as GIR trotted along beside me. He nodded. "Good. Take us to 775 Oak Street."

As we walked, I regretted not wearing my hoodie- it would have kept me warm and dry- but I had chosen my old trenchcoat instead, with a faded blue shirt that had an apathetic smiley face on it. I don't even know where I got that thing, but I wore it almost every day back in sixth grade. Zim was the only who noticed when I stopped. Much like dogs and cats, change freaked him out. He spent days demanding what I meant by "changing my uniform" and screaming that my plan was never going to work. Even now, I found myself smiling at the memory.

Anyway, I don't know why I had to wear it. It just felt right, I guess.

As we walked, GIR got sidetracked a couple times- first by a puddle, then by a squirrel- and I began to wonder how Zim got him to do  _anything._ It was a miracle that GIR didn't screw up his plans more often than he already did. Why bother keeping a robot that was so broken? His master was mortal danger and yet he was lying on the ground, poking at a snail that was inching across the sidewalk.

"Maybe we could hurry it up a little?" I suggested. The flatness of my voice didn't even surprise me anymore. "Zim's in trouble, you know. Aren't you even a little concerned?"

"Nooo." GIR rolled over, watching the snail upside down.

Sadness pricked me, like the point of tiny needle. Stupid me for thinking the robot Zim pampered actually cared about him, right? But I decided to shrug it off. Chances are, he probably didn't even understand the question.

But I still yanked the leash a little harder than I should have. He toppled off the curb and crashed into the street.

"Let's go." I snarled.

After that, he led the way without any problems and we finally arrived at a house that seemed to be falling apart. The roof slanted, like it was about to collapse and the windows were half boarded with long planks of wood arranged in demented criss-cross patterns. I stared at it and the overgrown lawn for a long time.

"This is 775?" I asked, in disbelief. "Does anyone even live here?"

GIR smacked the side of his head a couple times and then pointed at another house, right next door. It was a normal, two story house with soft white walls and a dark, shingled roof.

775 Oak Street was written above the garage in a neat script, like it had been painted on with a brush.

My heart leapt into my throat. My gaze shot back to the ruined house with the overgrown lawn. In the crooked remains of the mailbox, I could see peeling numbers that read 777. That was the maniac's house. It had to be.

And that meant Zim was close.

It took every ounce of self control I had not to go running up to the house. If I was going to succeed, I needed a plan. I couldn't just barge in without any information the way I used to sneak into Zim's house when I was kid. Back then, when I was caught, I knew the worst thing that would happen was that Zim would toss me back out or maybe have his gnomes zap me once or twice. This time, I could get impaled with knife through my eye like that lady they found at the coffee shop. I needed to see Squee first and make a plan.

"I'm coming for you." I whispered. "I promise."

The house stood silent under the cloudy sky. I forced myself to turn away from it and began the long walk up to Squee's house. There were lights that led the way up the path which glowed a soft white like they would keep anything on the other side of the lawn at bay. I hoped that was true.

I stood for a few moments on the porch to collect myself before I knocked on the door. It opened and a woman stood there, blinking at me like the sun was shining directly in her eyes, even though it was cloudy.

"Hi." I said, realizing I didn't prepare anything to say. So I stuck out my hand for her to shake. She just stared at it, so I put it back down again. "My name is Dib. I'm a paranormal investigator."

"Are you here to ask about the aliens?" she whispered.

"No, actually. Umm, you've seen aliens though? How would you describe- Wait, nevermind. I've  _really_  got to stay on task here. Is your son home?"

There was a long pause as she scrunched her eyes in thought. Her skin was sickly pale and pocked with purplish pimples and her eyes were a faded blue.

"I don't have a son." she said, after a while.

"You don't?" Could Squee have gotten the address wrong? It wasn't likely. "Isn't there a little kid who lives here?"

"No, sorry."

"Who are you talking to?" A man suddenly appeared behind her. "You know you're not supposed to answer the door." Then he glared at me. "What do you want?"

I decided to cut to the point this time. "I'm looking for a little kid."

"Are you the homicidal maniac?"

"Umm... no?"

"Damn. Guess I'll keep praying then. Anyway, he's on second floor- first room on the right. Said he was going to bed early or something."

He steered the woman away from the door as I entered, with GIR trotting along after me.

"What a nice boy." the woman's voice floated down the hallway as they departed. "I wish we could have a son someday."

I stood for a while in the hallway, expecting them to march back and question me. They never came.

That familiar, boiling anger I felt back in the alley rose inside me again. Dad would  _never_  let a stranger just walk into the house like that. Even Gaz, in her best moments of apathetic glory, would have slammed the door shut. I wanted to scream at them to come back, but I bit the urge down. I couldn't risk getting kicked out; Zim was counting on me.

So I focused my attention to the stairs and began climbing. It amazed me how bare the walls were. No framed holiday pictures or vacation photos- just a long, empty wall. That depressed me and I forced myself to look forward instead. Eventually, the stairs gave way to a long, equally bare hallway. If I didn't have instructions, I wouldn't have guessed which room to check at all. It was as plain as everything else.

"Watchu waiting for?" GIR asked, as I stood in front of the door.

My hand was raised into a fist as I prepared to knock. I lowered it for a moment. "I… I don't know. Maybe this is a mistake. I don't want to involve him anymore than I already have, y'know? He's just a kid."

"Master says  _you're_  a kid and you do lots of stuff!"

I scowled. "I'm not a kid. But yeah, I guess I do a lot of things I shouldn't do. This is different, I guess. This monster- the residue or whatever Zim said it was- is really dangerous. I just… I don't know that I'm doing the right thing."

Suddenly, I found myself wishing that Nny was here again. I could almost picture him leaning up against the wall, philosophically musing about my conflict. The thought of it made me almost made me smile. If he was here, he would help me rescue Zim. And then we could stop the maniac together and finally end this stupid nightmare.

Of course, Nny wasn't here. I didn't know where he was. I just had to trust in the promise he made me, a long time ago in that café.  _When the time comes, I'll find you. I always do._

Until then, I was on my own.

"What do you think, GIR? What should I do?"

The robot stared at the floor for a long time and I watched him in anticipation. Then, very slowly, he lifted his head and looked me right in the eyes.

"Wut?" he said.

A small migraine started building up in my head. I rubbed the bridge of my nose to soothe it. Why had I expected anything else? "Yeah, okay. I'm just going to knock now." And so I did. "Squee?" I called. "Are you there?"

No response.

"Squee! It's me, Dib!"

Still no response.

Maybe he was sleeping. I turned the knob and tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

My heart began to beat. Why was this happening? I threw all of my weight against it. I kicked it. I backed up and ran into it. I got nothing for all of my efforts but a throbbing shoulder.

_No,_ I thought,  _Please, please no..._  Was it possible something had gotten to him first? Panic began to well inside me.

"Squee!" I threw my weight against the door again. It budged, just slightly. There was something blocking it. "GIR, help me!"

The dog cocked his head. "We gonna dance?"

"For once in your life, be helpful! This is serious!" The panic rose again and I shoved against the door but it wasn't moving anymore. I forced myself to think. Zim somehow got the robot to do things. How? "GIR! I'm ORDERING you to help me!" The little green dog stared at me. "GIR, I-" An idea struck me. "GIR, there's a taco in that room! If you help me open the door, you can have it!"

The robot seized the hood of his costume and threw it back. His usually blue eyes had turned red.

He held up a stubby hand. "Initiating laser in three, two- IMMEDIATELY!"

I just dived out of the way and as a red laser burst through the plush hand of his costume and sliced through the hinges of the door. Then he seized the knob and tugged the whole door away, tossing it down the hall where it crashed somewhere in the distance.

His eyes flashed back to blue. "Toys!" he squeaked in delight.

Groaning, I got to my feet. Now I could see what had been blocking the door. There was a huge pile of toys and furniture there, forming a haphazard barricade. As GIR dove into the pile, I ran a hand along the back of a chair that must have been propped up under the knob. How long had Squee been working on this?

What had he been trying to keep out?

The flutter of curtains caught my eye. There was a window on the other side of the room, which was broken. Thunder rumbled somewhere in the distance. I stumbled over the remains of the barricade and looked around. Drawers were hanging open and things were scattered across the floor. Then I noticed a familiar teddy bear, it's head still smiling me, it's body torn into various pieces that were scattered across the room.

What had happened here? My mind flashed back to this morning when I walked into Zim's house and that same feeling a dread and guilt washed over me. I should have come here earlier. I thought I had more time!

"Squee!" I tried not to scream, but I couldn't help it. "TODD! Are you here?!"

Then I heard a sound. It was soft and faint, but unmistakable  _squee._

I paused, trying to hear what direction it had come from. It was close, but  _where_? Then I realized I was standing near the bed. Heart thumping in my chest, I crouched down and flattened myself along the floor.

It took my eyes a moment to adjust, but I could a small trembling figure curled up into a ball. His eyes watched me, wide with terror. He clutched something in his hands. I realized it was knife, like the kind you might use to slice a ham at dinner.

"Hey." I tried to soften my voice but instead it just shook. Taking a deep breath, I tried again. "Are you okay?"

His eyes flickered to me. His tiny chest heaved with panicked breaths and he whimpered.

"Todd? It's me, Dib. Remember? Nothing is going hurt you while I'm here, okay?" I started to inch towards him. "You're safe now."

"Here!" He choked out.

"Huh?"

"H-Here! They're still here!"

Before I could react, something struck me across the back of the head. As my vision exploded into a thousand pieces, I felt myself being tugged backwards and shoved back onto the floor. I skidded across the floor and crashed against a dresser onto the other side of the room.

"No!" I heard Squee scream. I saw him scramble out from under the bed. "Don't kill him!"

" _Kill_  him?!" A voice cackled. "Why would we  _kill_  him? He's our ticket out of this nightmare!"

**XXX**

Have you ever seen the Pillsbury Doughboy?

In case you didn't know, he's the mascot for a company that makes baking mixes and the refrigerated croissant doughs. He's a little, ghostly white person with a chef's hat, an obnoxiously cheerful smile and wide blue eyes.

I always thought he was a bit a creepy looking. In the commercials, he would hang out with some family that was using his products, chatting with them in his weird high-pitched voice until someone poked his stomach and he exploded with giggling laughter. Those commercials just typified everything that was  _wrong_  with humanity, in my opinion. Nobody questioned the doughboy. They just accepted that there was a little doughman hanging out on the kitchen table like it was just a family tradition. Didn't any of them ever think to themselves "hey, that's a little weird!" before asking for the mashed potatoes?

I have now revised my opinion on those people. Because as two, ghostly white figures emerged from the darkness, I wanted to pretend like they weren't there either.

They were Doughboys, I could tell by the chef hats, but something had gone horribly wrong. It was like some insane child had taken a black marker and just doodled all over them.

"What…" I struggled to keep conscious. "What  _are_  you?"

One with the arrows ringed around his eyes grinned as he dropped the baseball bat he had been holding "Isn't  _that_ a good question? On a literal level, I would say we're styrofoam and paint, just like that bear," He pointed to Schmee's remains, "is stuffing and fabric. But you want to know what gives us life, what  _animates_  us, and isn't that a stupid question when you know the answer?"

I knew the answer, but I didn't say it. I scrambled backwards as they walked towards me, ignoring the throbbing pain on the back of my head. My back hit the dresser and it wobbled.

The one with eyes that were maddening spirals gazed at me. "I suppose you could call us side-effects. Those who are exposed to The Master for too long will find that the voices in their head are no longer theirs."

The other one grinned. "We were created by a demented man out of loneliness and The Master used that longing and gave us life. We began as mere thoughts, but now we live on our own!"

"It's dreary. Life is a constant exercise in pain."

"I'm Mr. Eff, by the way. My cheerful friend there is Psychodoughboy. And you-" They came to a stop just in front of me. "-are our ticket to freedom!"

My eyes scanned the room. I could see Squee, cowered against the side of his bed, his face pale with terror. He was safe, at least.

Mr. Eff leaned forward, blocking my view. His empty eyes were wide with excitement. "Sorry about the rough greeting. You caught us by surprise! The brat was pretty naughty last night, telling you where we lived! We didn't want to know that yet. We're still getting to know you, see? Sowing the seeds, so to speak. We can't have him go about blabbing all of our secrets!"

"There is not much my associate and I agree on." Psychodoughboy added, "But we both do not like  _complications_. In fact, that is the very reason we have sought you out in the first place. We need your assistance with a particular  _complication_ that is starting to get on our nerves."

Sought me out? I had millions of questions, but I didn't ask any of them. Something eager in their weird, scribbled eyes told me that's exactly what they wanted. I wasn't going to take the bait so easily. "I don't know what your plans are." I forced confidence into my voice. "But I'm not helping you with anything!"

"Dib, Dib,  _Dibby_ , Dib." Mr. Eff shook his head. I didn't bother to ask how he knew my name. "You're acting like we're your enemies or something! Granted, we just bonked you with a baseball bat but  _that_ shouldn't cloud your judgment of us! It's true we need you to help us, but you forget that we also want to help you! We have a common enemy!"

A common enemy? The confusion must have shown on my face.

"I thought you were an investigator!" Psychodoughboy sneered. "We're referring to the maniac, you fool!"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You said you were part of the monster! Isn't the monster the thing  _controlling_ the manic?!"

"In theory, yes. But he's becoming difficult and The Master is growing impatient with him."

" _We're_  growing impatient with him!" Mr. Eff exclaimed. "His angsty bullshit is really getting me down. It's in  _my_  best interest for him to remain alive, and sometimes even I want to kill him! Do you know how much self-restraint that takes?"

The pain was making it difficult for me to focus, so I squeezed my eyes shut to block out their words. Their voices slithered around me like snakes.

"He has been neglecting his duties. The Master is hungry and he doesn't even care. I cannot stand by and watch this kind of neglect. I thought he would he would kill himself, but suddenly all of that has gone to shit! He's stubbornly clinging to life now!"

"Which would be good for me, except that not feeding The Master is making us weak! I want to be free of this whole mess! But he just isn't cooperating! We need someone new…"

"Someone who has nobody to live for…"

"Or rather, someone who stubbornly persists in one single-minded pursuit…"

"… a person with inner darkness just waiting to be tapped…"

"… like a vein of oil…"

"… or an oasis of despair!"

"The point is," Mr. Eff finished and his voice actually softened."We  _need_  you, Dib."

I opened my eyes and found both of them staring at me, so pale in the darkness that had descended upon the room. Shadows clouded the window like fog. "To do what?" I asked.

He crouched down to look me in the eyes. "We need you to kill The Master's wastelock and take his place!"

I leaned forward onto my knees, pretending like I was going to pass out. In actuality, while my head still throbbed from the impact and I did feel light-headed, I wanted to get into a position where I could move. Maybe not stand, but at least crawl. When they weren't speaking, the doughboys stood still like they had never moved at all. But I knew they were watching my every movement.

I placed a hand on the floor to brace myself. "What if…" The world was spinning.  _Stay awake_ , I thought. "What if I don't want to?"

"Nobody is  _making_ you do anything that you don't want to." said Psychodoughboy. It made me sick to look into his swirling eyes, so I avoided them. "We are merely pointing out how beneficial it might be for you to cooperate with us."

"Is that a threat?"

"No. Just an observation. The maniac has something that you want, after all."

Of course, I knew what he meant. I tried not to let the interest show on my face. I kept my voice cool and emotionless. "The maniac can keep him for all I care. He'd be doing me a favor. Zim's trying to destroy the Earth, you know."

Psychodoughboy just shrugged. I glanced towards where Mr. Eff stood- or rather  _had_ stood.

A voice spoke in my ear. "You can't lie to us, Dib! We've been inside your mind."

I froze.

"He called for you, you know. Our little maniac had him cornered in the kitchen. He was wounded and alone. He screamed for you until he was tazed and even then he screamed your name until he fell unconscious. I wonder if he wanted your help or if he was trying to warn you, even though you were so far away? Even now, he keeps looking at the door like he's expecting to see you running to his rescue."

I tried to take all of that with a grain of salt. They were manipulating me. I couldn't trust them. And yet I knew, as much as they were twisting the details, that there was the tiniest sliver of truth in their words. Zim  _was_  waiting for me. I knew this because if our roles were reversed, I- against all of my better judgment- would be waiting for him too.

The thought made me sick.

"He's running really short on time, Dib. If you're going to rescue him, you had better do it now! We can help you. Come with us."

"No." I snarled.

Then I felt him seize a handful of my hair and he gave a sharp tug. Pain exploded across the back of my head.

"Let go!" I cried, but struggling only made it worse. "LET GO!"

"If you'd just come with us, you would-"

Something whizzed past my face and Mr. Eff screamed. The grip on my hair released and I fell forward, head pounding and looked up just in time to see Mr. Eff struggling to tug a knife out of his face. Psychodoughboy shrieked with laughter as I took advantage of the distraction, scrambling forward to where Squee stood, pale and trembling, his hand still half-raised from the throw.

Mr. Eff pulled the knife out and tossed it away. I heard it clatter to the floor somewhere in the distance. "You stupid little fuck!" Then, to Psychodoughboy, he snapped. " _You_  shut your fucking face!"

I pulled myself onto my feet using the post of the bed, gritting my teeth against the pain and dizziness. Mr. Eff approached, his grin turned into a snarl. Psychodoughboy said something in a low voice, but he waved a stubby hand to dismiss him. "Let's get rid of the complication first!"

The entire room darkened. I clutched my throbbing back of my head with one hand and shoved Squee behind me with the other until we were cornered against the wall. The little boy screamed for help, clinging to my jacket, and that was all I could hear as Mr. Eff loomed over us.

My jacket was nearly ripped off as the little boy was suddenly jerked away by Psychodoughboy, who had appeared at his side. He screamed, louder now. I whirled around and seized his arms and in the flashes of light that still shone from the window I caught glimpses of his white face- eyes wide with terror- as Psychodoughboy pulled at his arm. Ignoring the pain in my head, I gritted my teeth and held tight, trying to tug him back.

"Enough of that!" Mr. Eff's voice, suddenly course, sounded in my ear.

He swung at me again with the baseball bat, this time striking my side and cracking against my ribs. Squee screamed as I hit the wall and crashed against the window. My head spun, disoriented.

"H-Help!" I croaked. I threw up my hand as he leaned over me, the bat raised for another strike. "HELP!"

I don't know who I was calling to- Zim was a prisoner, Nny was gone, Gaz was mad at me and Dad didn't even know where I was. It just been a desperate reflex. But as soon as the words left my lips, I caught a glimpse of something in the corner of my eye.

Two glowing red eyes.

The room exploded with light. I heard a surprised yelp from Mr. Eff as the bat clattered to the floor. Squee broke free of Psychodoughboy's grip and ran back to me. We huddled together as something silver stepped into front of us.

"SUBJECT DIB IS CLASSIFIED AS AN ALLY OF THE MASTER!" GIR's blazing eyes lit up the room like a flare in the sky. Mr. Eff had lost an arm, the stub of which was still smoking, while Psychodoughboy watched in gleeful delight. "PROTECTION PROTOCOL ACTIVATED! DOOM IMPENDING IN THREE, TWO, ONE…"

He held up a hand and a laser shot across the room. The doughboys screamed. I squeezed my eyes shut against the blaring light and felt air rush past my face as the window shattered above us.

When I opened my eyes again, the daylight had returned. Everything was silent. GIR stood at the window, glowing a cheerful blue once again, watching something below. I pulled myself up on the frame, as Squee clung to my arm, and we both followed his gaze.

The lawn and the street beyond it looked empty, as if nothing had been there at all.

As I took a deep breath, the pain shot up the back of my head- nearly toppling me over. I tightened my grip on Squee, who clung to me. I could hear his quick, gasping breaths.  _You're okay,_ I wanted to say but I couldn't. So we both stood there, staring at the broken window and the clear blue sky behind it.

I flinched when I felt something brush up against me. But it was just GIR, who poked at a piece of jagged glass until fell and shattered on the ground below. The sun shone off his silver body and revealing dents and scuffs I had never noticed before.

"You saved us." My voice was hoarse, and I coughed to clear it. "Why?"

GIR nudged off another piece. It crashed somewhere, but I never looked to see. "To help master!"

"To help Zim? You said… you said you aren't even worried about him."

"Yup!"

My head was spinning. "So, you were lying?"

"Nooo..."

"I  _really_ don't understand."

GIR's blue gaze turned to me. His head tilted, just a little. "Well you gonna save him, right?"

Then he held up tiny toy moose and squeaked it. He waited for a response but I just stared at him in astonishment. So he shrugged and wandered off- giggling and squeaking the toy as he went.

"Are you okay?" I asked Squee, trying to stand up straight. Instead, I had to lean against the windowsill for support. "I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

"I'm fine." The little boy averted his eyes, but I could see that his entire body was trembling. "But if you didn't come…"

He trailed off. Neither of us wanted to finish that sentence.

As my heart returned to a normal pace, I held a hand to the back of my head. When I poked at the tender skin, pain shuddered through my body. I winced- that was going to hurt for a while. I didn't even want to think about the concussion I was probably having.

Squee looked faint at the sight of it. "I'll get ice."

As he scurried off, I sank to the floor and sat beneath the window, ignoring the broken glass that sparkled around me.  _What are you waiting for, human?_ I could almost hear Zim demanding,  _You're wasting time!_

My stomach twisted at Mr. Eff's words- the thought of Zim, trapped in the maniac's house, his eyes flittering to the door every time he heard a floorboard creak. The skool wasn't going to call the police if he was missing, his leaders weren't going to send a rescue ship- he had no one but me to save him. I couldn't let him down.

Not again…

Squee returned with an ice pack, wrapped in a paper towel. I thanked him as I took it.

"This is going to sound crazy," I said and pressed the cold ice against the back of my head. It took all of my self-restraint not to gasp from the pain. "But I need to get into your neighbor's basement."

"The scary neighbor man's basement?!" The color drained out of Squee's face. "But you can't! It's too dangerous!"

It was getting hard to form words. "I don't have a choice. Your neighbor has kidnapped someone and I need to rescue him before something bad happens. Do you know how I can get inside?"

Squee said nothing for a long time and I thought he might never answer me. Then, with great reluctance, he murmured. "There's a tunnel downstairs. I'll show you where it is."

"Perfect." The pain in my head was immense now and I could feel the room breaking away into pieces. "Just give a minute to pull myself together and we'll go check it out."

And that's when I fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Dreamtime on Friday!


	13. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry for the early post everybody! I'll be out for the rest of the day and I know I won't have a chance to do it later. Anyway, here's our last Dreamtime before Dib goes into "The Basement". It's all downhill from here, folks!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own a copy of Turtles All the Way Down because my preorder is here! That's… not really funny but whatever, I'm excited to read it.

_In front of The Wall, there was a knife._

_I knelt down to examine it. In the polished silver blade, I could see the crusted, peeling surface of the concrete. I reached out a hand to pick it up, but stopped short. Somehow, I knew that once I held it, I would never put it down again._

_**Why do you hesitate, human?**_   _a voice crept down my neck._ _ **Isn't this what you always wanted?**_

_"Zim?!" I spun around, but the room was empty._

_**What did our vile, disgusting maniac accomplish with these abilities?**_   _His voice echoed from every direction._ _ **Nothing!**_   _ **The worm didn't appreciate the gifts he was given. He squandered them to get petty revenge on some irksome fools who weren't even worth the effort!**_

"Abilities? What are you talking about?!"

_**Why, the very same abilities that drew you to this mystery in the first place...** _

_Of course. I remembered those early news clippings: how the maniac could kill in daylight and never get caught, how video went to static when he walked into a room and pictures became instantly blurry. Witnesses forgot his face, escaped victims forgot his name and address. The police lost paperwork and evidence related to his case on a daily basis._

_Something is watching out for him, Nny had suggested._

_Something cosmic was bending the rules._

_**Invulnerability.** _ _Zim's voice swirled around me._ _**Infinite power. Freedom from consequences. These are the perks of being a wastelock. The more psychic residue a person absorbs, the more powerful he becomes.** _

" _But you said that wastelocks also go insane!"_

_**Insane? No. You misunderstood me. Wastelocks think differently than others, of course, but why is that bad? The best ideas come from unexpected places and yet people are so quick to label things that they don't understand as "crazy" or "insane". You know that better than anyone, don't you?** _

" _Zim, I don't care about this." I wheeled around, looking for the source of the voice. The Wall began to crack behind me. "I just want to know that you're alive!"_

_**I'm more alive than I've ever been.** _

" _What's that supposed to mean?!"_

_**Listen carefully, my little Dib. You will soon be presented a choice and you must consider all of the possibilities before you make your decision. Think about everything we could accomplish! We possess the ambition and the clarity of vision: imagination is our only limit.** _

_"That doesn't make sense! What choice?!" I started forward, but the floorboards fell away, spiraling into the dark void below. I backed towards The Wall. "Look, I don't know what's going on but I'm coming to get you alright?! Just hang in there!"_

_I slammed into someone. Before I could turn around, I felt sharp claws gripping my throat._

_**Hurry.**_   _Zim whispered,_ _ **I'm waiting...**_

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! See ya'll on Monday!


	14. The Basement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright everyone, quick announcement before we get started!
> 
> Now that we’re getting down to “The Basement”, I updated the content warnings. I’ll also put the warning here: there’s going to be violence and death in this one. This shouldn’t be surprising for the JTHM fans- considering the whole concept of “The Basement” and JTHM in general- but I still wanted to give everyone the heads up. So, you know, reader discretion is advised.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own a nice collection of sweaters but it's still too hot to wear them. But once it gets cold, you better believe I'll be out frolicking through a field of pumpkin spice while garbed in a cozy sweater and knee-length boots as my hand-knitted scarf flutters behind me in the wind.

**agent_mothman:** gaz plz don't be mad. i need u.  
**agent_mothman:** i think I'm in way too over my head with this.  
**agent_mothman:** i should have listened to u  
**agent_mothman:** i'm sorry  
**agent_mothman:** i'm so sorry  
**agent_mothman:** i know u wish i was different. sometimes i wish i was different too.  
**agent_mothman:** i know im annoying and loud and maybe too obsessed with zim. there's a reason ur my only friend  
**agent_mothman:** i don't know that im going to survive this tbh.  
**agent_mothman:** i just want u to know that i love u gaz. ur a good sister and i really should have been a better brother.  
**agent_mothman:** thanks for putting up with me.  
**agent_mothman:** tell dad i love him, ok?

**XXX**

I tugged on the string and the basement flooded with a dull, white light. In between flickers, I could just make out a hole in the floor behind a few, stacked boxes. As I crouched down to look at it, the swollen bruise on the back of my head throbbed. I winced.

"Are you okay?" Squee stood at the bottom of the steps, wringing a piece of fluff from his teddy bear in his hands.

"I'm fine."

"I think you should rest more."

"I said I'm  _fine_!" I snapped, and he flinched. Jesus, what was wrong me? A headache crept up into the back of my skull, reminding me- with each painful thump- of each and every minute I had lost of sleep. When I spoke again, I made an effort to soften my voice. "Thanks, but I really am okay.  _Everything_  is okay, so don't worry. I've got it all under control."

It's weird when you can hear the lie in your own voice.

Squee nodded at first, but then said: "I don't think you should go. The creepy guys  _want_  you to do that. I… I think it's a trap."

"It's definitely a trap." I agreed, shining my flashlight down the tunnel. It bounced along the walls, revealing no visible bottom. "But I don't have another choice. Zim is running out of time."

Squee's soft footsteps creaked across the room. When I turned, he stood behind me, staring into the darkness. "Who is he?"

"Zim? Err, well… he's an alien that's trying to destroy the Earth." By Squee's shocked expression, I braced myself for inevitable  _you're crazy!_

"Why are you trying to save him then?!" Squee cried. "He's evil!"

Despite his terror, I could have hugged him. "He's not… well, yeah he's pretty evil."

"Like the scary neighbor man?!"

"No! Well, yes? It's hard to explain. He's evil but he's on our side. Right now. Until he isn't." Squee just stared at me in horror, so I tried again. "Look, Zim... he's important to me, okay? Kind of like the way Schmee is to you. And the last time we talked, I said some really bad things to him that I never got to apologize for. He needed my help but I hurt him instead. Now he needs me again, and this time I want to make things right."

 _Make things right?_ I could almost hear Zim's cold laughter.  _Are you going to try to_ _ **help**_   _me, little Dib? You can't even help yourself!_

I was distracted from my thoughts as Squee crouched down beside me. "I think I understand." Then, he took a deep breath. "We gotta be reeeaaally fast, though! I don't think the scary neighbor man will be happy if he catches us! Umm, I don't think he's ever happy actually…"

Suddenly, I felt like I had just been pushed into a well of cold water.

"We?!" I cried, " _Us?!_  Hold on, do you think you're coming with me?!"

Squee looked puzzled. "Yes?"

"Yeah, that's not happening! There's no way I'm taking a little kid into the torture den of a serial killer! You're going to stay here where it's safe."

"But I  _want_  to go! There are scary things here!"

"Don't worry, GIR will stay with you."

"He's  _one_  of the scary things!" Squee glanced nervously at GIR, who was hiding in a box and giggling. Then he looked back at me. "And what if the spooky people come back?! Schmee says if they catch me they're going to hurt me!"

He had a point. If I left, Squee would be vulnerable if Mr. Eff and Psychodoughboy decided to pay him another visit. And GIR wasn't exactly a reliable source of protection. I wasn't even sure I could trust him with the tiny, but vital part of the plan I had already assigned to him.

"Squee, listen." I took him by the shoulders, forcing him to look at me. "You're a smart kid. I know you've seen all of those stories on the news. Your neighbor has hurt a lot of people and if he catches us… well, I can't promise that you'll be safe. That's why it's better that you stay here, alright?"

He mumbled something.

"What?"

Then he looked back up at me. "I said, who's going to keep  _you_  safe?"

I didn't have a good answer for that. Dad didn't know what I was doing. Gaz didn't know where I was, which was the way I wanted it to stay. Despite all of our differences, if I was in really trouble, I knew that Gaz would come after me. I didn't want to take the chance of her running into the maniac.

"I have to keep myself safe, I guess." Then, I lightened my voice. "I'm used to that, though. This isn't the first dangerous thing I've ever done."

"This is different." Squee said. His voice was so soft I could barely hear him. "Pepito said this monster is really, really bad. And it's my fault that it's after you. It's  _my_ fault that the scary neighbor man is going to hurt your… um… alien enemy person."

"Squee, it's really not your-"

"It is! You said you wanted to help Zim so you could make things right, didn't you? Now it's my turn! I wanna help make things right too, okay? So I'm going to go with you and make sure  _you're_  safe!"

He met my surprised look with one of quiet determination. It was the same look on my face when I used to announce to Dad that I  _had_ to go explore that old haunted house. I never understood why Dad hesitated so much when I wanted to do these things.  _I_ knew I could handle it, why didn't he trust my judgment? Now I knew. Now I saw what my Dad saw: a small, vulnerable child.

And, like my Dad, I also had a decision to make.

"Okay." I said, taking a deep breath. I hoped I wouldn't regret this. "You can come. But you have to stay close to me and do everything that I tell you, alright?"

Squee nodded, a shot of fear briefly overriding his courage.

I glanced my watch. The encounter with the doughboys had lost me a lot of time. If we were going to do this, it had to be now. After briefing Squee one last time on the emergency escape plan, I lifted up cardboard box to reveal GIR who had changed back into his green dog suit.

"My house!" He protested.

"Do you remember what you're supposed to do?" I crossed my arms. GIR stared at me, like I had just spoken in another language. "GIR, come on! I  _really_  need you to focus here!"

"Imma ring the doorbell!"

"When…?"

He whimpered and his eyes darted back and forth like he was searching the room for an answer.

I sighed, handing him my phone. "You're going to ring the doorbell after Squee texts you. When the maniac leaves to answer the door, you're going to keep him distracted long enough for us to grab Zim and get back to tunnel. If we're lucky, the maniac won't be home and you won't have to do anything at all."

GIR cocked his head. "Brain Freezies?"

"Are you  _seriously_  still thinking about that?!"

He shook his head. Then, after a moment of hesitation, he nodded.

If my head didn't hurt so much already, I would have face-palmed. "Fine, whatever. If we get out of this alive, we'll get Brain Freezies. Deal?"

The robot flashed me a thumbs up.  _We're all doomed_ , I thought.

Well, there was no reason to put it off anymore. After taking a deep breath to steady my shaking hands, I began to climb down the ladder and Squee followed.

The darkness swallowed us.

**XXX**

I don't know how long the tunnel went on for.

I felt like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Except, instead of falling, I held the ladder so tightly I was afraid I might split a knuckle. The sound of my shoes scuffing the metal with each new rung reverberated across the darkness. Something dripped somewhere in the distance. I hoped it was water.

"Is there a bottom yet?" Squee whispered, somewhere above me. I could hear from his voice that he was getting tired.

I shook my head. Then, remembering he couldn't see me, I added: "No, but we have to hit the ground soon. It can't be that deep."

"It might be. The scary neighbor man said his basement was a labyrinth of eternal madness or… umm… something like that, I think. He said it was annoying when he had to do spring cleaning."

"Does the… err…  _scary neighbor man_  come to visit you a lot?"

"Yeah, but not much lately. Before he fixed the tunnel, he used to come through my window and ask for bandaids." He must have sensed the horror in my voice, because he added: "He says he doesn't wanna hurt me. He's even been teaching me to throw knives and stuff."

"The  _maniac_ taught you to throw knives?!" I recalled that knife, impaling Mr. Eff like he had a target painted on his face. How many hours had innocent little Squee been alone with a psychotic serial killer learning that trick? I didn't even want to think about it.

"Uh-huh! He didn't really ask me if I wanted to or anything... he just kind of showed up one day and said we were going to practice. You have to hurt the bad things before they hurt you, he said. Then he made me skin a bunny. I threw up a lot." Then he paused, both speaking and climbing. I stopped too and the entire tunnel fell silent for a moment. "Dib? You're not going to kill him, are you?"

The question hadn't even occurred to me. Jesus, what kind of hero am I? I  _should_  be trying to kill the maniac, right? His killing spree needed to end and the police weren't going to do it. How else would he be stopped? But I decided to put that question aside for the moment. I could deal with it  _after_ I had rescued Zim. He would know how to handle it. "We won't have any contact with him at all if everything goes according to plan."

Squee's tone brightened. "There's a plan?"

"Err,  _kind_ of? I tend to wing these things."

"Oh." The hope in his voice died in the way a flame is blown from a candle.

I scrambled for comforting words. "But hey, I usually succeed! The world hasn't been taken over by aliens yet, right? I mean, unless you believe the theory that aliens have been secretly shaping our society throughout human history which I did see a  _really_ compelling documentary about- uh, but that's not important right now. We're going to be fine, okay?"

Silence. Maybe he had nodded. Or maybe, he just didn't know what to say. Either way, we continued our long descent.

Not much longer after that, we reached the bottom. My heart leapt into my chest as my foot scraped against the solid ground. I called a warning up to Squee and helped him down the final rungs of the ladder. Then, I turned on the flashlight to reveal a long tunnel before us. The buzzing of flies echoed across the walls. A strong stench burned my eyes and I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket to block it.

"Something died down here…" Squee murmured and his voice sounded so faint I was afraid he was about to pass out.

I tried to keep my voice light. "Probably just a rat."

We began walking.

The white beam of the flashlight shook as we walked and I tried to keep it steady, but my hands were shaking. It bounced off crumbling stone walls and I kept imagining that it would catch a glimpse of a silhouette, running towards us, but the tunnel remained empty. Finally, it reached what appeared to be a metal grate and there was a dim, but natural, light coming from the room ahead.

Then came the scream.

It didn't sound like Zim; it was a man's voice. Both Squee and I stumbled backwards and in the excitement, I dropped my flashlight in the water below. It splashed somewhere to the floor. Squee gripped my arm and I heard his muffled whimper as he buried his face into my sleeve, trying to bite back a scream. The voice flared and then died away, leaving us in cold, heart-pounding silence.

At this point, I whispered to Squee to turn back but he wouldn't release his death grip on my coat. So we just stood there for what seemed like ages, standing and listening, but no sound came from the room beyond. Finally, I gathered up enough courage to fish out the flashlight and click it off.

"It didn't sound close." I said, once I thought I could speak. Squee didn't answer. "I'm going to take a look at the room okay? I want you to stay here until I'm sure it's safe."

I didn't need to tell him twice. He huddled against the wall, hugging his knees to his chest like he was ready to flop over in the fetal position, as I began push against the grate. Evidently it had been loosened in the past and crashed to the floor.

I winced at the metallic clang but when I didn't hear anything, I crawled out and glanced around the room. It had bare, concrete walls and a wooden floor with barely nailed in planks. Then I saw it.

The Wall.

Or at least, it looked like The Wall. It was large and painted with crusted, red blood. Cautiously, I touched it. It was so dry I could probably scrape it off with my nail. Since it wasn't cracking open, I ventured to lay and hand against it. It felt cold, like a normal blood covered wall. Not that blood covered walls were a regular occurrence, but you know what I mean. It didn't have the same feeling I had in the treehouse, that dizzying feeling that something was still lurking there.

The creature had moved, most likely to a different part of the house. But where?

"Dib?" asked a shaking voice.

I spun around at the mention of my name.

"It's Dib, right?" The woman said again, with an edge of desperation in her tone. It took me a moment to recognize her. It was the woman from the coffee shop, the shiny glasses now hanging askew on her face. The moaning and the stench of burning skin belonged to her companion, who hung next to her.

I remembered him right away.

They were hanging, strapped to some sort of mechanical contraption that sparked every once in awhile. Dillon hung limply but the woman was awake, struggling against her bonds.

"How?" was all I could say.

If I had taken the time to think about it, I suppose it made sense that they were there. Considering the maniac seemed to target anyone, or anything, that even slightly provoked his wrath, it wouldn't hard imagining one snide, asshole comment from Dillon setting him off. Still, it made my stomach sick to see someone I knew, even from an unpleasant encounter for a couple minutes, hanging from wall in the den of a homicidal maniac.

"It happened right after we left the café." Her voice trembled as she spoke. "He followed us into the parking lot and he had some kind of a stun gun with him. I went down first and I think Dillon tried to run away but…" Then she trailed off. "Now we're both here."

I glanced at Dillon, whose would have been sprawled out on the floor if his hands weren't restrained above his head. He stank of burnt flesh and his head rolled in front of him, limp.

The woman- Tess, I think her name was- let out a choked sob. "Please, help us! I need to get him to a hospital!"

I'm ashamed to say that I hesitated.

I had come for Zim, after all. The plan was simple. Get in, get Zim and get out. I hadn't even entertained the thought that there might be other living victims there. A huge distraction could threaten the entire plan. What if the maniac came in as we were freeing them? Or what if their disappearance tipped him off that we were here?

 _You must be pragmatic to achieve your goals._ Zim's voice hissed in my mind.  _An indulgence like sympathy will get you killed. Remember the mission._

The mission. I had a mission. Freeing Tess and Dillon would be a risky move. It would be safer to free them on the way out, once I had ensured that Zim was safe. We would have to return to this room to get to the exit anyway.

But what if there wasn't enough time? What if we were being pursued by the maniac? Then what? Schedule another rescue mission for the future? Dillon could die by then.

 _So what?_ Zim would have said.  _Is that repulsive sack of burning meat worth risking your life for? You are a hero and heroes must make difficult decisions. Be strong!_

She must have seen the hesitation in my eyes. Her voice became panicked. "Please! Please, don't leave us here! I don't want to die!" I tried to steel myself against her voice, but her fear gave way into another sob. " _Please!_  I know I don't deserve to ask this from you! Dillon was so mean and I… I should have said something, but like a goddamned coward I didn't! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! But please, have mercy! I just want to go home…"

At that moment, the sound of metal snapped me back to reality. Squee climbed out of the grate, peering cautiously around the room before his eyes widened in horror at the sight of the two people, hanging there. His expression spurred me into action. What the hell was I thinking? I couldn't just leave two people here to suffer, no matter  _what_  the mission was. What was wrong with me?

"It's okay." I promised, hoping that extra earnestness could cover the guilt that rose within me. "We're going to get you guys down, alright? Squee, give me a hand."

 _This is a miscalculation you will regret, stink-boy._  the voice said, unbidden. I ignored it.

She thanked us over and over as I instructed Squee to release Dillon and began to work on Tess's restraints myself. The locks were difficult to undo, but didn't appear to need a key of any sort. Once I had freed her, I tried to persuade her to sit down but she insisted on helping us with Dillon. This was fortunate, as it took all three of us to lower him to the floor.

"Take that tunnel to the end." I said, pointing down the dark hole we had climbed out of. "It leads to the house next door, where you can call an ambulance."

She looked at me, in wide-eyed surprise. "You're not coming?"

"No. I came here to save someone. You didn't happen to see him bring in a weird looking green kid, did you?"

"I think I'd remember if he brought a kid." Tess said, hesitantly. "But he did walk through here early this morning, cursing to himself about  _something_. I was trying to get some sleep, so I didn't really look. I guess he could have been carrying someone."

"Where did he go?"

"Listen," she took me by the shoulders. "You kids really shouldn't be here. Why don't you guys come back with me and Dillon, okay? We'll call the police and they'll come help your friend."

"Tell me where he went." She said nothing for a while and it was difficult to read the expression in her eyes behind her smudged glasses. " _Please."_ I pressed.

Finally, she sighed and pointed at a doorway at the far end of the hall. I thanked her and then, with Squee by my side, began the long walk across the room. My heart pounded as we reached the doorway.

"Hey, Dib?" The sound of Tess's voice made me turn around. She knelt next to Dillon, who was spread out on the floor, but seemed to be stirring. She smiled. "Thanks… thanks for not being one of the assholes."

 _I almost left you here._ I wanted to say.  _I actually almost left you here to die._

But all I said was: "I try."

**XXX**

The room led out into a hallway, lined with wooden doors that seemed to stretch on into eternity. My heart sunk as soon as I saw it. We didn't have time to check each and every one of these rooms.

"How big is this place?" I whispered.

Squee peaked out from behind me to survey our surroundings. "He said it gets bigger every time he comes down here."

"So it's bigger on the inside? Like a TARDIS?" He stared at me. "Wow, you've never seen Doctor Who? If we survive this, we have to watch it! The time traveling mechanics are a little wonky, but The Doctor is such a great-"

"It's not bigger on the inside." Squee's voice was a soft whisper. "It's been growing. Like it's alive."

A shudder shot up my spine. As I followed Squee's gaze down the dark hallway, I couldn't shake the image that I was walking in a large, fang-lined mouth into an abyss. With each moment that passed, the vision of a future beyond this adventure dimmed like a fading photograph.

We had to find Zim.  _Now._

I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled: "ZIM!"

Squee glanced up at me in horror. We stood there for a moment, waiting to see if the maniac would burst out of one of the doors. I found myself praying- to God, Satan or Cthulhu, who knows? – that he had gone out to buy milk or something.

A few seconds passed and no maniac came. But I didn't hear anything from any of the rooms either. I motioned to Squee and we began walking. As we went, I decided to try again. "ZIM!"

Nothing, except the sound of our own footsteps, creaking along the halls.

I quickened my pace and Squee practically jogged to keep up. "ZIM! If you can hear me, make a sound or something!"

We paused for a moment. Nothing. I kept walking. Or at least I had started to, when Squee paused in front of one of the doors. "Wait!"

I hadn't heard anything but I ran back to him. He motioned for me to yell again.

"Zim!" I called. "Are you in there?!"

Then I pressed my ear against the door. This time, I heard a voice- muffled and faint. My heart pounded as I twisted the knob and- in the first shot of good luck we had all day- it opened.

And there he was.

The room was large and sparse, with a counter- that would have made a nice bar under different circumstances- off to side and a single table in the center. Zim was spread out the way he had been in all of my drawings- with his hands and legs pinned to the cold metal table like that frog I dissected in science class.

"Zim?" I asked.

He stirred. I realized he was trying to turn his head but a wide leather strap across his mouth held him in place. He let out a muffled, frustrated sound and pulled against his restraints. I shrugged off Squee- who was clinging to my coat- and ran up to the table.

Besides being angry, Zim seemed unhurt. He still had his disguise on, though the wig barely clung to his head. There was a cut across the side of his face, oozing a light pink liquid but no other visible injuries. I could have laughed with relief. My entire body shook as I felt the fear and dread that had been slowly building all day escape like steam from a kettle. I wanted to just collapse on the floor.

Squee drew closer, watching the thrashing alien with a mixture of interest and terror. He jumped in surprise as Zim's struggling made the table shudder and clang against the floor.

"Don't worry, I'm getting you out of here." I said. My shaking hands struggled to undo the clasp on the strap across his mouth. "You can fix up my ship and go back to Irk or wherever you want, okay?"

I don't know if he was listening to me. He struggled to tell me something, but I couldn't understand him. His eyes flickered to me, wide with desperation.

"I'm trying, hold on, I'm trying-"

"The scary neighbor man is coming!" Squee cried.

I froze. Sure enough, I could hear distant footsteps approaching. "Shut the door! If we can hold him back for just a minute-"

"We have to hide!" Squee grabbed the sleeve of my coat. "We have Plan B, remember?"

I hesitated. We were so close. If I could just undo a couple of the straps, then maybe Zim could-

"If he catches us, then we can't help him!" Squee pleaded, tugging on my coat so hard he almost pulled it off. "Dib, please!"

Of course he was right. The paranormal investigator part of my brain chided me for being too emotional. Emotions led to rash decisions. There were too many lives at stake for me to be acting stupidly.

"Get behind the counter. Text GIR when I give you the signal." Squee nodded and ran off. I turned back to Zim. "We have a plan, okay? I'm coming back for you."

He nodded, the best he could. It surprised me how calm he seemed. Maybe it was his training as an invader, or maybe the hope of a rescue had given him some courage. I really couldn't tell.

Just as I dove behind the counter, the door opened. Heavy footsteps passed by us. Squee had his hands over his mouth, holding in a terrified whimper.

"I apologize for the long wait." said a familiar voice. I felt my entire world fall away. I was so stunned I didn't even flinch as he dropped something on the counter, just above our heads. "Knives don't sharpen themselves, you know."

**XXX**

I don't think I ever told you about The Dwicky Incident.

The Dwicky Incident- named after Mr. Dwicky, a principle character in the whole affair- happened near the end of sixth grade. It was Zim's first year on Earth and I guess the excitement of having an alien in my class made me prone to "insane" outbursts. It was amazing I hadn't gotten sent to guidance sooner, actually.

Mr. Dwicky wasn't a bad person, in retrospect. I think he had really just wanted to help me, which was something no adult at the skool had ever really done before. He had a friendly smile- not the kind of "screaming on the inside" one the last counselor had- and when I showed him all of my evidence about Zim, he didn't say I was crazy.

He said he believed me.

God, I feel stupid even talking about it now. We dressed up like aliens and sent a message to Zim, like two kids playing an elaborate game of pretend. Then we camped out, waiting for him and I remember thinking how much I felt like a real investigator.

Then, after only an hour, Mr. Dwicky turned to look at me. "Okay, I don't think Zim's showing up, Dib. Maybe it's time you two stopped playing and told me the real reason you're so frustrated."

The way I felt when he said that was the way I felt when I heard Nny's voice.

I wanted to believe it was a mistake, that it was his evil twin brother from another dimension, but I knew his cold, clear voice. It sliced through the terror, like a knife through a throat.

"I usually like to hear my victims talk." Nny said. He unrolled the knives on the counter above us, his voice casual, as if he was about to chop up some tomatoes for a salad. "But has anyone ever told you how extremely  _loud_ you are? I mean, I'm a fan of proclaiming my thoughts to the heavens but FUCK! You scream everything! I don't even know how you still have a voice left. Are alien vocal chords more durable than human ones?"

I'm not sure what Zim's reaction was, but it must have been visible because Nny chuckled.

"Yes, I know you're an alien." I heard a soft  _shink!_ as he tugged a knife out. "It's funny because I'm batshit  _insane_  and even I can see through through your silly disguise. And yet, no matter how often poor Dib begs people to listen to him, nobody else can see it. Do you know how fucked up that is? He gets ridiculed and you get away with it? Just thinking about it pisses me off!"

It was weird. Not all that long ago, I would have traded anything in the world just to hear someone say those exact words.

Now I would trade anything to forget.

Nny's calm, lucid voice drifted past my ears. "I suppose it's not your fault. You're just a little thing trying to survive, aren't you? Camouflage is no sin; it's a part of nature. Don't we all want to blend in so we don't get singled out? Yes, that's very human of you and it's absolutely not the reason you're here. Now open your eyes so I can take the contacts out. I'll be careful. I don't want to blind you, after all. You won't learn anything if you can't watch what happens next."

I glanced over at Squee, who had his back pressed against the counter so hard it looked like he was trying to burrow inside it. His tiny hands were still collapsed against his mouth, stifling his terrified breaths. He looked back at me, eyes wide with horror. As I stared at him, I imagined Nny climbing through his window. Nny stabbing the shit out of his stuffed bear. Nny adjusting his aim, whispering instructions on the best place to stab a person.

I felt sick.

There was the familiar squelching sound of Zim's contacts being removed. "Well, look at you." Nny whistled. "I'll admit, I've never seen an alien up close before. There might have been one in my toilet a few months back, but that could have been another one of my delusions. It's getting hard to tell the difference."

His cold laugh reverberated across the room.  _He's insane_ , was the only thought that drifted through my mind. I needed to act fast. Shaking off my trance, I gave Squee the signal. Despite his terror, the boy quickly began to text GIR with his phone.  _Please,_ I thought,  _please work…_

"Still, I'm impressed! You look like an insect. Well, I guess that's what you are, aren't you? One tiny insect out of a brimming colony, infesting the universe one planet at a time. Humans are the same, although I suppose we're not as good at it as we think we are. If we focused even half of our energy on invading galaxies instead of each other, maybe we could hope to be where your species is in a couple thousand years. But we're not that capable. You know this, I'm sure, as an outside observer. You think this planet is just ripe for invading and I can't say you're wrong. We've been screwing it up ourselves, so why should we continue to have a privilege we never deserved? No, I have no issue with your mission. In fact, I regret I have to put an end to it."

The silence buzzed like static. Squee's eyes widened and he showed me the phone. The message was sending- but too slowly. I snatched it away, watching the little bar inch across the top of the screen.

"Now," I heard the grin in Nny's words. "Let's start the lesson with a small incision."

 _The signal strength is too weak_ , I realized in horror. We were much further underground than I had initially anticipated- way too far to get good service. At this rate, GIR wouldn't get the text fast enough,  _if_ he even got it at all! We would have to distract Nny without him. My brain raced for ideas but nothing came to mind, like I had just forgotten every single instinct I possessed in world.

And that's when horrible, muffled scream exploded through the room.

"You want to know what your problem is?" Nny raised his voice as the agonized screaming continued. "It's the fact that you think you are so goddamn superior! You have no regard for creature other than yourself, do you? And why would you? You think the universe revolves around your tiny, insignificant head! What makes you so goddamn different? How about we widen that cut and see for ourselves?!"

The table clattered as Zim writhed and screamed. My vision exploded into a million tiny pieces and I could feel my skin becoming clammy. I was going to pass out.

"What a surprise! Organs! Blood!  _This_ is what you are, you yappy little Chihuahua! Nothing fearsome, nothing  _special_! You're just like us! A flesh and blood creature, just one out of the millions that inhabit this disgusting pile of space dirt! Do you understand that?! You are nothing at all!"

I leaned forward on my knees, trying to hold in a shocked sob. This couldn't happening. This couldn't be  _real_.

"I have a deal for you." Nny's voice crept down my back as if he was standing over me instead. "This lesson can continue, but I'm going to give you an  _option_. As a favor for a friend of mine, I want you to beg me for mercy. Admit that humanity is better than your stupid race, exactly as I just said it, and I will kill you quickly."

It was my request. Guilt and horror unfurled in my stomach as I listened to Nny fiddle with the strap across Zim's mouth.

"Say it." Nny said.

Each of Zim's raspy breaths was painful for me to hear. But he said something, something too low for me catch.

Nny leaned forward. "Mind repeating that?"

"Disgusting pig." Zim spat. His voice, though bereft of its usual volume, sounded stronger than ever. "I said  _no_."

This earned an amused chuckle from Nny. "Oh, I think you'll change your tune. I'll just make this next cut a bit deeper and-" A sudden scream from Zim cut him off. "There. Still resisting?"

"You  _stupid_  noodle man! You do not even realize what you're dealing with!"

"Yes, yes. The amazing Zim. Dib told me all about your enormous ego…"

"Not me, you fool! The residue! You cannot even fathom the extent of it's influence on your inferior mind!"

"Ah, so you know about the creature? Well, I suppose you're right about that. It had exerted so much control over me that I had assumed it was merely a delusion of my own warped imagination. But then, I met Dib and he helped me find actual, tangible proof it existed. And now that I am aware it exists, I have begun resisting it."

"You are truly an idiot if you believe a gullible meat-sac like you could ever-" Then I heard another, agonized scream.

"You think you're so intelligent, you angry little space mite, but you're wrong! I  _know_  its game! I thought I was containing it by painting The Wall, but I know the truth now! It feeds on blood- or rather the  _suffering_ it tastes in the blood- and I've stopped feeding it! There is nothing it can do!"

"If you will not feed it," Zim hissed. "it will simply find someone that will!"

"It can't do that." An edge of doubt crept into Nny's voice. "It's confined to the house!"

"You are correct, stick man! It cannot go far from the place it is contained. But that does not mean it cannot lure a victim here!"

"A victim…?"

"Do you understand now, you wretched pile of filth?! You think you captured me of your own free will, but you're wrong! It's using me as bait for the person it  _really_ wants!"

The room fell silent as Nny stood there, hesitating.

But when he spoke again, certainty had crept back into voice. "Oh, I see now. You're arguing that I should keep you alive because the monster wants you dead. Interesting strategy, but pathetically transparent."

"Do you think I fear oblivion, worm?" Zim laughed, hard and cold. "You have come at the wrong time. Once I would have challenged suns to survive for my mission and the respect of my people- but now? I see little point in such theatrics."

"So you're a suicidal alien, huh? That's new."

"I do not seek death. But if death has come for me, I will not fight. Those times have passed." He was silent for a long moment, but then he said. "I do not fear my death, but you should."

"That's a vague threat."

"It is not a  _threat_ ; it is a mere fact! I may not have friends, human filth, but I am fortunate enough to possess an enemy. And if I die, you will awaken something you cannot control. I fear for you and this pitiful planet because it will  _burn_!"

Nny's voice sharpened like a thousand knives. "You're lying!"

"Kill me and you will find out for yourself!"

I could see the shadow on the wall as Nny raised his knife into the air.

And, at that moment, the doorbell rang.

Both Squee and I flinched in surprise. It was a soft sound, just a gentle  _ding-dong_  in the distance. I glanced down at the phone and found a little gray word under the text that read ' _sent_ '. I almost laughed in relief.

" _Jesus_ ," Nny grumbled. "It's probably another Jehovah's witness. I already have three of those, you know. You get bored of them after a while, but I suppose I could always use another."

His boots clunked as he walked around the table. I ventured a peek around the counter as Nny started towards the door. Zim visibly relaxed, letting his head rest back on the cold metal table.

The doorbell rang a second time.

All of a sudden, Nny stopped. He turned back around. His long, tattered black trenchcoat swept across the floor as he approached Zim but then he paused to examine the knife in his hand, which was already dripping with pinkish-clear blood.

"I don't have many memories from when I was a child." Nny mused, "But our discussion just reminded me of this one card game I used to play called Bullshit. You've probably never played it. Basically, you have a hand of cards and you need to get rid of them all to win the game. It goes around the table in sequence. If you have 3s then you tell everyone how many 3s you are setting down, if you have Jacks you say how many Jacks and so on. However, if you want to get rid of extra cards, you have to lie. Say you have three 3s when you only have two. If someone thinks you are lying, they call  _bullshit_  and you have to pay the penalty."

The doorbell rang again. And again. And again.

But Nny leaned over, looking Zim square in the eyes. He stared at him for a long time.

" _Bullshit_." He said.

Then he stabbed Zim in the stomach.

A scream ripped through the room, more agonized than anything I had ever heard in my entire life. There was a squelch as Nny wrenched the knife back out and stabbed again. No scream this time but a gurgling noise. Blood spilled onto the floor below. Each thud of the knife reverberated through me and I wanted to grab my ears and block it out forever.

The doorbell kept ringing.

After what felt like an eternity, Nny slammed the knife on the counter in frustration. "Well, it appears someone is  _extremely_ eager for my company. You don't mind hanging out for a bit, do you?" Then, he chuckled to himself. "It's funny because you're strapped to a table. Anyhow, I'll be back. Whether or not you'll still be around is another question."

Nny started for the door again but just he reached it, he paused. As if he was catching a scent in the air, he turned to scan the room. I could see from the shadow on the wall that he was facing our direction and my breath caught in my throat. But the doorbell rang again and he let out a growl of annoyance. I heard the stomp of his retreating footsteps.

And then, the only thing I could hear was Zim's gasping breaths.

It felt like hours until I realized I had to move. Like I was shaking off a nightmare, I remembered who I was and what I was doing here.

I think Squee tried grab me as I scrambled to my feet. It was as bad as I imagined it. Zim was still strapped down to the table and his stomach was splayed open as he twitched. I approached, each step slow and cautious. As I closed the distance between us, it occurred to me that I wasn't thinking about the fact an actual alien was cut open in front of me, that I could see internal organs that would fascinate medical science for centuries.

All I could see was Zim.

He turned his head in my direction and at first I didn't think he could see me. But then, our eyes met and I felt a horrified chill run down my spine. He looked like he wanted to say something but then convulsed like a live wire had been jabbed into his back.

Squee came to my side asking frantic questions I couldn't comprehend. Zim convulsed again and I stood there, staring, watch the blood pump from his stomach and spill onto the table. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think of a way to stop it.

He gasped and I realized that he was trying to say a word. "Off," He coughed out, "off!"

That's when I noticed a tiny jolt of electricity rocketing up his back. The PAK.

I found my voice. "But I… I can't!"

We made eye contact again. At first, I thought the look was anger but I quickly realized that it was something else. It was the desperate, pleading expression of a person about to ask a favor. It was funny, sometimes, how human he could look.

"P-Please…" he said.

It was the first time he had ever used that word. In a daze, I reached behind his head and felt along his back for the PAK. Finally, my fingers brushed against it- not cold metal like I had expected- but warm like a beating heart. Zim took a shuddering breath as the PAK released into my hand.

It didn't take ten minutes. It didn't even take one. It was as quick as unplugging a computer from the wall. His body relaxed and his eyes became that dull, grayish-red I had seen back in the lab.

"Zim!" Tears welled in my eyes as I dropped the PAK and ran to his side. Blood dripped onto the floor as his head fell to the side, limp. I wiped away my tears, trying to catch the slightest movement of breath. Was that it? Or just a trick of the light? I stood there, waiting for a cough or a twitch of his antennae, but nothing came.

 _Am I dreaming?_  I thought, staring at my shaking hands.  _This is a dream, right?!_ But even as I thought it, I already knew the answer.

I was awake.

And Zim was dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dreamtime on Friday?


	15. Dreamtime?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: …
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises.

 

_**It's not over.** _

_**It never is. That is the way of things, after all. Every ending is a new beginning. One door closes, another opens. One life ends…** _

…  _ **and another begins.**_

_**You are sad. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be in pain. It's okay to suffer. If you are suffering, that means you are alive and if you are alive that means there are decisions to be made. You can change the way it all ends.** _

_**This is your story now.** _

_**I'm giving you the pen. Together, we can rewrite this universe and make something new. In our world, heroes triumph over villains. Goodness is rewarded and wickedness is punished. The streets will run red with the blood of the monsters we have slain and the universe will be just and fair, like it was always intended to be.** _

_**You have lost something important, but the mission must continue. The mission must always continue.** _ **_It i_** _ **s time to take what is rightfully ours.** _

_**Come find me.** _

_**We have work to do.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Monday.


	16. Escape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry this is up so late! It was a long chapter and I made some rather drastic last minute changes. Hopefully it’s for the best!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I also don’t own some of the quotes from “Ten Minutes to Doom” that are sprinkled throughout the chapter. I also don’t own a cheese grater. I buy pre-grated cheese. Just thought you should know!

 

**v0x3lr0t:** Dib?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** You're "not sure you're going to survive this"?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** What kind of cryptic crap is that?!  
**v0x3lr0t:** DIB!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Pick up your phone!  
**v0x3lr0t:** You're creeping me out!  
**v0x3lr0t:** If this is a joke, I swear I'm going to kill you!

**XXX**

I didn't cry.

I knew that I should, but I didn't. I felt cold and empty and it would have frightened me if I could be frightened anymore. Thoughts blew through my mind like a sandstorm and I couldn't keep them straight.

When I looked at the body again, it had begun to change color. The skin- which was once vibrant green- had now adopted a grayish tint.  _I should time it and see how long it takes for rigor mortis to set in._ I thought. Then I was appalled for thinking it.

The PAK was still lying on the floor where I had dropped it so I unzipped my bag and placed it inside. The pink panels opened in response to my touch and I knew it would try to attach itself to me if it got too close to my torso, like it did when I had stolen it back in sixth grade. That time, Zim had- much to my chagrin- saved my life by removing it.  _Your filthy human body chemistry isn't compatible with the PAK._ He gloated.  _It would've destroyed you! You're lucky I defeated you. HAH!_

Was that really only two years ago? It felt like decades now.

"I'm sorry!" Squee cried. It had taken him a while to emerge from his hiding place. Now he stood by the table, trying not to look at the pile of organs and blood on top of it. "If we went with your plan-!"

"It's not your fault." I said.

We both fell silent.

Squee murmured something- a prayer, I think- and I watched him make the sign of a cross like my Catholic grandfather used to do when he dragged us to church. I didn't pray myself: the paranormal aspect of religion appealed to me way more than the spiritual side. But I felt like I needed to do something so I took off my trench coat and laid it over the silent, staring body. It seemed wrong to just leave him there like that, splayed open like an anonymous dead cat on the side of the road.

And honestly, I just couldn't look at him anymore.

"Maybe he'll be at peace now?" Squee offered. I didn't blame him for the generic platitude. What else could he say?

"I hope not. He'd hate that." Then I tried to laugh but it sounded fake, so I stopped. Unable to stand there anymore, I leaned on the counter but that was a mistake as I found myself standing over the knife, which had smeared the surface with pinkish-clear blood.

I knew how I should feel. Horrified. A little sick, maybe. But I didn't feel anything. It was like a wound that cut so deep it didn't even hurt and that would have scared me if I even knew how to be scared. I picked up the knife, finding the handle still warm from the last hand that held it, hoping that it would make me feel something.  _Anything_.

"Dib?" Squee's voice quivered. "What are you doing?"

It was just a knife. Just like the pinkish-clear ooze was a stain. And the thing under the trench-coat was a pile of flesh, bones and cybernetics. And I... what was I?

"Dib, are you okay?"

That was the big question, wasn't it? I used to be so sure about that. I was The Savior of Mankind! The Sole Defender of Earth! I was a hero. But what was a hero without a villain?

Nothing.

And there it was, the answer I had been searching for. It was what I was, what I felt and all that really mattered. Nothing. The game had ended so why should I continue playing?

"Squee," I said, "Go home."

"What?!" Squee blinked in surprise. "I can't just- wait!"

His voice echoed after me as I walked away from him and Zim's too silent body. I walked out into the hallway and started the long journey alone, past rooms of screaming people. Were they really screaming? Or was that in my head?

Did it really matter anymore?

"Dib!" Footsteps pattered after me. "Where are you going?!"

I turned around. Squee stood there, looking smaller than ever, clutching little ball of fluff he had salvaged from his teddy bear. I felt a slight stirring of compassion. An  _actual_  emotion. It felt foreign to me, the way heat does for someone who has been wandering through a snow storm for hours.

But I betrayed none of that emotion in my voice. "I said go home."

"I'm not going," He said, "I mean… I really,  _reeaaallly_  want to, but I can't leave you! If you stay, they're going to make you do bad things!"

I used hate it when adults lied to me. After Mr. Dwicky had pretended to believe me about Zim, I was so hurt that I promised myself that when I was an adult I would never treat a kid like that. I would tell them the truth, because they deserved to know it. I guess we've all made promises, haven't we?

And then we lie anyway.

"I'm going to be fine. Now go."

I didn't wait to see if he left. I just walked down the hallway until the darkness swallowed me.

**XXX**

I can't say at exactly which moment I stopped being a kid. Was it when I had almost left Tess and Dillon to die? Was it when Zim- prideful, arrogant,  _fierce_  Zim- slipped away with nothing more than a quiet shudder? Or did it happen as I wandered the twisted hallways, deeper and deeper into the labyrinth, barely blinking at dead ends and closing my ears to those that screamed out to me for help?

Like I said: I don't know  _when_  it happened, but it did. At some point, I stopped believing that one day I would be at home, eating dinner before running into the living room to watch the new episode of Mysterious Mysteries.

I knew, with some quiet certainty, that I was going to die here.

At the last room, I found The Wall. The bulb hanging from the ceiling flickered and the floorboards creaked as I closed the distance between us. The layers of dry blood were cracked and peeling. It had been a long time- too long of a time- since it had a fresh coat. I felt thirsty but the thirst wasn't mine.

I stopped walking. "I know you're there."

They emerged from the shadowy corners of the room without any fanfare, two monochrome ghosts against the bloody wall.

"Would you like a moment to collect yourself?" Mr. Eff said, "We know you have just suffered a great loss."

"We understand pain, Dib." Psychdoughboy agreed. "More than anyone."

I knew what they were doing, of course. Sympathizing with me to gain my trust: practically Villainy 101. I knew my part in the script. I should have heroically denounced them but I didn't have the energy for it anymore. I just wanted this to be over.

I shoved my hands in my pockets. "Before we get to buisness, I have one question."

"We figured you would." Mr. Eff groaned, "Just ask it already! I'm getting antsy!"

"Why did you guys pick me?"

It was the question that had been weighing on my mind ever since my confrontation with Zim in the lab. Was that really only yesterday? It felt like a lifetime ago, like I had been walking around with the memory on my shoulders for years rather than hours.

"Oh, that's easy!" Mr. Eff grinned. "We didn't!"

I felt something like surprise. Or maybe it was despair. It was getting hard to identify individual emotions anymore. They were blending together like streaks of wet paint slowly morphing into an indistinguishable brown mud.

It took me a moment to muster up an answer. "Then how?"

" _She_ made us a deal. She said we should pick you over the kid and if we did, She would send you to us. There have been many things She has been called over the centuries, but a liar isn't one of them. You came, as She promised."

"Wait a second," My thoughts were still catching up. I remembered Squee's story about Pepito and his grandmother. "Who is  _she_?"

Mr. Eff just laughed. "Good question! She is and She has always been! How's  _that_ for a vague answer?"

"Unhelpfully vague."

"We think Her judgment is sound." Psychodoughboy continued, "You might not be as easy to control, but you're intelligent. You recognize this world for what it is."

"A big, insane  _mess_!"

"And you want to fix that, if you can. Our Master can help you!"

I gazed at the wall. The blood was so old it has turned a rusty red, almost brown. But unlike the one back at the treehouse, I knew there was something lurking behind it.

"Your ' _master'_ ," I airquoted the last word. "is nothing but a build-up of negative psychic residue. It's not an actual thing."

"You are so incredibly wrong." Psychodoughboy said, patting the wall. "The Master is as alive as you are and is, more importantly for you, willing to  _compromise_."

"The Master has immense power!"

"The Master can give you that power, just as The Master has given it to Nny."

I walked up to The Wall and placed a hand on it. The wood vibrated as if someone was playing loud music in the next room.

"The immunity." I said.

"More than that!" Mr. Eff tugged at my sleeve. "The universe hasn't been kind to you, Dib! But The Master can  _make_ it kind! Nny wished to gain revenge against all of the people that hurt him. Now he can hurt them, without any fear of retribution!"

Psychodoughboy also came to my side, his voice soft. "Nobody listens to you. The Master can  _make_  them listen. He can help you solve all of the mysteries this universe has to offer. Anything you want, The Master can give you."

"Nny had no ambition! But you, Dib, you want to accomplish great things! The Master would be more than happy to serve a great soul like you! The world would love you for it!"

One time, I threw a muffin at Zim's head. I know that sounds unrelated, but just hear me out. In an act of disproportionate retribution, he made me believe in my ideal future. In this future, everything worked out the way I wanted: I defeated Zim, discovered ghosts, found the Loch Ness monster and single-handedly stopped The Irken Armada.

All of that was great, but the thing that really stuck with me as I walked home alone that night was that feeling of being loved. Being truly, absolutely loved by everyone.

Isn't that what I wanted?

"So," I left my hand on the wall, but turned to look at Mr. Eff. "What's the price?"

"The Master only wishes to be fed." He said, with a grin.

Fed. A hazy vision of the jars of blood filled my mind. "With blood?"

"The Master feeds on suffering. He is, as you said, composed of negative psychic residue. The Master absorbs suffering through the blood of those who have suffered."

"What if your Master isn't fed?"

Psychodoughboy frowned. "He gets hungry. The Master… is unpleasant when He is hungry."

"So in order to feed him, I would have to kill people."

"Yes, and we know that is a moral dilemma for you but there must be compromises in life. Everything has to eat, after all. It's like owning a pet snake. Nobody wants to have a freezer full of dead mice, but what are you supposed to do? Let the snake starve?"

"We're talking about people, not mice."

"Now, now." Mr. Eff cut in, "What have you got against mice? They're nothing but innocent! People, on the other hand, well… you know how bad  _they_  can be. You walked through this basement, Dib. You're a first-hand witness to one man's cruelty! And what he did to Zim-"

"Don't." For the first time in awhile, I felt something stirring in me. Anger. "Don't  _ever_  say his name again."

They said nothing.

I don't know why hearing his name broke me, but it did. Suddenly, I didn't felt numb any longer. I felt everything. Anger, sadness, disbelief- all of them gathered together and pierced through my heart. And through that hole, everything in my soul poured out.

"It's funny." My voice shook more than I anticipated. "I always dreamed about capturing him or dissecting him when I was a kid. I thought if I could just show everyone that he was an alien, they'd believe me about everything. He was my ticket to a better life and that's all I saw him as. It never even occurred to me that he was a person, with fears and dreams of his own."

At some point, I had stopped talking to them. I spoke to The Wall.

"I'm not going to pretend he was perfect now that he's gone." I continued."He was cruel, narcissistic, and irrevocably insane. But we were actually kind of alike in that way. And even though we said we were fighting over the Earth, neither of us actually cared about the planet at all. We both fought for something else. We just wanted respect- no, we  _craved_  it. It's… kind of pathetic, looking back on it. The closest we ever got was the bizarre obsession that we had with each other. You know, what I just realized? I've lost the only person that gave my life meaning."

There was just slightest stir behind The Wall.

Tears stung my eyes, but I laughed. "You want suffering? I can give you it to you in  _spades_."

The Wall shuddered. It felt my pain, it promised to take it. I shut my eyes, letting it slowly fill my mind.

"Do we have an accord?" Mr. Eff purred, as he gazed up at me.

I never got to answer. Because at that moment, a knife impaled the back of his head.

"Not again!" Mr. Eff screamed in agony and Psychodoughboy cackled with sudden glee. The connection between me and The Wall was broken as I drew my hand away, spinning around to see what had happened. A tall figure stood in the open doorway, a knife clenched in his fist.

"Get the fuck away from him." Nny said, a look of barely contained fury flickering across his face.

"Dib!" Squee darted past him, tackling me with a hug. "Are you okay?!"

"What are you doing here?" I tried to pry him off me. "I told you to leave!"

"I couldn't leave you with them! They're bad!  _Reeallly_  bad! So I found the scary neighbor man and told him where you were!"

"You told a  _homicidal maniac_  where I am?!"

He scrunched his face up. "Umm, I guess it sounded like a better plan in my head."

"Dib," Nny was walking towards me, the knife still clutched in his hand. "Did they hurt you?"

I scrambled backwards, pushing Squee behind me. Nny held out a hand towards me but I flinched. "Don't touch me!"

He frowned, but he did lower his hand. "Bastards. Those fucking bastards! They chose the two people, the  _only_  two people, I didn't want to harm! I... I didn't want either of you to see any of this..."

This was bad. We were as good as cornered. I scanned the room, looking for an exit like a deer evading a hunter. Nny caught the desperate look in my eye.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Dib! Please, I know it's difficult but you have to trust me!"

" _That's_ reassuring!" Mr. Eff said, as he tugged the knife out of his head. "He just watched you stab the shit out of his weird green friend and you think he's going to trust  _you_? I know you're insane, Nny, but you've reached new levels of delusion!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Nny shouted and then, seeing us flinch, softened his voice again. "It was... a lapse of judgment bringing the alien here. I should have known you would investigate; you're the only fucking person who questions things in this world! But the idea that the smug little asshole would go on gloating over your misfortunes like they were his own goddamn successes was just unbearable! I had to do something! I thought you could use a victory."

"That wasn't a victory!" I snarled, "You strapped him to a table and stabbed him in the stomach! What kind of victory is that?!"

"That's what you said you wanted!" He counted the points off on his fingers. "Strapped to a table. Organs. Blood. Begging for mercy. Did I miss anything?"

"I know I  _said_  that, but I didn't actually mean it!"

"Well, those are some mixed signals." He said, annoyed. "How the hell was  _I_  supposed to know you didn't want to act on your homicidal fantasies?!"

"Because I'm a  _normal_  person, not a deluded serial killer! Which you failed to mentioned you are, by the way!"

"You wouldn't have trusted me if I told you and I really needed your help. I… hadn't meant to hurt you."

"Didn't mean to hurt me?! You killed my only friend!"

"… I thought he was your enemy?"

"He is! He was! It's complicated! Anyway, the point is that you killed him! You killed him and probably  _hundreds_  of other people!" I took a deep breath as silence settled between us. Then, I said, pointed and simple. "I hate you."

Nny flinched, as if the words caused him physical pain. As he stood, his grip tightening on the hilt of the knife, Squee clenched my coat in terror.  _Maybe_ , the logical part of my brain spoke up,  _it wasn't such a great idea to piss off a murderer_.

But I didn't care. I  _hated_ him. I really, truly hated him more than I had ever hated anyone in my entire life. Behind me, the wall thrummed with energy. I hated Nny, I wanted to make him suffer. The Wall understood. The Wall was the  _only_  one who understood. The Wall hated him just as much as I did.

The Wall and I could help each other.

"They're  _using_  you!" Nny insisted, "I know because they've been doing the same thing to me for years. Please, Dib. You're a good person, remember? You can fight them!"

I hesitated, the tips of my fingers just inches away from the red soaked wall.

The paranormal investigator- the omnipresent, logical part of my brain- reminded me that Nny was correct. The Wall was bad. It was trying to control me by promising me whatever I wanted, my own genie in a bottle. Or the devil with a contract, pen in hand.  _Don't be the idiot we yell at in these stories_. The investigator begged.  _You know better than this!_

I did know better than this.

But my head pounded behind my eyes. Everything  _hurt._ The Wall wanted to take that hurt from me and make it so that I never hurt again. It would be like being submerged in ice cold water. I wouldn't have to feel anything I didn't want to.

"I understand you're upset," Nny said. I met his black rimmed eyes. "But this isn't the answer! If anything, I'm a living testament of that! I spent years of my life feeding this thing and what have I got to show for it? But you have a  _chance_ , Dib. You can make a different choice! The monster wants you to serve it. It wants you kill me and take my place. Don't be its slave! You can fight-"

" _ **You're arguing that he should keep you alive because the monster wants you dead?**_ " said a new voice. " _ **Interesting strategy, but pathetically transparent.**_ "

It tore through me like a gunshot. Everything fell away as if we were playing some large game of pretend and our mom had called us into dinner. I saw the confusion settle onto Nny's expression, like glitter in a snow globe.

We both looked and there he was. He stood in the doorway- eyes still that dull red-grey color and his stomach splayed open, leaking blood onto the floor below.

"Zim?" I whispered.

Before I could even react, I was startled as Nny forced both me and Squee behind him. I saw his knuckles turn white as his grip on the knife tightened. "I'm an idiot!" He was muttering. "They both wanted me to kill the alien! God, I fell right into their trap..."

" _ **Missed me, my Dib?**_ " Zim purred, as he stepped forward. The familiar sound of his back boots clicking across the floor was something I didn't even realize I so desperately wanted to hear again.

"Don't fucking talk to him!" Nny snarled, raising the knife. "Your fight is with me!"

Zim did stop and as he turned, I could see the empty metal sockets where his PAK should have been. " _ **I have no words to exchange with a tool.**_ " He said.

Up until this point, Mr. Eff and Psychodoughboy were completely silent. They had just stared at Zim in quiet awe, like they were watching a fireworks show.

But after that, Mr. Eff began to laugh.

It was a loud, cackling laugh and, to add to my surprise, Psychodoughboy started to laugh too. Within moments, they were both laughing and cheering.

"Shut up!" Nny jabbed the knife in their direction. "Both of you, SHUT UP!"

" _ **Do you comprehend the sheer enormity of your mistake, foolish human?**_ " Zim said. His voice, flat and quiet but still unmistakably  _his_ cut right into my soul. " _ **You thought you were killing me! But instead, you gave me life, like the good little puppet you are.**_ "

Nny was about to retort but I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see that it was him. I tried to push past Nny, but the bastard seized my arm. I struggled and thrashed, but his thin hand had a surprisingly strong grip.

"That's not  _him_ , Dib!" Nny yelled as I tried to squirm away from him. "It's a trick!"

Finally, I fell limp in his grasp. My mind was buzzing and I couldn't think. I stared at the alien- eyes grey and stomach bleeding- and I told myself that what I was seeing was impossible.

" _ **I exist, Dib-thing.**_ " Zim said, his voice soft as the wind. " _ **I came into existence that night you heard a far-away broadcast from another world, that night you became a hero rather than just a lonely, crazy child. I gained a face that day a stranger showed up in your class.**_ "

"Dib," Nny shook me, forcing me to pay attention to him. "He's not  _Zim_ , okay?!"

" _ **The noodle-man makes a decent point. I am not Zim, as you knew him. There was a real Zim and then there is the image of me you conjured in your giant head. That's the odd thing about reality, stink-boy. We each perceive it so differently that the truth doesn't even matter anymore. And if you proclaim yours loudly enough, if you force others to listen and believe as you do, then you will make a new reality. That, my little Dib, is true power.**_ "

"You're no better than them!" Nny jabbed a finger in the direction of the doughboys. "You're just another puppet!"

" _ **It takes one to know one.**_ "

"I'm not a puppet! I make my own decisions now! Not you, not The Wall! ME!"

" _ **You think you're in charge?**_ " Zim's cold laughter echoed through the room. " _ **You're nothing but a stupid monkey driven by whatever impulse suits your fancy. A pathetic worm like you never should have been given such power. You're too stupid to know what to do with it!**_ "

"SHUT UP!"

" _ **I would know exactly how to use it.**_ " Zim's dead eyes shifted and I knew they were looking at me now. " _ **And you would too. This entire planet is infested with primitive apes- but you and I are not like them, Dib. We're different. How many times has the fate of the Earth rested on us? How long have we battled for this world that is so barely worth it?**_ "

It seemed like a long time. Such an impossibly long time.

" _ **Look what your dedication has cost you. Look at what it has cost us! The fight is over now. With my help, you won't ever have to fight again. The world can be remade in our image. What goes around comes around, yes? You've suffered and now you are rewarded! And those who've gotten away with it…**_ " Zim's lips curled back- his smile, which had once been dull like a zipper, now looked like the jagged edge of a broken bottle. "…  _ **cannot hide from their fate any longer.**_ "

Then, Zim held out a gloved hand.

" _ **Truce?**_ " He asked.

It reminded me of that afternoon in his lab, so long ago, when he had offered me his hand and asked that same question. I had refused him then. A look had flashed across his face that I thought was indescribable, but it wasn't. I knew what it was. He had offered me a chance at cooperation, of  _friendship_. We are similar, he once tried to tell me- so desperately. He had almost begged me to understand. We could have been friends, but I had rejected him and now it was too late to ever take it back.

Except, it wasn't.

I could make things right again. That's what I had come here to do, wasn't it? I had come to make things right. Zim was dead, but his killer was alive. I could fix that.

What goes around comes around, to put it in colloquial terms.

"Enough of this!" Nny snapped. Then he released me, pushing me back towards The Wall. "Dib, take Squee and run! I'll hold him off!"

I knew I should listen to him. There was a voice in my mind, so far away that it sounded like it was yelling at me from the other side of a canyon, telling me to get the hell out of here. I could take Squee to safety and call the police. I could see Dad and Gaz again. I could go back to skool and watch Mysterious Mysteries and chat on the Swollen Eyeball Network's forums. I could live the rest of my life.

But Zim would still be dead.

Without realizing it, I was standing against The Wall. As Nny rounded on Zim's dull-eyed, bleeding corpse, I slowly pushed a hand against The Wall's rough surface. I felt the creature pulsing behind it, drawn to me like a shark to blood. I watched Nny approach Zim, knife raised.

"No," I said. "This is my world now."

And that's when I became the wastelock.

**XXX**

Everything became clear.

It was like putting on a pair of prescription glasses after a lifetime of blurry vision. Colors became sharper. Confusion vanished. Rules and restrictions were stripped away. I could do anything I wanted now. I was above consequences. I was above guilt. I was invulnerable.

I was free.

Nny noticed the shift as soon as I did. His dark eyes widened in surprise as he spun around to face me. Why had I ever been afraid of him? He was no boogeyman. Without his cosmic power, he was nothing more than a sick, weak man.

"D-Dib," his voice was faint, "Did you just…?"

I smirked, flexing my hand into a fist. "Let's try out some of these new powers, shall we?"

Nny backed away as I walked towards him. Keep your shoulders straight, Zim had told me so long ago at the elementary skool. Do not drag your feet when you approach them,  _march_.

That is the way an Irken soldier walks.

"Dib!" Squee rushed towards me but Nny seized the back of his shirt and tugged him away.

"You have to let me take care of this." He kept his eyes trained on me. "That's not the Dib we know, okay?"

"Yes, he is! The monster is controlling him! We just have to snap him out of it!"

"I don't think-"

"Please," Squee pleaded, gripping Nny's sleeve."We have to try!"

The serial killer wavered in hesitation. Finally, with a sigh, he disentangled Squee from his arm and ushered the boy behind him. I stopped as he came to the center of the room to meet me.

His grip tightened on the knife, but it didn't stop his hand from shaking. "Listen to me, Dib. I really don't want to fight you."

"That's a shame." The coldness in voice sharpened like thousands of icicles. "Maybe you should have thought about that before you killed Zim."

"You're angry and you have every right to be. But you're giving the monster exactly what it wants! We were going to stop it, remember?"

I said nothing.

He squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, as if hoping I would vanish like a nightmare. But I wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm sorry, Squee." Nny murmured.

And he attacked me.

Squee screamed in terror as Nny charged, swinging the knife. Although years of battling Zim had honed my reflexes, I couldn't chalk up the accuracy in which I dodged up to my own ability. I hadn't gotten faster- it was like the direction I dodged always happened to miss the arc of his knife. Nny kept swinging but the blade kept missing- over and over. As we backed towards The Wall, I kicked at him and landed a shattering  _crack!_ against his knee. It knocked him off balance and he fell hard against the wood floor.

I waited until he got back onto his feet. Though he tried to look brave, he flinched as I stepped in front in front of him.

"Scared?" I asked.

"Fuck off," He snapped, but winced as he shifted weight off the knee that I had hit. After adjusting his grip on the knife, he ran at me again but the limp in his step slowed him down.

I dodged the hit- easy. He swung again and I dodged again. He didn't hit me. He  _couldn't_ hit me. I took a second shot at his knee and connected with a cracking blow. This broke the barrage of attacks and he backed away, swearing and cursing, but within seconds he lunged for me again.

"What's the matter, Nny?" I teased as he swung and missed me. "You were so enthusiastic about pain when you were torturing and killing people!"

Swing, miss.

"Or do you only like pain when you get to control it?"

Swing, miss. Swing, miss. Swing, miss.

"Now it makes sense!" I laughed. "You like pain when you can inflict it on someone tied up and helpless. But when you're alone in your house, plagued by not-so-nice thoughts, you don't like it so much anymore. You run from it like a kid from the monster under his bed!"

"Dib, no!" Squee cried. But I could barely hear him over the cheering of the doughboys.

"No wonder you're such a failure as an artist." I continued. Swing, miss, swing miss. "Good artists know how to take their pain and transform it into something beautiful! But everything you make is  _ugly_! You get pain and transform it into nightmares!"

Nny's slashed at me even faster. His chest heaved as he struggled to catch his breath.

" _ **Enough games**_." Zim said. He hadn't been cheering like the doughboys. Instead, he stood in front of The Wall, hands clasped behind his back, watching the fight like he was about to give it a score. " _ **Let's end this.**_ "

I obeyed.

"Aren't you  _proud_  of me?" I asked as Nny swung at me again, but this time I seized his arm and wrenched it backwards. " I'm just following your advice!"

A sickening crack echoed across the room as he screamed and the knife clattered to the floor.

"People are cruel and stupid," I kicked him in the chest and he crashed to the ground, moaning as he gripped his arm. "and there are no consequences for anything. But you told me that I didn't have to take that, remember?"

The doughboys emerged from the darkness behind him, each holding a roll of duct tape. Nny yelped in pain as Mr. Eff jerked his arms behind his back.

"You said why don't you just go ahead and be cruel right back?"

Nny struggled out of their grasp and tried to kick at them but I stomped on his injured arm. His face flushed white with agony and he curled over on his side like he was about throw up. Mr. Eff and Psychodoughboy shoved him onto his stomach. The sound of ripped duct tape cut across the room.

"Why don't you teach them the lessons that the universe hasn't been enforcing?" I watched as they taped wound the tape around his arms and legs until he laid there, helpless at my feet. "Wasn't that your lesson, Nny? Wasn't that what you wanted to teach me?"

"I was wrong." His voice was strained. I could tell he was on the verge of passing out by how pale his skin had become. "Dib,  _please_. You're a good kid! I know you are!"

A image of Nny leaning out the car window in the rain leapt into my mind.  _Keep being good, alright?_  He had called out to me over the wind.  _Please, just promise me!_

"Don't be like me." He begged, "Don't let them take everything away from you. You're not a killer! You're a paranormal investigator, remember? You find monsters and stop them!"

"You're right." I said.

My footsteps echoed through the silent room. I knelt down beside him.

"But you know what I've realized?" My voice was cold and quiet. "This world is full of monsters. Bigfoot, ghosts, aliens- those aren't the monsters we should be having nightmares about. The real monsters are people. You.  _Me_. We're the ones who need to be stopped. We're the one the world needs to be saved from."

"Dib-"

"That's who I am, Nny. I'm The Sole Defender of Earth. And it's time I lived up to my title."

I nodded to the doughboys. To Nny's credit, he didn't submit easily. He yelled and cursed and begged me to just  _listen_ until they gagged him and even then I could still hear his muffled cries. And then, he lay at my feet- powerless. Indistinguishable from his own victims.

"Dib, you can't!" Squee wriggled between Nny and I, separating us. "I know he's done bad things but you  _can't_  kill him! Then you'll be just like him and that's what it wants you to be! Please, don't let it control you!"

I didn't even look at him. "Close your eyes, Squee."

"Please," He sobbed, as Psychodoughboy wrenched him out of the way. "Please don't kill him! You don't have to! Please…"

But his words faded as I felt a clawed hand on my shoulder. It was Zim- his eyes still grey and his stomach bleeding. " _ **Let's save the world one last time**_." He said, as he handed me the fallen knife.

I accepted it without any pleasure or reservation.

The serial killer looked away and I could tell by the way he closed his eyes that he knew what was going to happen next. He didn't struggle against his bonds as I raised the knife.

"An eye for an eye, right?" I asked.

And I stabbed him.

Or at least, I was  _going_  to stab him when a distant sound jolted me out of my trance. Footsteps. I froze in place as a small figure appeared in the open doorway. Cheerful blue lights twinkled in the darkness.

"Hiya big-headed boy!" GIR chirped. "Can I have my Brain Freezie now?"

**XXX**

Everything stopped.

It reminded me of the time I saw the skool production of Romeo and Juliet. In the middle of the balcony scene, as Romeo professed his love to Juliet, the girl's wig swung loose and crashed smack dab in the middle of the stage. Romeo and Juliet just stared at it, frozen mid-speech, unsure of what to do next. The curtain closed and the audience sat there in awkward silence.

That was the atmosphere of the room as GIR trotted over to us.

"I want the one with dirt in it!" He announced.

I stood over Nny, the knife still raised in the air. My throat felt dry all of a sudden and I swallowed, hard. "This isn't really a good time." I said.

"Oooh. Whatchu doin'?"

"I'm kind of, uh…" I made a vague slashing motion across my throat. "You know…?"

The robot stared at me, then he glanced down at Nny who- upon sensing a possible rescue- struggled and tried to speak.

GIR giggled. "He's dancin'!"

" _ **GIR**_ ," The grey-eyed, bleeding Zim hissed, " _ **Go wait outside**_ **!** "

GIR's eyes flickered as he studied the organs trailing from Zim's open stomach. Then he shrugged and turned to me.

"Master? When do I get Brain Freezies?"

My mouth opened and closed a couple times in surprise. "You… you think I'm your Master? But Zim is-"

"Shh!" GIR smushed a metal finger against my lips, which disturbed me on levels I can't quite articulate. "I'm trying to hear Master!"

He listened for a moment, head tilted. When nothing happened, his mouth flattened into an annoyed line. Then he seized my backpack and began to tug it off. I cried out in protest and tried to twist away from him, but as I did the knife sliced through one of the straps and the backpack's contents spilled out onto the floor.

" _ **GIR**_ _!"_ Zim's voice teemed with fury. " _ **Get away from there! NOW!**_ "

The robot ignored him and held up something silver and gleaming. Frowning, he shook it a couple times. "Master? I can't hear you?" He held it close to his head, like a child listening for the ocean inside a seashell. "Is somebody in time out? Maybe Dib can help!" He held out something to me.

Zim's PAK.

After a slight moment of hesitation, I took it. It was still warm, the metal shimmering in the dim light. I ran a hand over its smooth surface as a rush of emotions bubbled up inside me, threatening to spill over as tears.

GIR's soft blue eyes glowed in the darkness. "You gonna help him 'cause you're the good guy, right?"

The good guy. That's who I was supposed to be. Zim was the villain and I was the hero. It felt like remembering an old childhood game. Within an instant, a layer of dust that had settled over my memories blew away and images flashed into my mind: battling in my brain with nanoships, piloting planets through space, a giant hamster tearing down buildings, playing I Spy in an alien prison cell, evil pants invading the city, pig demons, giant lice, nightmare worlds, an evil Santa Claus mech, a room with a moose…

" _Hello_?!" Mr. Eff snapped, "We're kind of in the middle of something here!"

I glanced around the room, like I had just realized where I was. There was a knife in my hand. Squee was still sobbing over Nny, who was staring up at me- pleadingly. The doughboys were shouting at me to just kill him already and Zim's corpse was hissing, reminding me of what we were doing and to hurry up and just fucking stab him!

I looked back at Nny, the man who had killed Zim.  _I'm getting distracted from my purpose_ , I thought. An eye for an eye, remember?

But there was another voice, a muffled protest I couldn't quite understand. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to hear it. It was  _my_  voice, the logical voice of the paranormal investigator.

_But why_? It asked.

As soon as I thought that, The Wall thrummed with fury. Its plans were being disobeyed and it pressed me with a wave of anger. It wanted Nny dead. It wanted him dead  _now_.

_But why?_ _It wants me to kill him, but why_?

A hazy memory surfaced of Zim and I in his lab. His words- so unusually calm and somber- came floating back to me.  _In some cases, an extremely large mass of Residue may develop a consciousness of it's own and warp the wastelock's mind- causing them to become an unwitting servant rather than a jailer…_

"But why?" I asked.

" _ **Why what?!**_ " Zim growled. " _ **You dare question me, human filth?!**_ "

I forced myself to look at him. "This whole reason I'm here is because I wanted to solve a mystery and I'm sure as hell going to get to the bottom it. If you want me to kill him, you need to tell me why.  _Now_."

His eyes glinted like black ice. He stepped towards me, the room darkening with each step, his green skin shadowed with bruises. A gloved hand seized my throat, but didn't squeeze. I shuddered at the coldness of the rubber.

" _ **You want to know why?**_ " Zim's voice cut like a cold wind. " _ **You killed me, Dib. Everything- all of this- is your fault. That's why.**_ "

He wasn't wrong, I realized. It  _was_  my fault. I made Zim do the project. I ignored his warnings about Nny. I rejected him off every time he tried to reach out to me. And, worst of all, I had practically led a homicidal maniac to his doorstep. I might as well have handed Nny the knife.

Did it really matter why? Zim wanted me to kill Nny. He wanted vengeance.

What right did I have to question it?

But as I thought this, I realized I was still holding Zim's PAK. The metal was warm, like sunlight on my skin. A memory flickered through my mind. It was back in sixth grade- when I was young and stupid. After witnessing Zim's PAK being knocked off his back, I had taken it away on the bus with me and realized, with horror, that it had attached itself to my chest. Everything slowed down in that moment- the bus lurching as it hit a pothole, the whistle of the wind through a crack in the window, the curious stares of the other passengers. But there was something else there too. A familiar presence in my mind, observing me with amusement.

_This device,_ I told my Dad later,  _it IS ZIM. It's his brain and his life support. That means his body is just... something to carry his PAK around._

I looked at the cold, dead eyes of the corpse that stood in front of me. Zim's organic body had only ever been a shell.

But that was in that shell now?

"You're not the real Zim." I said.

A fire leapt into Zim's cold eyes. His grip on my throat tightened and I gasped out in pain.

" _ **Is this real enough for you**_?" He sneered, " _ **Or do you need another demonstration?**_ "

"Okay, you're real." I pushed him away and he allowed me to, but his dull gaze never wavered. "But you're not really  _him_. You're in his body, somehow, but you're not Zim."

" _ **Oh?**_ " His voice lilted with amusement. " _ **Then what am I?**_ "

Shifting Zim's PAK under one arm, I fished the goggles I had picked up from Zim's house with my free hand. "Why don't we find out?" I asked.

Before he could stop me, I put them on. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the purple light but then I saw it. Dark, shadowy tentacles coming out of Zim's back, right where his PAK used to be. It moved as he made a swipe for me- with the deftness of a master puppeteer controlling a marionette- but I stepped backwards. My eyes swept around catching a glimpse of the doughboys who had the same thing emerging from their backs.

Each and every one of them was connected to The Wall.

"Now it makes sense." I grinned. "You're all just puppets, used to talk for something that doesn't have a voice. And you use that voice to goad people into feeding you! But the question is  _why_?  _Why_  do you want to kill people?"

" _ **Have you lost your mind**_ **?!** " Not-Zim hissed.

I ignored him. "I would say it was just survival, but I don't think a thing like you can really starve to death. So why are you so desperate to be fed? What does this whole torture operation do for you? Man I wish I had one of those big, rolling blackboards, y'know? Makes it easier to brainstorm!"

They all stared at me like I was spouting gibberish.

"Why?" I asked. "Why is it so important that I kill Nny right here, right now? Why did you do all of this just to lure me down here to kill him? Why do you need to be painted with blood?"

Zim's words, the  _real_  Zim's words, came back to me:  _If a mass of residue continued to feed without being flushed, it could become too large to be contained…_

Now I understood. I saw the whole thing laid out before me, a map of the entire plan sprawled across the room in labelled with tidy words and color coordinated. Images from my nightmares came flashing into my mind: The Wall, bursting open as something emerged from shadows...

The residue was made of suffering. The blood itself meant nothing- but the people that suffered for it, the people that were tortured, the people that screamed, the people that cried, the people that begged for their lives- all of those negative emotions gave it power.

And what would happen if it got enough suffering?

How far could it grow before its cage cracked?

"That's your plan!" I spun around to face The Wall. "You're  _so_  close, aren't you?! You just need that last coat of blood to break out! And of course, that's when Nny started to fighting back, isn't it? So you decided to seek another wastelock. The dreams, Zim's death- that was all just part of your plan to lure me here! You were to going to trick me into killing Nny and adding the last coat of paint to your wall!"

" _ **Shut up!**_ " There was panic in Not-Zim's voice now. " _ **You're wrong**_ **!"**

"I know I'm not wrong! It was a good plan, but you forgot something." I took a step towards The Wall. "You forgot that I'm human! And here's the great thing about humans: we're  _adaptable_. You know that, don't you? You warped Nny- your own wastelock- from troubled artist to a serial killer. You thought he was your perfect little puppet, didn't you?"

Nny laid there, unmoving, his dark eyes averted.

"But look what happened!" I shouted at The Wall. "He defied you. He changed! And maybe he didn't win, but you should be terrified of that. Because what do people do when they hit the bottom? They start climbing up!"

The doughboys stared at me- shaking. Whether it was fury or fear, I couldn't tell.

"It was a nice try." I said. "But I've been foiling the plans of an evil alien for three years. I'm kind of the savior of humanity, y'know? If you think you're going to stop me- well, umm, you're stupid!"

_Oh, god._  I wanted to facepalm myself.  _That was terrible._

But Not-Zim stood there, as calm as ever. His grey eyes examined me- almost approving. The Wall thrummed with amusement.

" _ **She said you wouldn't be easy to control.**_ " Not-Zim grinned, a jagged grin. The organs swung from his open, bleeding wound as he straightened up to meet my eyes. " _ **But you certainly are fun, aren't you?**_ "

_She?_  I frowned.  _Does he mean…?_

" _ **That was nice speech, but you have forgotten one, crucial detail. You may have stalled my plan, but that is all you have done. It does not erase your choice. You are my wastelock and I have an entire lifetime to bend you to my will. And as my former puppet has proven,**_ " He kicked Nny with the heel of his boot and the serial killer yelped in pain, " _ **I will always win the end.**_ "

I turned around to face The Wall. It loomed over me- like it had every night in my dreams.

"I'll give you one chance to give up." I said.

If it could have, it would have laughed at me. Civilizations rose and fell; people lived and died- but it always remained. It was as constant as the wind and the rain and ocean's swaying tide. It never stopped.

It  _never_  gave up.

I shrugged. "Well, I gave you a chance."

And then, I put on Zim's PAK.

Tentacles shot out and ripped through the skin on my back. Squee screamed and the doughboys stood rigid- stunned with shock- as I crashed to my knees. The PAK's metal burned against my skin and I screamed in agony as the cables burrowed into my spine like thousands of tiny insects. Not-Zim stood, watching- his expression unreadable.

"What are you doing?!" Mr. Eff shrieked.

I looked up with a pained grin. "Making a sacrifice."

Zim's story about the Irken sacrifices drifted back into my mind.  _Once they could take it no longer, they would destroy themselves as well as the bulk of the residue that was linked to them, thus flushing the residue into oblivion._

I had been so horrified by the idea then, just as I had been disgusted by the thought of that girl, swinging from the tree she had hung herself from. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, she had written on the treehouse floor. Now I understood. She figured it out and she had died- like all of those Irkens- to save the rest of us.

That's what heroes did, right?

There was real fear in Mr. Eff's voice. "Sacrifice?! What the hell are you talking about?!"

"When an Irken loses their PAK, they can only live for ten minutes. But guess what? If a non-Irken wears an Irken's PAK, it will kill the new host within the same time period." I smirked at him. "That's the only way to defeat you all. If a wastelock dies, the residue it's guarding will be destroyed."

"NO!" He seized the PAK and tugged. "I'm so goddamn close!"

The movement send a fresh wave of pain up my back; I bit back a scream and tried to shake him off. But then, just I thought Mr. Eff might succeed, Psychodoughboy appeared behind him.

"Don't be upset!" He seized Mr. Eff and wrenched him off me, grinning for the first time. "The pain is almost over. You should embrace it!"

"You STUPID fuck! Let go of me! I'm not going to die! Not when I'm so close to freedom!"

As they argued, my eyes met Nny's. He stared at me in mute horror. I could almost feel the rush against the wind against my face from the open car window as Nny confessed that he thought about killing himself. Had he known? I wondered. Had he known on some unconscious level that universe had set him up to die?

I closed my eyes, ready to accept it.

"Dib!" Squee ran to my side as a sudden wave of dizziness swept me off my feet. I collapsed to the wood floor. The little boy tried to tug off the PAK but I knew he didn't have the strength. "DIB! You can't! Please!"

I heard the click of boots and looked up to see Not-Zim, looking down at me. He didn't look angry. His grey eyes flickered as he watched Squee, shaking me.

"Dib!" Tears streamed down Squee's face. "Dib please! You can't die! Please don't leave me!"

I felt light-headed. Pain coursed through my entire body like a drug in my veins. Somewhere in the tumble of confused, hazy thoughts I wondered if Zim was there- lurking somewhere in the background, watching. Would he have called me an idiot? Or would he have been proud of me?

Maybe… maybe I'll get to see him again?

"No!" Squee sobbed now. "No, please!"

I watched Squee, hanging over me. At least he would be okay. All of them would- Gaz, Dad,  _everyone_. I had done my job. No more alien invasions, or homicidal maniacs or monsters- my part in this story was finished. The Earth was safe. I closed my eyes.

I could sleep now.

" _ **Do not be afraid, human.**_ "

A shiver of horror shot up my spine as my eyes flew open.

" _ **There is still time to save him.**_ " I watched Not-Zim kneel down by Squee's side. He placed a clawed hand on the boy's shoulder. " _ **I can help you.**_ "

Squee sniffled, wiping away a tear. "How?"

Not-Zim held out something to him. The knife. Squee's face blanched white and he recoiled from it.

"I-I can't!" He cried.

" _ **Then he will die.**_ " Not-Zim's voice was cold. " _ **And it's your fault he's here, isn't it? If you hadn't tattled on us to your friend Pepito, none of this would have happened. You killed him, Squee.**_ "

Nny wriggled against his bonds, yelling desperate muffled protests.

" _ **He risked his life to protect you.**_ " Not-Zim whispered, " _ **Are you too scared to return the favor? All we need is a little blood...**_ "

"Just…" Squee took the knife, staring at his reflection in the metal. "Just a little, right?"

Then he got to his feet.

"W-wait!" With the last of my strength, I attempted to grab his sleeve and missed. "Squee, stop!"

Squee stood front of The Wall with a knife in his hand. He had his back to me and said something that I couldn't hear. The knife glinted as the bulb hanging from the ceiling swung back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

"You can't!" I cried.

Then he turned around and gave me a sad smile, as he held up a hand. There was a thin cut that wound down his palm and onto his blood-soaked wrist.

"N-no…" I forced myself to sit up- ignoring the pain. I scrambled forward and rasped a cracking. "Squee, NO-!" just as Squee placed his hand on The Wall.

All went silent for a single, terrifying moment. Then came the sharp  _crack!_ of the concrete.

Everything went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading! Dreamtime on Friday. (The last one! ;-;)


	17. Dreamtime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey all! Here's the last Dreamtime! I'm sorry this was posted late (it's currently Saturday morning), but this is an extremely important chapter and I wanted to be sure that I got it right.
> 
> Anyway, I don't know how many people have been keeping up with the comics but I HIGHLY recommend reading Issue 23 first because this chapter makes quite a few references to it. (Also, it was really good!) You can get by without it, of course, but you'll get more of the Easter eggs if you have.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. I do own a box of highly caffeinated black tea, which I have almost entirely used up while editing this chapter. I'm pretty sure I'm at least 5% tea now. Will that have any negative health consequences in the future? Maybe!

 

_The Wall was broken._

" _Well," I sat against edge of of the jagged, shattered concrete where the broken floorboards ended and the abyss began."That's it then."_

_I waited for some brilliant idea to pop out in front of me like a jumpscare in a horror movie, but nothing happened. What else could I do? I had connected to Zim's PAK and fallen unconscious. I would be trapped in this empty dream until my body died._

_The End._

_My back throbbed and let my head rest against the cool concrete, hoping it might ease the pain. It didn't. Memories flickered back to me: the room shaking, Nny struggling, Squee- so tiny and pale- collapsing as his handprint glowed red against the dried blood. It was over._

_The monster had won._

" _You know what really sucks?" I asked the empty room. "I never even got to see what it looked like."_

_No one answered._

_As I sat there, gazing ahead and waiting to die, I realized there was something different about the room. The wooden floor stretched out in front of me and the bare bulb still swung back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. But the far wall looked almost…_

_Metallic?_

_What was that? I squinted, thinking it was just a trick of the light, but it wasn't. There was a long metal wall- that I'm pretty sure had not been there before- spanning the entire second half of the room. My back twinged in protest as I leaned forward and pushed myself onto my feet. Was it a good idea to approach a mysterious metal wall that had appeared out of thin air? No, probably not. But I was going to die anyway, right?_

_I might as well go out solving a mystery._

_As I approached, my own twisted reflection in the smooth metal stared back at me- an unrecognizable tall, skinny kid in a torn blue tee-shirt with crooked glasses and shadowed eyes. He looked like hell. After giving myself a grimace of acknowledgement- a silent "we really messed up this time, huh?"- I looked down the length of the metal wall. It extended across the room and seamlessly connected with the concrete walls, creating a complete seal._

_What was this thing?_

_In response to my unspoken question, glowing red symbols began to bleed out from the metal, until they shaped familiar letters- smeared on the wall like bloody fingerprints._

_Irken._

_Heart pounding in my chest, I leaned forward to examine the writing. I couldn't speak Irken- it was a snide language with a lot of hissing, twisting syllables my flat tongue couldn't mimic- but hours of slaving over Tak's ship had taught me to read it pretty well. Letter by letter, I traced the words with my finger and silently mouthed the translation._

_FOLDER #: 4565320-26913  
LABEL: PAK DATA FOR DEFECT ZIM_

_CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL ACTIVATED_

_I froze. Did that mean…?_

_No, I thought. This was just a dream. It wasn't real. My mind was just seeing what it wanted to see. But then again, I_ _ **had**_   _passed out wearing Zim's PAK. Was it possible…?_

_Could Zim be…?_

_I had to find out._

_The thought barely left my mind when I spotted a heavy metal door that had_ _ **definitely**_   _not been there before. It opened as I took hesitant steps towards it- an invitation to go inside._

_And so I did, leaving The Wall and my nightmare behind._

**XXX**

I stood in Zim's living room.

I blinked a couple times. It was all here- the television, the worn sofa, the green and purple wallpaper, the picture of a wide-eyed monkey hanging on the wall. It was like nothing had ever happened- like I had just wandered in on summer day to embark on an impromptu spy mission. I spun around, expecting to see the field of lawn gnomes and the sunny street behind me.

Instead, I saw the crumbled remains of The Wall.

My heart pounded as I looked back at the living room. Something seemed… off. The details were right- I could even spot the "Dib was here :) " I had scratched onto his ceiling back in seventh grade- but there was something  _missing_. I gazed around like my life depended on memorizing each and every object in the room. Then, I realized what it was.

It was quiet.

There was always noise at Zim's house: GIR's shrieking laughter, Zim barking orders, Minimoose squeaking, the robot parents slamming into walls. But now? Nothing. "Hello?" I called, just to make my hearing wasn't damaged. As my voice echoed around the empty room, I took a couple cautious steps forward. "Zim?"

Silence.

As I walked, I caught sight of the television. It displayed The Irken insignia and the same word etched on the metal outside: CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL ACTIVATED.

"Zim?" I wandered into the kitchen. It was pristine, as always, and smelled lightly of disinfectant. The table was set with little green placemats and the toilet- which he had ignored my suggestions to move into an actual bathroom- sat in it's usual location next the fridge. "ZIM?! Are you there?"

"He can't answer you." A voice said.

I spun around. At the kitchen table- which had been empty just moments ago- sat an Irken I had never seen before. He was old and stooped, with drooping red eyes. Unlike the other Irkens I had met, he wore a simple brown robe tied with a rope.

"A native species." He appraised me with a nod. "Interesting. According to Defect Zim's files, the dominant life forms on this planet are 'humans', a technologically primitive race. But here you are, accessing classified Irken data. Either Zim was grossly misinformed or you, small human, are receiving outside help."

"Huh?"

"Perhaps Lard Nar sent you. The R.E.S.I.S.T.Y. would  _love_ to get their hands on Defect Zim's data, wouldn't they? After the incident with The Control Brains during that so-called 'trial', I'm surprised they didn't try to take Defect Zim's PAK when he was still alive."

I approached the table with slow steps. "Who are you?"

"Scientist Hok." The old Irken said, "I was the engineer that developed the original programming for our SIR units as well as The Containment Protocol for defective Irkens. There is a digital brain scan of me in each of my creations to ensure things run smoothly."

"Wait, Containment Protocol?"

I remembered Zim mentioning something about that.  _PAKs with the classification of defect are sealed! Those security settings are the highest in the Irken Empire! I can't access ANY of the data on my PAK! I can't even upload my data to a new host!_

"The PAK data for defective Irkens are sealed with a Containment Protocol to prevent the defect's data from being uploaded to The Control Brains. In addition to preventing data from being extracted, The Containment Protocol also safeguards the data from outside intruders, which begs the question..." Hok's red eyes were fixed on me. "How did an inferior life form like you get in here?"

"I... I don't know." I admitted. "I passed out wearing Zim's PAK."

He considered this for a moment and then nodded. "Now I understand. Your mind is rendering the PAK's data visually. Irken data has the capability to do this, as we will sometimes use holographic interface worlds to perform difficult repairs on malfunctioning SIR units as well as extensive PAK updates. It seems your subconscious has triggered this feature, allowing you to unconsciously hack Defect Zim's PAK despite the data being sealed."

"So everything in here is supposed to represent the software in Zim's PAK? That makes no sense! Like why does software need a toaster? And the refrigerator-"

"Don't start with that." He warned me.

I gazed around the room, feeling dizzy. "This is Zim's brain, right? Then where is he?"

"That's a philosophical problem. What makes a person who they are? Zim, as you know him, is simply the collective experience of all of the data stored in his PAK- memories, history files, engineering knowledge, spoken languages, etc. By that definition, he is everywhere and nowhere all at once. But I suppose you are referring to the location of his 'personality'- which is Zim's… err… Zimness, for lack of a better phrase."

"I guess… I guess that's been deleted, huh?"

"Of course not. It's located in The Control Center."

"Hold on." My brain whirled from the revelation. "So Zim's not-?!"

"He is quite dead." Hok kept his eyes trained on me. "But death is only a temporary state for Irkens. As long as our PAKs are still intact, we can upload ourselves to a new biological host at any time."

I blinked a couple times as I processed this. Since Zim's death, my emotions had howled and raged like a storm: stunned denial, blinding anger, frantic desperation, gouging sorrow and exhausted acceptance. But now, this old Irken was telling me that Zim wasn't  _really_  dead and bringing him back to life was as easy as downloading photos from the cloud?

I was furious.

"What the hell?!" I snapped. "He sounded so freaked out about dying but  _apparently_ it's only a minor inconvenience for him! You think he would have- I dunno- mentioned it or something? What's the big deal?!"

"There are fates far worse than death, human."

Shivers danced up my spine.  _Worse than death?_

Hok continued, in a cold, clinical voice. "The PAKs of defective Irkens, as I explained earlier, are sealed to prevent enemies of The Irken Armada from weaponizing their data. This same protocol also bars defects from uploading to a new host."

"So… what happens to them?"

"Nothing."

I stood there, waiting for him to elaborate but he just gazed at me. "Uh, that doesn't sound scary." I confessed.

"Perhaps it isn't, for a few moments." Hok interlaced his fingers. "Or even a few hours. But after decades of nothing, of being conscious without being able to see, hear, or communicate with the outside world-  _nothing_  is the most terrifying thing in this entire universe."

My stomach twisted and turned into knots.

Now Zim's reaction made sense.  _I can't access ANY of the data on my PAK!_ I could almost hear the scuff of his boots on lab's cold floor as he paced back and forth.  _I can't even upload my data to a new host! If you hadn't arrived when you did, I would be DEAD! No more Zim! NOTHING!_  The memory made me sick and I leaned forward on the table, ignoring the stab of pain from my back.

"I have to see him." I said.

Hok's expression didn't move, but his antennae perked up a little. Years of studying Zim in class had taught me that this gesture meant curiosity. It was an unspoken 'why?'.

I couldn't tell him the truth. Irkens, on the whole, were cruel creatures. Hok wouldn't- and probably  _couldn't_ \- understand that Zim's death was my fault. By ignoring his warnings and pleas for help, I had damned Zim to his worst fear for all eternity.  _There are fates I would not inflict on even my greatest enemy._ Zim had told me, but when the tables were turned I had done exactly that. I needed to see him.

I needed to set things right.

But I couldn't tell Hok that so I floundered for a lie. "You see," Pulling myself together, I attempted a casual lean on the back of a chair. "Zim and I are mortal enemies. He was sent to invade my planet, y'know? So I'm here..." I drew out the words as long as the syllables could stretch. "... to see him... and… laugh?"

"Laugh." His voice was flat.

I don't know why that popped into my head, but it did. Too late to take it back now, I thought. "Yeah! To gloat, y'know? That alien scum has made my life miserable for years and I want to rub it in his face!"

"And then...?"

I shrugged. "That's it!"

"Let me get this straight." Hok studied my face. "You connected yourself to an unfamiliar alien device that will kill you in less than ten minutes just to taunt your dead enemy?"

"Pretty much."

The old Irken gazed at me for a long time. As the pain in my back writhed and pulsed, I tried not to think about the seconds of my short lifespan that were ticking away. But eventually, Hok leaned forward in the chair and sighed.

"Under normal circumstances, I would err on the side of caution and eliminate you." He drummed his claws on the table as he spoke, "However… The Tallest had added some  _unusual_ modifications to the containment procedure of Defect Zim. Due to the nature of these modifications, I do believe they would approve of your visit. On these grounds, I will admit you entry to The Control Center."

 _Modifications?_ I thought, but I didn't dare ask.

"Here is what will happen next." Hok continued, "You will take the elevator to Library #6, where The Control Center is located. Inside, you will see The Containment Chamber and a screen that will be displaying a video feed. You must stop this feed with the red button on the keyboard. Once the feed has ended, you must press the green button to open a communication link with Defect Zim. I will give you approximately three minutes to speak him, after which I will automatically cut the line of communication."

I repeated the words in my head- over and over- like I child in a fairytale being given very specific instructions on how to break a spell.

"If you try to breach The Containment Chamber at any point in time, you will be terminated. If you attempt to extract data from Defect Zim that could negatively impact The Irken Empire, you will be terminated. After the conversation has finished, you will come upstairs and leave. If you return here again, you will be-"

"Terminated?" I guessed.

"I see you understand." There was just the slightest glint of amusement in his hard eyes. "One final warning, child. Time moves more quickly in here. You may find that Defect Zim… is not the same as you remember. Proceed with caution."

And he was gone.

The kitchen was empty again, like there had never been anyone there at all. I waited a moment to see if something else would happen, but nothing did. The warning haunted the room and I had the sudden urge to turn back around and return to my dream.

But instead, I stepped onto the toilet- cycled through the instructions in my mind- and descended into Zim's base.

**XXX**

As the elevator descended, nervous thoughts flittered around my brain like moths. Hok's final, ominous words bounced around the small metal room. What had he meant by that? I shook my head to clear my mind- I had to stay calm. There was no point in getting upset until I understood what I was dealing with. With great effort, I distracted myself by turning my mind towards translating the glowing, red labels on various elevator floors.

Library #1: Collective History Data

Library #2: Personal History Data

Library #3: Engineering and Mechanics

Library #4: Military Strategies and Camouflage Techniques

Library #5: Recipes for Taco Night (Happy, GIR?!)

Library #6: Control Center

I scrolled through the list, running my finger across the harsh glowing lines of the Irken letters and then I froze. There was another floor listed below The Control Center in a dull grey.

Library #7: Residue Filtration System [OFFLINE]

A memory of the glowing red dot on Zim's PAK came back to me. That had been thing Zim had been trying to fix, right? Because his PAK was unable to filter out psychic residue, he had been labelled defective and imprisoned here.  _With a built-in Residue Filtration System, Irkens have a unique advantage over of other species._ He had told me.  _Not only have we eliminated the need for wastelocks, but we can also ensure that our invaders won't be affected by the residue on other planets during their missions. It is a near perfect system!_

A world without wastelocks. It seemed too good to be true. If I had partnered up with Zim and learned more about the Residue Filtration System, maybe everything would have gone differently. We could have worked on a solution and taken down the maniac- together. Maybe we could have made a Residue Filtration System for me...

And that's when it hit me.

I gaped at grey words in awe as a seed of an idea began to sprout. It was brilliant. It was insane. A million different things could- and probably would- go wrong. But maybe…

Just  _maybe…_

My body trembled with excitement and I tried hard to keep it still, in case Hok was watching. But the more I thought about it, I knew it could work. It was a longshot, but the world was already doomed wasn't it? My plan- my tiny, struggling, fledgling of a plan- could save everyone. All I needed was one crucial ingredient.

The elevator stopped: The Control Center.

This was it. Now or never. If my crazier-by-the-minute plan worked, I could rescue Zim, stop The Residue and save the world. It all depended on what I found on the other side.

The doors opened.

**XXX**

The Control Center was laid out exactly the way Hok had described it.

It was a large, circular room bathed in cold blue light with a long screen lining the walls and a console near the entrance. In the center of the room was a huge glass tank filled with green liquid that wouldn't have been out of place in Dad's lab.

And there was Zim.

It wasn't like my cartoonish sketches in my notebook- Zim, floating around in a specimen jar with an angry scowl as I pointed and laughed at him. He was suspended in the liquid by large metal cuffs that engulfed his hands and feet but kept him splayed upright. The upper half of his head was covered by a metal helmet that hid his eyes, making it difficult for me to gauge if he was awake. But even though I couldn't see his face, I knew it was him.

"Zim!" I shouted, "It's me, Dib!"

Zim didn't respond.

I started towards him but at that moment, the screen flickered to life and an image of two Irkens stared down at me. They were both tall and thin, nearly identical to each other with the exception that one had red eyes and the other had purple.

 **Almighty Tallest Red and Almighty Tallest Purple** , Zim had let slip once during one of our fights before realizing his mistake and shrieking that he was a perfectly normal human.

Aptly named, I guess.

"You might notice that your ship isn't working." Red smirked at me. "That's because we've disabled it. We think it would be better for everyone if you were grounded on Earth permanently."

I scrambled for a response to his bizarre comment. "What are you-?"

"We have activated Containment Protocol # 4565320. It will seal your PAK data so it can't be used to corrupt The Control Brains again. That also means if you die, you won't be able to upload your body to a new host."

"You'd better take care of your current meat shell, Zim." Purple chimed in. "Too bad you're grounded on a planet that's like 70% water!"

As the two Irkens cackled so hard that they were nearly doubled over in their chairs, I realized that I was watching a video recording. I let out a trembling sigh of relief. While I had been bold and bratty enough to fire off questions at them as a kid, I knew now that was wiser  _not_ to piss off powerful aliens with an entire armada at their fingertips.

Red got control himself first. "But seriously, I know you're going to call us to complain about all this. Don't bother. Any incoming transmissions from Earth will be blocked. The Control Brains are pretty angry with you after that stunt you pulled at your Existence Evaluation, y'know. We couldn't change their minds even if we wanted to!"

"Not that we'd want to, of course." Purple added. Then, to someone off-screen, he shouted. "What's taking so long with those chips? I mean, how long does it take to go the kitchen and back, huh?!"

"We really need you to understand this." Red leaned closer to the screen, like he was talking to a slow child. "This is not a vacation. This is not a surprise party. This is not a secret mission. You are  _exiled_. We don't ever want to see you again, okay? You are not an invader, Zim. You're a  _defect_."

I stared up at his hard red eyes, feeling smaller than I ever have in my entire life.

"Well, this has been fun," Purple straightened up as an small Irken with a tray on his head bustled into the room, "But we have a whole bag of chips to eat so…"

The screen cut away to static. I stood there, confused and frightened. But before I could even process what I had just seen, there was a flicker and The Tallest were back.

Purple smiled, "Hello, Defect Zim."

"You might notice that your ship isn't working." Red grinned and the sight of both of them- side by side- leering at me, sent a chill up my spine. "That's because we've disabled it. We think it would be better for everyone if you were grounded on Earth permanently..."

Didn't he say that already?

I blinked as I realized what was happening. This was the video feed Hok was talking about but, for some bizarre reason, the recording was stuck on a loop. I watched the footage a little longer to confirm my theory- The Control Brains. Chips. Exile. Restart. The Tallest said the same thing, word for word, that they had said last time.

The computer must be broken, I thought. It was the only explanation that made sense. Why bother replaying this single clip over and over?

Unless…

I glanced back at Zim, who hadn't moved.

"This is not a vacation. This is not a surprise party. This is not a secret mission. You are  **exiled**."

Horror washed over me. This was the "modification" Hok had mentioned. As if it wasn't punishment enough to imprison Zim in his PAK, The Tallest had left a parting gift- the transmission that had sent Zim to my house two months ago in the rain.

The exact moment of his exile.

The footage had looped at least twice since I had gotten here- so how many times had Zim heard it since he died? How many times had he listened his leaders sneering down at him, tearing his identity apart, with no way to turn it off?

"We don't ever want to see you again, okay?"

Heart pounding, I hunted for the red button that Hok had instructed me to press. My eyes frantically scanned the keyboard until I found it, nestled between a cluster of larger buttons.

"You are not an invader, Zim. You're a-"

I slammed it and the screen went dark.

An eerie silence settled over the room as I glanced back at Zim. If he noticed that the feed had stopped, he gave no indication of it. He just sagged forward in his chains- still and unmoving. Hok's next set of instructions came to mind:  _once the feed has ended, you must press the green button to open a communication link with Defect Zim._

After another search, I pressed it and waited for something to happen. Irken words flashed on the screen where The Tallest's smug faces had once been:  _External communication link initializing in three..._

_Two…_

_One…_

Nothing.

I waited for a few moments, but the glowing words never changed. "How does this work?" I asked out loud hoping Hok, wherever he was, might hear me. No response. I returned to the keyboard and fiddled with a couple buttons. "Is there a microphone I need to talk into or-?"

"Hello, Dibstink."

My heart leapt into my throat. Zim's head was now inclined in my direction. Though I couldn't see his eyes, I knew he was looking right at me.

This is it, I thought.

This was my chance to make things right. It was time to say all the meticulously planned apologies I had been practicing in my head- over and over- since Zim's death. It was time to verbalize all of the hand-picked words and carefully constructed sentences I had designed to eloquently express the depths of my guilt and offer a diplomatic extension of goodwill.

But instead, I started babbling.

"Zim! You're here!" The words spilled out of my mouth so fast they were tripping over each other. "I-I took off your PAK and... and you stopped moving! Your eyes went gray! And I...I thought you were… but you're here! I mean, you are here right? It's really you?"

"What's left of me." His tone was cold and sharp, like a jagged piece of metal. "I shouldn't be surprised that  _you're_  here. You always were prying into my business when I was alive. That wouldn't change just because I'm dead."

The flatness of his words- so unlike the trumpeting voice I remembered- sent a cold chill through me. In many ways, Zim looked the way he always did. His red uniform was unchanged, his skin was still an unnatural green. But somehow, I knew Hok's words were true. Something about Zim seemed… off. This wasn't the dull-eyed, bleeding corpse I had covered with my trenchcoat, but this wasn't the cackling, grinning alien I had grown up with either.

I didn't know who this was.

"Well, congratulations!" Zim sneered. "You've solved the mystery, haven't you? You've exposed me for what I really am: not an invader, not a  _threat_. I'm nothing more than a pathetic little defect who needs to be quarantined!"

The room buzzed with the heavy silence that fell between us. I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out.

"Have you come here to mock me, Diblet? I can't say I blame you. What a unique opportunity! Your mighty enemy is finally vanquished. In our eternal battle for the fate of The Earth, you are the winner! You must be  _so_  proud."

I found my voice, hoarse and hesitant. "What are you talking about? I didn't win anything!"

"Don't be so  _modest,_  filth! Victory should be sweet! Although, it was never even a contest, was it? There was no question that you- little Dib- were  _always_  going to win. "

"That's not true."

"Of course it is! Even in my least lucid moments, I knew that I was destined to lose to you. You were cunning and ambitious but, most importantly of all, you were  _ruthless_. You waited until I was vulnerable- until I had come begging to you like a dog- and you cut me down. It was impressive, really. It's a shame you're human because The Irken Armada would have loved you..."

It took me a couple of moments to realize what he was talking about. The lab. After days of dancing around the subject, Zim had confessed his secret to me. He had been exiled. Alone and frightened, he reached out to me for help. And so, I did what I always did when I found a weakness in Zim.

I mercilessly exploited it.

"You're mad at me." I tried to put on a brave face, even though he couldn't see me. "And you should be. But if it's worth anything to you at all, I'm sorry. I was upset and tired, and things got out of control. I didn't  _mean_  any of-"

"DON'T YOU  _DARE_  LIE TO ME!"

"What-?"

"Don't you  _DARE_  tell me you didn't mean it!" He snarled, lunging forward. The metal restraints jerked him back but he fought against them. "You think I'm a worthless defect! SAY IT!"

Despite the glass between us, I backed away. "Zim, I-"

"You're no different than the rest of them! The Control Brains, The Tallest- ALL OF THEM! It doesn't matter how many times I try to tell you all that you're wrong about me, does it?! I can scream until my voice is gone but I'll never change your minds! My mission is a failure! I'M A FAILURE! THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, ISN'T IT?"

"I never said-"

"I'M NOT A FAILURE! I AM  _ZIM_! AND WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL DESTROY YOU, DIB! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL KILL YOU AND YOUR SISTER AND EVERY HUMAN ON THIS FILTHY PLANET!"

I cowered back against the console- terrified. That's when I realized the horrible truth.

Zim had lost his mind.

Hok said Zim might be different and he was right. The loss I felt back in Nny's basement as I stood over Zim's limp, bleeding corpse boiled inside me all over again. I had come too late. The Tallest's voices hung over the room: Exiled. Defect. Zim had an ego as thick as three suits of armor encased in concrete but those bastards had chipped away at it, word-by-word, over and over and over, until he couldn't take it anymore.

He had snapped.

Frustrated tears threatened to spill down my cheeks but I blinked them back as I watched Zim, thrashing and raging and screaming inside the tank.

"WHAT'S WRONG, HUMAN?! AM I  _SCARING_  YOU?! DID YOU RUN AWAY LIKE THE FILTHY COWARD YOU ARE?!"

I didn't know how to stop him- I was a paranormal investigator, not a psychologist. Zim had been shattered beyond all repair and what was I supposed to do? Put him back together? It would be like a two-year old trying to complete a three thousand piece jigsaw puzzle in record-breaking time. He was so broken I didn't even know where to begin.

"DIB?! ARE YOU STILL THERE?! I COMMAND YOU TO ANSWER ME!"

The Zim in my memories was a soldier. He might lose a fight or have a plan blow up in his face, but he was always back next week- gleefully cackling about another evil scheme he had hatched up. But this thing inside the tank- this screeching, writhing animal- wasn't Zim at all.

 _I don't want to see this._ I thought.  _I shouldn't have come._

"DIB!"

When had everything gotten so messed up? Life was so much simpler when I was a kid! My days had been filled with spaceships, laser battles and evil plans to be thwarted. Good was good, evil was evil and Zim was Zim. The world made sense back then!

"DIB, ANSWER ME!"

Now it was all wrong. I clamped my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes shut. My back pulsed with hot, shooting pain. I couldn't do this anymore. No more wall monsters and serial killers. No more sleepless nights. No more Zim, raging like a lunatic. I wanted things to go back to normal.

"DIB!"

Claustrophobia welled up inside me. I had to get out of here.

"Dib?! Are… are you still there?!"

I ran to the elevator.

"D-Dib?"

I pressed the button and waited for the metal doors to slide open.

"Don't... don't go! I _order_ you to come back!"

My stomach squirmed with guilt as I stood there, my back to the tank.

"Can you hear me? Are… you still there? I… I won't yell anymore! Come back! Come back _now!_ "

There was a soft  _ding!_ and the elevator arrived. As the doors opened, I glanced over my shoulder to take one last look at what was left of Zim. He sagged forward against his restraints, his chest heaving in ragged, gasping breaths.

"DIB!" He called, one last time.

And then, he began to cry.

Over the years, I had seen a variety of emotions from Zim- smug satisfaction, blazing rage, hissing jealousy, cackling glee- but I had never, in my entire life, seen him cry. I couldn't help but to stare in stunned silence as he fell forward into rasping sobs. They weren't sobs of sorrow, I realized. They were sobs of  _fear_.

He was just as afraid as I was.

 _What am I doing?_ I thought. I had descended in a homicidal maniac's torture den without batting an eyelash to save Zim, but now I was going to run away? No. I couldn't abandon him- not again. With renewed determination, I started walking back towards the tank. 

“Your little tricks can’t fool me, Zim.” I said. 

His head lifted at the sound of my voice. "D-Dib?"

“That’s what I said, remember? That first day I chased you home from school with those stupid handcuffs I had ordered from a UFO magazine.” I stopped, inches from the glass. The words came naturally to me, like I had been preparing to say them my entire life. “You can’t hide forever. And if you can, I’ll wait forever.”

“That’s...” Zim’s voice was hoarse, “That’s when I zapped you with the gnomes. You said you’d be back. That you’d hunt me down. To the ends of The Earth...” 

“...To the depths of the oceans. I made a promise then and I am standing by it now. I’m not going anywhere.”

He said nothing for a while. And then, a slight, trembling smirk flickered across his lips. 

“You never could just leave me alone, could you?” He asked.

I grinned. “Not a chance, spaceboy.”

We were both silent as Zim took slow breaths to steady himself. When he spoke again, his voice still trembled, but it sounded a little stronger- a little more like the Zim I remembered. "I… I shouldn't have screamed at you. No Irken should ever lose control like that! And then  _crying_? There… there really is something wrong with me."

"No, there isn't."

"It's not an opinion. It's a  _fact_. I've always known it, but I didn't believe it mattered. I thought if I could conquer an entire world then the others would recognize the potential in me that I knew I possessed! Possibilities as endless as the universe itself…"

I remembered his words, that night he had come to my house in the rain.  _When I was a smeet, I used to sneak up to the surface and look at all of the stars, trying to guess which one would be mine to destroy._  I imagined a small Zim, sitting on the surface of a barren world, dreaming a grand future for himself.  _  
_  
"Now look at me." Zim sighed, exhausted. "I died as an defective outcast, stranded on an anonymous planet light years away from home. The mission is a failure.  _I_ am a failure…"

"Don't say that! You don't need a stupid world domination quest to make you who you are. You're  _Zim_ , remember?"

"Spare me your platypuses, human."

"It's  _platitudes_  and I'm being serious! Maybe you failed at destroying The Earth, but you know what? I just failed at protecting it. So I guess as far as heroes and villains go, we're pretty much the worst, huh?"

He risked a wobbling smile.

"Who cares about all of that anyway?" I continued, "Heroes and villains, right and wrong, good and evil- those words mean nothing. This is a world where homicidal maniacs roam the streets, monsters lurk in in the walls and everything has gone mad. I've grown out of our game, Zim. I don't  _want_  an enemy anymore! But maybe… maybe I could use a friend."

I hadn't planned on saying that but as soon as the words left my lips, I knew they were true. I now understood why he had come to me that night; it was the same reason I was here now.

We needed each other.

He had realized it first, damn him. When his leaders had left him stranded here, he had turned to the one person who actually cared whether he lived or died. Sure we were enemies, but he had seen the potential for a possible ally. He needed me.

And I needed him.

"I don't have much time left." I took a deep breath. "The residue escaped and The Earth is in danger. I need your help."

Zim shrunk back in the tank. " _My_ help?! I can't!"

"Yes, you can. I believe in you!"

"It's not a matter of  _belief_! In all my research, I have  _never_  encountered any record of an interdimensional residue leak! There is nothing I- or anyone- can do to stop it! Your best option is to evacuate while you still have time!"

"I have an another idea-"

"Of  _course_  you do!"

"- but it won't work without you." Though he couldn't see me, I placed a hand on the glass. "You said you're out of a mission, right? Well, I'm giving you a new one. Help me save this planet, Zim. I realize it's little and unimportant when compared to the rest of the universe, but we've fought over it for so long that we can't let it end like this."

Zim said nothing. He just hung in the tank, suspended in the green liquid, his mouth flattened into a hard line as he considered my words. I found that- for the first time ever- I had no idea what he was thinking.

When he did speak again, his voice came slowly. "Even if I agree to this- which I am  _not_ saying that I am- I can do nothing with this Containment Protocol restricting me."

"Well, then." My hand curled into a fist. "I guess we'll just have to do something about that, huh?"

And then, I punched the glass.

A lifetime of battling Zim had taught me that there were two types of plans: meticulously designed plans with well tested, troubleshooted steps and plans where you wing everything and hope for the best.

This plan fell in the second category.

As soon as my fist smashed through the glass, an alarm shrieked in protest. The screen bathed the room in red light as flashing words blazed on the screen: CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL BREACHED! A jet of the green liquid blasted through hole but I ignored it, reeling back my fist. I punched it again.

"What on IRK did you just do?!" Zim gasped as he surfaced above the draining liquid. "You're not trying to hack the Containment Protocol, are you?!"

I scrambled to my feet and smashed through the rest of the jagged hole as I made a break for Zim, my feet slapping against the wet floor. My back throbbed in pain as I jumped up and seized the cuff around his arm. I dug my fingers into the metal grooves and tried to pry them apart.

"You STUPID monkey!" Zim cried, but his voice was drowned out as turrets dropped from the ceiling and fired off red and purple lasers. "These are the highest security settings in The Irken Empire! There's no  _way_  you could-"

A shot exploded the tank wall next to us, showering me with glass shards. They lashed at my face but I kept pulling- ignoring Zim's yelling. If I could just free him...

"Do you think this is wise?" a voice said.

Hok stood next to the console, his face shadowed by the red light. My back exploded with pain now but I absorbed it; I allowed it to fuel me.

"You are already low on time." Hok reminded me, "Do you really want to waste your last moments like this?"

I knew he was right- The PAK had been connected to me far too long. Pain ripped through my back and my temples throbbed as I focused all of my energy on the restraints. The metal shuddered in my grasp but held fast. I kept at it, even as the pressure inside my head screamed like a boiling kettle. My vision started to dissolve; my entire body trembled with effort.

But I didn't give up.

I  _couldn't_  give up.

The events of the past three days hit me with a tidal wave of images- Nny's grinning face, Squee screaming my name, the doughboys cackling in glee, Zim convulsing on a table, the crack in The Wall. My life, my sanity- everything spiraled out of control like a never-ending nightmare. But I wasn't to take it anymore.

_This was my nightmare now._

With one last burst of effort, I tugged the cuff open. The Irken words on the screen flashed "ERROR!" as the other three restrainments automatically unlocked. Zim and I crashed to the floor of the tank where we laid in a groaning heap in a puddle of green liquid and broken glass. Hok's red eyes widened in stunned amazement.

"What is this?!" Zim wrenched off the metal helmet and stared at the room, his ruby eyes shimmering in confusion. "Where are we?!"

Hok's face had gone pale. "That's impossible!"

Zim ignored him and shook my shoulder, causing little shockwaves of pain to pulse through my body. I had landed on my back- hard. "Why is my PAK data being represented visually?! Tell me you are using the hologram headset in my lab! You weren't STUPID enough to connect directly to my PAK, were you?!"

A jolt of pain shot up my spine. "Maybe." I managed.

"You need to wake up and disconnect NOW!"

"No."

"YOU  _WRETCHED_ , STUBBORN-"

"Listen." I said, forcing him to look at me. If things weren't so serious, I would have laughed at the way his baffled antennae stuck out at odd angles. "It's been more than ten minutes. I'm not going to make it. I  _know_ I'm not going to make it. That's why I need your help, Zim."

"What you are talking about?!"

"When I die, my body will be an empty shell. It's yours. Fix the Residue Filtration System in your PAK and use it to destroy the monster for good. Then you can take my ship and go wherever you want. You'll be free for the rest of your life."

"Are you listening to yourself?" His antennae flattened. "That's insane!"

"You're the only chance The Earth has left. It's funny when you think about it. I doomed the planet and now you're going to save it." I managed a wry grin. "The world really has gone crazy, hasn't it?"

My back throbbed and I knew this was it. Zim would lean over me as tears streamed down his face and, with the last of my strength, I would say something inspirational- a phrase destined as a future yearbook quote or tattoo- and then my eyes would close and I would be gone. I took a deep breath, prepared to say my final words.

Zim smacked me.

The blow hit me hard across the side of my face, knocking my glass off. I gasped in pain and my hand flew up my stinging cheek. "What the hell, Zim?!"

He got to his feet, dusting off his uniform. When he glared back down at me, his red eyes burned like fire.

" _That_  was your big plan?!" He snapped. "To kill yourself?! Why do INSIST on acting like a martyr all the time? It's annoying!"

"I'm not acting like a martyr!" The childness in my voice embarrassed me. "I'm making things right. All of this is  _my_  fault! Your death, the residue escaping-"

"And so you choose to curl up and die like a coward? Have you learned  _nothing_  from me?! If you think you're going to leave me to clean up your mess, you foolish water sac, then you are sorely mistaken! We will be going back together or not at all!"

He scowled at me. There was a familiar gleam in his eyes now. A brilliant, dangerous and insane spark blazed back to life.

"Welcome back, alien scum." I said.

"Glad to be back, pig smelly." Zim smirked, straightening up to his full height. "You have done well, despite being so pathetically inferior, but I must finish this mission alone. It's time I reclaimed my incredible Zim brain from these undeserving fools!"

Over the past several years, it was easy forget that Zim was an Irken Elite, with several decades of military training. He was, after all, my alien nemesis who shrieked at germs and aimed spitballs at me during class. But despite all of his maniacal laughter and back-fired schemes, I occasionally caught a flash of competence that reminded me that Zim- silly, ridiculous Zim- really  _could_  conquer the entire planet if he set his mind to it.

This was one of those times.

Zim surged forward, deftly swerving and dodging the laser blasts that exploded around him, bathing his face in alternating flashes of red and purple. It looked like a coordinated dance that had taken weeks of meticulous practice to perform.

Hok materialized in front of him to stop his progress, but Zim cut through him- scattering the hologram into static. The turret hanging above the console aimed and missed him as he reached the keyboard. But instead of stopping at it, Zim hopped on top of the console and leapt up to seize the turret. It began firing in a panic as he pulled himself onto it's head. As it shot wildly, he tugged on the barrel and aimed the blasts in a wide arc around the room, striking the other turrets. They detonated in a fiery domino of explosions.

Hok rematerialized, with real fear in his eyes. "I command you to stop!"

Zim ignored him and aimed his panicked turret upward at the ceiling and it fired at it's own base. Without hesitation, Zim leapt off and landed on the floor as the sparking, sizzling remains of the turret crashed to the ground beside him. Then he started walking.

"You must cease your hacking attempts." Hok protested, as Zim leaned over the keyboard. "I am an Irken security protocol, Defect Zim. If you deactivate me, that will be considered treason of highest-"

" _What_  did you just call me?" Zim snarled.

Hok froze, realizing his mistake. With a look of terror, opened his mouth to shout orders but Zim tapped a couple buttons on the keyboard and the old Irken lurched forward, hitting the floor. His entire body began flickering in and out of existence.

"I am INVADER Zim, you fool! Never forget that!"

Zim slammed on the keyboard and Hok burst in an explosion of red numbers and symbols. They faded away into the air like an after-image as new words flickered onto the screen: CONTAINMENT PROTOCOL DEACTIVATED.

However, Zim didn't stop to celebrate his victory. Instead, he leaned over the keyboard and began tapping again.  _External communication link initializing in three, two, one…_ "Computer!"

"Zim?" The flat voice of his base's computer droned through the speakers. "Aren't you-?"

"I need a status update on the Dib-monkey's vital signs!"

"Uhh... they're all pretty bad. He's been connected to your PAK too long."

"Stabilize him!" Zim began typing furiously on the keyboard. "I'm going recode the PAK to accept his body chemistry!"

"Okay, but isn't Dib your-"

"SHUT UP! Do as your master commands!"

"Sheesh, I'm just trying to help. Initializing life-support..."

As the adrenaline began to pump out of my veins, exhaustion settled over me. I laid on the ground, ignoring the glass shards that prickled my skin and the sticky green liquid on the floor. Zim's thin fingers danced across keyboard as his eyes flickered up to the screen and back down to his hands, racing through a string of code I couldn't even begin to understand. The edges of the room began to turn white like a fading photograph.

"Stupid human DNA!" Zim was shrieking at the computer. "Why do you have so many chromosomes?!"

I wasn't scared. Everything felt far away now and my mind- for the first time in weeks- was calm. I watched Zim race to save my life like I was lying on the grass, watching clouds float through a clear sky.

Zim cast a glance over his shoulder. "Stay with me, human! I'm almost there!"

The darkness threatened to take me, but I struggled to stay above it. I'm not going anywhere, I had promised Zim.

I was going to keep my promise.

At that moment, the pain disappeared. The Irken insignia flashed on the screen but flickered into static. When the screen returned, a new symbol had taken it's place- a familiar apathetic blue smiley face.

NEW USER REGISTERED

NAME: DIB MEMBRANE  
SPECIES: EARTH-MONKEY  
PERSONALITY: ANNOYING  
THREAT LEVEL: ABSURD  
INTELLIGENCE: MEH  
DESCRIPTION: SMELLY  
CLASSIFICATION: ALLY

PAK INTEGRATION SUCCESSFUL.

WELCOME DIB MEMBRANE!

Zim's shoulders relaxed and he released a long sigh of relief. But when began walking back over to me, his face was unreadable again- the perfect expression of a soldier. The screen, the hallway, the broken glass chamber- everything around us began to fade away until there nothing left but the two of us in a white void.

Zim knelt beside me; his eyes softened. "I owe you a debt of gratitude."

"I know…" I managed. My eyelids felt heavy. "And Irkens... don't like to owe debts..."

"I'll make an exception just this once. Thank you, my Dib. In the end, you were the only one by my side. I will now repay this favor to you, if you will allow me the honor." He held out a hand, not as a handshake, but like he was about to help me stand. "Truce?"

I held out a trembling hand and placed it in his. "Truce."

"Good." Light flooded the room now and all I could hear was his voice. "We have a mission to complete. Let us fight together for this miserable planet once again."

Everything went white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last full chapter will be posted Monday/Tuesday. However, I have some big edits to make on that one so if it will be late, I'll post something on Tumblr. We're hitting the end now, so I want to make sure I don't horribly disappoint everyone!


	18. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Well, this is it! Thanks for all the reviews and comments. Now it's time to kick some ass!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. And fine, I'll admit it! I did borrow that yo-yo, alright?! Happy now?!

**v0x3lr0t:** DIB!  
**v0x3lr0t:** I've tried calling you like ten times!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Pick up your phone!  
**v0x3lr0t:** Look. I don't know what's going on, but I'm not worried.  
**v0x3lr0t:** You're going to win, like you always do. I know that because you're you. You're stubborn and stupid and you're going to kick ass!  
**v0x3lr0t:** So finish up this "fate of the world" stuff already because guess what?  
**v0x3lr0t:** We're having tacos tonight.

**XXX**

_DIB!_

My mind grasped at something. A strange dream, drifting out of my reach. What was it it again? What had I been doing?

_DIB!_

Everything hurt. My entire body felt sore, like I had slept in a ditch on the side of the road. As my eyes opened, I expected to see my fan- spinning in lazy circles- but instead I found a cracked gray slab. I was lying on a floor.

_DIB, YOU STUPID MONKEY! WAKE UP!_

Something unlocked in my brain. I remembered an empty, sneering alien faces and Zim- shaking my hand as everything went white.

"Zim?" I tried to ask, but my voice came out as a croak. My entire throat felt dry, I needed water. Something uncomfortable bulged on my back, like a huge tumor. I rolled over but the sensation didn't go away and I reflexively reached for it. The tips of my fingers brushed against warm metal. "You're… inside my head?"

_Yes, you fool! Now get up! In case you haven't noticed there is a GIANT mass of psychic residue about to kill us!_

Memories flooded back to me. Squee, staring at the bloody handprint. Squee, pale and trembling. Squee, collapsing to the ground. I had been screaming his name as The Wall broke and reality shattered around us.

Squee.

I shot straight up. Beside me, was Zim's dead body staring up at the ceiling. Psychodoughboy and Mr. Eff lay a few feet away, their decapitated heads grinning up at me. In the distance, there was a coil of crumbled duct-tape and a single knife.

"SQUEE!" I screamed.

Then I saw him- a small, limp figure on the floor.

And then I saw  _it._

As the Wall crumbled, something black and horrible was emerging like a dinosaur from an egg. The screams of cracking wood, Squee's pale face, the pain in the back of my head- everything swirled together and rose into a crescendo of confusion and horror.

"Squee!" was I could say.

I scrambled to my feet and began to run, while Zim shouted something my brain was too distracted to comprehend. I lunged to the floor and pulled Squee into my lap, ignoring the puddle of blood that soaked into my pants.

"No!" My hands shook as I fumbled for his wrist to take a pulse. When I saw the silt running down it, my stomach twisted. "Squee!" I clutched him to my chest. "What- what do I do?!"

_There is nothing to be done; the child is as good as dead! We must leave now before it sees us!_

"I'm not leaving him here!"

_ARGH! You're infuriating!_

As I held Squee, clutching him the way he once held his bear, I had a perfect view of the monster. It was everything I had seen in my dream all at once- a horrible tangle of tentacles, half remembered faces, grinning skulls, shadows and blazing yellow eyes- both familiar and unfamiliar like a fairytale being retold as a nightmare.

I felt everything that it felt. The throbbing, happy pain of the concrete splinters sticking of it's sides from where it squeezed through the wall, the tangible feeling of the floorboards beneath it, the musty air of the basement.

But mostly it just felt hungry.

I tightened my grip on Squee and squeezed my eyes shut. No, those weren't my emotions. I had to keep myself separate. I had to-

"I'm sorry…" I heard a soft voice. Squee was half-awake, staring up at me. "I... I thought if I gave it blood, then it would save you…"

"It's okay." I had to dredge the words out of my brain. "Are you alright?"

"I feel dizzy… and my hand hurts…"

"You lost a lot of blood, okay? Just close your eyes and try to-"

"Master!" GIR ran over to us and almost tackled me to the ground with a hug. "You not dead no more!"

 _Get off us, GIR!_ Zim snarled, but with little malice.  _Activate medical procedure #132 on subject… err, what's the little stink monster's name?_

"Squee." I choked out.

_Activate medical procedure #132 on subject Squee!_

GIR's eyes flashed red and he saluted. Then he snatched Squee's bleeding wrist away from me and squeezed it. Squee screamed in agony.

"Stop it!" I shouted, but Zim's voice cut in.

_Don't interfere! SIR units are the best medics in the galaxy! Err, y'know… when they work right. Anyway, I can't guarantee the boy will live but we will at least buy him some time._

"BLOODFLOW TO INJURY SITE CEASED. This'll hurt only a lot!" GIR's eyes flashed back to blue when he saw Squee looking at him. The boy whimpered as a nozzle emerged from GIR's head and doused his hand in a smelly green liquid. "INJURY SITE DISINFECTED! APPLYING COMFORTING WORDS! Your hand's gonna fall off! COMFORTING WORDS APPLIED!"

I could feel the monster- the connection between us still holding strong- exploring the confines of the room with curiosity. It lifted it's head, if you could call that a head, and smelled the suffering that lingered in the halls. It was hungry.

So hungry.

"APPLYING SEALANT!" With the vice grip on Squee's arm, GIR held the boy's hand out. Then, the robot held up his other hand like he was about to give Squee the most painful high five of his entire life. Instead, a panel opened up in his palm and a stringy web like substance sprayed along Squee's wrist. "SEALANT APPLIED!"

Squee let out the terrified sob he had been holding back and I clutched him closer.

"It's okay." I whispered. "It can't hurt you, remember?"

"Not while you're around." He murmured into my jacket.

_DIB! WE NEED TO GO!_

Without even looking, I knew what the creature was doing. It was free now, it was in our reality, so it had no more use for puppets. It was hungry and it could hunt for itself. For a moment, it glanced around with glowing yellow eyes and then found what it was looking for.

Us.

My senses fled back like they were running for their lives. I lurched onto my feet, dragging Squee up with me, trying to ignore the throbbing pain behind my skull. My head spun, disoriented, swarmed with thoughts I couldn't control.

"We need to leave!" I told Squee, "Can you walk?!"

Squee couldn't walk so I lifted him. He was a little too heavy for me, but I didn't care. I ran anyway.

I felt spilt in two. As we ran, I could feel Squee gripping my shirt as he tried not to pass out from the sudden shift in movement and I could feel the monster, it's interest piqued by the tiny moving things. It was seized by the sudden urge to give chase, like a cat who has just spotted a mouse scurrying across the kitchen floor. I felt it's intention of stopping us even before the tentacle shot out and attempted to seize my ankle.

I braced myself for impact- but it never came. Just as the tentacle would have snatched me, metal legs extended from my back and we lurched into the air. Squee screamed in surprise and my stomach dropped as we went scurrying across the room like a drunk ant.

 _Irk, must I do everything?!_ Zim snapped.

I closed my eyes but opened them again when Zim yelled that he couldn't see. So I was forced to watch as we darted through a collapsing door. I heard the crash of the concrete as the monster squeezed out after us.

"It's catching up!" I shouted, as we navigated a narrow hallway.

_Obviously! We stand no chance at outrunning this creature. It's impossible!_

"Then what are we going to-?"

_Stay silent!_

We hung a sharp turn and went scurrying up the side of the wall like a spider. I clamped a hand over Squee's mouth to muffle his surprised yelp as the monster hit the corner and surged down the hallway below us- a mass of faces and tentacles oozing down the corridor like a slug. I tried not gag on the smell of rotten flesh and decayed food it left behind.

It felt like an eternity until it disappeared around the corner and Zim lowered us back to the ground. I planted my feet in trail of purple slime it left behind as Zim retracted the PAK legs.

GIR trotted up next to us, waving to the monster. "Bye!"

It took several moments for me to regain my breath. We had to get out of here. The sooner we escaped, we could go back to Zim's lab, work on his Residue Filtration System and stop the monster before it did anymore damage to The Earth.

"There is a tunnel that leads to Squee's house." I told Zim. "We need to get up to the surface and back to your lab. I'm sure Squee's parents have a car we can… you know,  _borrow_."

_Then we must not waste any more time! The more suffering it absorbs, the larger it will grow! And now that it can hunt for itself…_

He didn't have to say anything else.

"GIR, activate your guidance chip." I said, clutching Squee closer. "Let's get-"

Screams.

Agonized, terrified screams blasted through the hallway in front of us. With a lurch, I remembered all of Nny's poor victims.. There were dozens of people trapped down here- marinating in exhaustion and pain- all giftwrapped for slaughter. And, the monster was  _hungry_.

Zim bristled in annoyance.  _Don't you even THINK about suggesting-!_

"We can't just let them all die!"

_I'm not sacrificing our lives for stupid humans!_

"I'm a stupid human!"

 _Yes, but you're MY stupid human. There's a difference! We will remember their noble sacrifices and y'know, whatever!_ I didn't realize I could control the PAK legs until Zim started to make them run and I resisted. We wavered back and forth, like we doing some sort of weird dance. Zim's fury bubbled up inside me.  _YOU WRETCHED, STUBBORN-!_

"You said it yourself, Zim- if it kills all of those people, it's going to grow stronger! Then it doesn't really matter how much we run! It will destroy  _everything_!" An idea popped into my head. "Hey, how fast can you fix your RFS?"

 _It's difficult to say; the Residue Filtration System is a extremely complex- WAITAMINUTE!_   _You can't POSSIBLY be thinking-?!_

"The Containment Protocol was the only thing stopping you, right?"

_B-But, I'm not in my lab! I can't run any tests! And my notes-_

"You've been studying those schematics for months! I'll bet you have the whole thing memorized by now."

_Yes, but it's hard enough to fix in a dedicated environment; there's no WAY I can do it in battle! If I change the wrong code, the PAK could overload and we could both die!_

"Look, I know I'm asking a lot but you can do it! This is your new mission, remember? And you  _never_  give up on your mission!"

There was a long silence, but I could feel the flicker of Zim's emotions- hesitation, fear and, finally, surrender.

 _Very well,_ He sighed, the verbal equivalent of throwing his hands up in exasperation.  _We will try your stupid plan!_

"Look, if you really don't want-"

_ZIM does not back down from a challenge!_

I smiled. "No, he doesn't."

 _I could run a diagnostic check and utilize the emergency internal repair unit,_ Zim was saying. The cogs in his mind already whirred.  _In the meantime, I'll download Skoodge's schematics from my memory files. But all of this will require time!_

"I can get you that." Then I looked down at Squee, who had fallen unconscious in my arms.  _Not while I'm around,_ I had promised him.

Time to keep my promise.

"Take him to the surface, okay?" I handed Squee over to GIR who, despite not being much bigger than the boy, carried him with ease. "Make sure he's safe."

The robot's eyes flashed red and he saluted me. "Yes, sir!"

Then he was rocketing off down the hallway. I heard a sickening crack in the distance, and hoped it wasn't Squee's head being smashed against something. Then, testing the PAK legs, I wobbled forward a couple steps. "You ready?" I asked.

_Irkens are always ready, human! Are you?_

"Let's kick some ass."

**XXX**

We followed the screams to a wide room at the end of the hall.

As I entered, I… well, I can't really describe what I felt. It wasn't a single feeling, it was a tumultuous mixture of different feelings that would take scientists years to untangle and organize on a colorful pie-chart. Shock. Disgust. Pity. Distress. Who knew what the exact percentages were?

How many people had Nny taken? There had to be dozens of them, bound and gagged, suspended upside from the walls in bizarre duct-tape cocoons, squiggling and screaming as the monster lumbered towards them.

"Hey!" I yelled. As the monster turned around, I felt more afraid than I had ever been in my entire life. But that's the thing about courage. You ignore all of the warning signs and flashing "turn back!" signals, and do what you have to do. "Don't touch them!"

Then I stabbed it with one of the PAK legs.

The creature screamed and thrashed in pain, as I wrenched the leg back out and just barely had time to scuttle to the side as the creature swiped at me. I scurried across the room, like a cockroach avoiding a shoe, as it screamed and swiped at me again.

I jabbed it once. Twice. Dodge. Three times.

I felt it's pain and enjoyed it, just as it had enjoyed mine. I tried to absorb it, to allow it to make me stronger and faster. Another jab. More pain. Jab. Pain. Jab. Pain.

"Does this thing have any weapons?!" I asked, ducking as a tentacle swung over my head and crashed into the wall, knocking several of the cocoons loose. I winced as they crashed to the ground. "Zim?!"

_Zim is a bit busy, stink-boy!_

Right. The RFS. Better let him concentrate.

I threw a glance back over my shoulder, but I couldn't see any obvious buttons on the PAK to hit. Zim controlled the whole thing with his mind then. As the monster raised another tentacle, I thought:  _Shoot it!_

A panel opened on the PAK and huge cannon reared out over my head. The sudden shift in weight caused me to topple over sending an enormous green laser blast exploding over the monster and into the ceiling. The monster recoiled and people screamed as huge chunks of concrete came raining down.

 _What just happened?!_ Zim shrieked _._

"Uh…" I shooed the cannon away as the PAK legs scrambled to get me upright again. "Wasn't me!"

Clearly, I had to be more specific.  _Blasters?_ I suggested. Two little blasters rose up and settled on my shoulder. Perfect!

I stepped over a couple people who were squirming away from the fight and aimed at the monster.  _Pew! Pew! Pew!_ I thought.

As the monster turned it's thousands of eyes towards me, the blasters fired off alternating red and purple lasers that exploded against the monster's skin like fireworks. It raged, flailing in pain and anger. As it smashed against a wall, I heard several terrified screams.

These quarters were too close. We needed to move out of here before we hurt someone.

I fired off a few more blasts to catch the monster's attention and scurried out into the hallway. The creature exploded through the door, crashing into the wall before making a hard turn to follow me. I ran as fast as the legs could go-

-until the legs suddenly retracted.

_ERROR_

I crashed hard to the ground. "Zim, what the hell?!"

_Blorch! It malfunctioned! This is too much for the PAK too handle at the same time! Give me a second to-_

He didn't get to finish that sentence because just as I scrambled to my feet, my human legs pulled out from under me. I barely had time to yell before the creature started to drag me away.

 _Pew! Pew!_  I thought.  _Shoot!_   _Do something!_

But no blasters or canons came to my rescue. The PAK sat on my back, as inert and motionless as my regular school bag.

"Zim!" I cried as I clawed the floorboards, trying to catch a hold of  _something_ , but my fingernails just scraped against the wood. "Not to rush you but FIXITNOW!"

_Don't you think I'm trying, worm?! This is advanced alien technology your brain cannot possibly comprehend! I'm going as fast as I can!_

But as the creature lifted me into the air, I knew he wouldn't be able to do it in time. It dangled me above one of it's huge, gaping mouths. All of losses, all of the days sitting alone on the playground, all of the longing to be noticed, all of my frustration with Zim… everything I had ever suffered would amount to nothing more than a snack to this creature.

The monster knew this, of course.

It felt my terror and basked in it. The anticipation swelled until it could no longer stand it and it lowered me towards it's huge, pulsating tongue. I squeezed my eyes shut, awaiting my death.

"Hey! You fucking FUCK!"

Through the terror, I heard a sound like the rumbling of thunder. I forced my eyes open and saw a long shadowy figure standing at the end of the hallway. Nny.

And he had a chainsaw.

The creature let me dangle there as he examined Nny. My suffering was satisfying snack, but Nny had been marinating in anger and sorrow for so long that he was a rare delicacy.

"You like that, don't you?" Nny sneered, "You've been working on me for a long time. Years of my goddamn life wasted on painting a wall- feeding YOU- and now I've become everything you wanted me to be! I could have been an artist! I could have CREATED things! But now I'm just a pawn in your stupid game!"

Then his voice lowered and I could barely hear him over the rumbling engine.

"I am fully aware that's my fault. This child has fought you more in the past couple days than I have in my entire life. It's sad, isn't it? How easily I gave you everything?" He hesitated- for just a moment- but then he looked up, a hard glint of defiance in his eyes. "But you know what? I know what you are now and maybe I can't stop you but I'm sure as hell going to try! So FUCK OFF!"

The blade flashed as Nny raised it and brought it down hard through the tentacle holding me. The chainsaw screamed through the monster's flesh. I crashed to the ground and seized the wall to avoid being swept away in a tidal wave of black blood. Tugging myself to my feet, I watched a the monster screeched and writhed and thrashed in pain. It had fed on suffering, but it had never  **felt**  it.

A shadow fell over me. Nny stood by my side, the creature's blood dripping down his face and the blade of the chainsaw. "Are you alright?!"

I could barely hear him over the rumbling engine. "Where did you get that?!"

"Huh?"

"I SAID WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?"

His face broke out into a cheerful grin. "Neat, right? I have a couple of them scattered around down here! They really useful for dismembering- uh, nevermind! So what's the plan?!"

"How did you know I have a plan?!"

"You're a paranormal investigator, right?!" The monster lurched towards us but Nny tugged the cord and the chainsaw revved again. It backed away in fear. "You must have something in that brilliant head of yours!"

"I do, actually! But I need time!"

"Then run! I'll hold it off!" Then, his voice softened and gave me a sad smile. "I didn't want this for you, Dib. And I certainly didn't want it for my little Squee. I wish things had turned out differently. I… I rather liked having you as a friend."

"Same here." I answered and I really, truly meant that.

We fell silent for a moment and I knew we were both thinking about a future that could have been different for both of us. It could have been one of those nice hallmark stories about how a lonely kid and a disillusioned artist have a nice intergenerational friendship and learn important life lessons from each other.

It never could have been that, if I'm being honest, but it was nice to imagine anyway.

Finally, the creature had enough. It was hurt, angry and wanted Nny to suffer for it. It lunged at him. The chainsaw revved again and Nny stepped in front of me, hauling it into the air. I glanced back over my shoulder and watched him, shouting obscenities at the monster. I don't think I could forgive him for what he had taken from me- some tiny part of my soul that I knew was never getting back. But at that moment, I wanted to at least thank him- the verbal equivalent of a gold "you tried" star. Thanks for being there anyway.

Thanks for trying.

I could do nothing but watch as Nny leapt out of the way of an attack, and drew a knife from within his boot. He spun around, flinging it right into one of the creature's many eyes.

"Zim!" I itched to get back into the fight. "Any luck?"

_This whole segment of code is scrambled! I'm sorting it out now!_

"Good! Hurry! We have to-"

My voice died in my throat.

As the creature screamed, Nny lifted the chainsaw for another blow but didn't see the tentacles that had whipped around behind him. They cracked against his skull, like a baseball slammed by a bat. The chainsaw clattered to the floor, buzzing across the room as Nny crashed into a wall. He slumped forward, unconscious. Dead maybe? I couldn't tell from here.

"Nny" I shouted.

I ran past the monster, dropping next to Nny. Blood pooled on the floor under his head

"Nny! Wake up!"

The monster turned at the sound of my voice and lurched towards me, leaving a trail of black blood like a slug. Nny still didn't move so I slung his arm around my shoulder and tried to lift him, but- though he was thin- he was still a full grown adult and I was a child. He didn't even budge. I had no choice.

I would have to stay here and fight.

Reaching over Nny, I reached into one of his long, black boots and tugged out a knife that he had strapped to his leg. My grip tightened on the hilt as I stood between Nny and the monster.

It rose above me, boiling with anger- eyes bulging, teeth glinting, tentacles writhing. The room darkened as it focused all of it's attention on me. The nightmare was prepared to strike. And this time, I wouldn't wake up.

I readied the knife in my hands. As a tentacle whipped towards me, I raised it above my head but stopped as my back suddenly spasmed. The monster howled in pain.

A PAK leg had speared the tentacle.

**RESIDUE FILTRATION SYSTEM INITIATING…**

I felt the monster's pain but but at the same time, I was aware that my mind was becoming clearer. The creature was still connected to me, of course, but its thoughts and emotions were more like a soft static at the back of my mind. There was another presence there too, haughty and obnoxious as ever, as he settled back into his rightful place.

 _There, it is fixed!_ Zim prickled with gleeful arrogance.  _You are truly pathetic without your MIGHTY enemy, are you not?_

"You're the best." I admitted.

And I meant it too.

 _Eh_? I felt his surprise.  _I-I mean, yes! Of course I am!_

Suppressing a grin, I tugged the one leg free of the tentacle and slowly lifted myself into the air. The movement was wobbly, too much like a baby deer standing for the first time to be threatening, but it still felt powerful. Everything- the fear, the pain, the sadistic joy, the suffering- began to leave like sand escaping through a funnel. For the first time in months, I could pull together a strong sense of self. I was scared and shaking- but I was  _me_.

The nightmare was over.

The creature backed away, swarmed with confusion. Between the filter weakening it and my sudden surge of confidence, it felt  _small_ \- the one thing it had never felt in all of it's existence. It crashed through into wall, retreating back down the hallway it had come from.

We followed it, like a wolf stalking a wounded prey. It didn't take long to catch up to it where it was huddled, writhing, so very close to the wall it had come from. It trembled as I approached it- a tiny and cowering pile of black sludge at my feet.

"I have a very angry alien inside my brain who wants you to die." I said.

The PAK legs silently flexed in agreement, their sharp points glinting in the light.

"I could let him kill you. I  _should_  let him kill you. You caused all of this."

The monster met my eyes and there wasn't any fear or pleading in its expression. Just resignation. It agreed with me, just like I knew it would.

"But if I killed you, that would make me like you." I said, pocketing my hands. "And I'm  _nothing_ like you. Life isn't always fair and people can be cruel, but you know what? I'm not going focus on that. I'm not going to feed off suffering- I'm going to take it and transform it something beautiful, something better!"

The darkness began to fade as the monster- so small and tiny that I could squash it with my shoe- cowered in front of me. How had I ever been afraid of it?

"That's the way this crazy world works. Art comes from pain, peace comes from war and maybe- if we're lucky..." I could almost feel Zim, his red eyes glowing in the darkness. We stood there- side by side- standing between danger and our planet once again. "... a friend can come from an enemy."

The monster- barely a wisp- huddled against the broken, bloody concrete.

"Go back," I pointed at The Wall. "and stay there this time."

There was a long pause and then the creature began to disappear into black dust, swirling away into the void of The Wall like sand blowing in the wind. The rift in The Wall knitted back together and became whole- cold, dark concrete once again. I trembled with relief. It was over. I didn't feel happy or relieved, or even excited.

I was exhausted.

Later, Zim would tell me what happened next: how I fell unconscious just seconds before the police burst through the door and they rushed me to the hospital in a helicopter. Dad left work to come see me and Gaz brought tacos in a paper bag. She and Zim discussed what had happened as they watched the breaking news on the hospital's small television. Nny had been taken into custody, his victims were freed and Tess told everyone that I was a hero…

But I don't remember any of that.

Because I was having the longest, deepest, most  _glorious_  sleep of my entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Epilogue on Friday! We still have one last mystery to solve... ;)


	19. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is it! The last chapter. The nightmares are gone and it's back to the daily routine for Dib! Except, there's one last mystery to solve…
> 
> Before we get into the epilogue though, I just wanted to thank everyone who has been reading and following this! Considering this story was a crossover/horror/mystery (with no romance), I didn't really think I'd have any readers so I was pleasantly surprised to find an amazing group of people on both FF and AO3 reading/reviewing/commenting on this weird little fic every week! You guys are the best and you don't know how much all of your kind words mean to me. Thanks for everything!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim, Squee, JTHM or any related franchises. But I do own a completed fanfic! Yay! :)

* * *

St. Elizabeth's Psychiatric Hospital  
170 Forest Road  
Moose Creek  
Michigan 48001

My dear partner in crime,

I cannot even express how grateful I am that you offered to be my pen pal. Your letter was like an oasis in a desert but, you know, not as sandy or imaginary. Yeah. I'm not quite sure where I was going with that.

Anyway, further letters should be sent to the address on the envelope since it is to be my new residence. You will notice said residence is a maximum security psychiatric hospital rather than a prison cell on death row and trust me, I am as bewildered as you are by this bizarre turn of events. Though I pleaded guilty to my (numerous) crimes, the court psychiatrist deemed me incompetent to stand trial. I told him that I was perfectly sane and that I had been killing people to keep an eldritch abomination sealed behind a wall in my house and for some odd reason, he wouldn't believe me. Weird, right?

This place is... actually alright. When I first heard I was coming here, I was plagued by visions of being bound up in a straight jacket and tossed into a padded cell for the rest of my life. The reality isn't as dramatic- to be honest, it's fairly boring! I do my chores, read books in my cell and suppress the urge to strangle the guard with the lazy eye who always says I've missed a spot after mopping. Sometimes, it's really only my promise to you that keeps me from doing it.

All-in-all, it isn't so bad. The psychiatrist and I have been talking through things and I guess I have a lot of shit to sort through. He gave me some medication and even suggested to the administration that I should be permitted to try art therapy once they're sure I won't stab someone in the eye with a paintbrush. I am... looking forward to that. It would be nice to paint again.

I also had a visitor the other day! Believe me, I was just as shocked as you are. Her name is Devi. She's this girl I really liked (but then tried to kill in one of my less lucid moments, long story). Anyhow, she came to show me this weird painting with a doll stabbed into it. She said the doll had been saying some spooky stuff, so I referred her to a friend of mine who happens to be a very reliable paranormal investigator. You should expect her call within the next couple weeks.

So, that sums up life here. I'm glad to hear Squee is doing well. He's a good kid and I think living with you guys is a positive thing for him. I dare say his  _loving_ parents must have put up a good fight when you suggested it, right? I am not sure if my sarcasm translates well into writing, but for the record: that was sarcastic.

By the way, how is life with that angry space mite living in your brain? I still think he's an arrogant jerk- I hope he read that- but I'm glad he's around for you. Friends are like mirrors: you need them to see who you really are. I wish I had learned that earlier in life, but I do hope it's not too late.

And the blueprints you sent me for your giant Residue Filtration System look great! I can't pretend I understand any of the mathematical equations you're using, but I'm impressed by whole the idea of the thing. If there were just a couple of those installed around the world, there wouldn't be anymore homicidal maniacs! Wouldn't that be neat?

On an unrelated note, I wanted to let you know that in your last letter, after you declared that you had finally gotten to bottom of our little mystery, your words appear to be blurred, incomprehensible gibberish. I assume someone- or something- doesn't want you to share the truth. Ah, well. I don't know what you found out, but I am content in the knowledge that you are aware of it. It's a mad world out there, but it's nice to know there's someone like you is keeping an eye on things.

With fondest regards,

Your friend,  
Nny

**XXX**

"A bit to the left..." I said, though I didn't need to. The metal wires that were connected to the PAK had responded to the command before I even thought it and I shifted to the side. I hung over the worktable, suspended in the air like a demented version of Peter Pan in a low budget skool play. As I observed the prototype from all angles, I strained to hear the humming sound that it was making. "I can't tell what's causing it."

_It could be overheated._  Zim pointed out.  _Turn it off and let's get ready for skool._

"It's not that loud. Do we really need to fix it before testing?"

_Believe me, human. It would drive you crazy if it was making that hideous noise every hour of the day!_

"It can't be as bad as having an insane, paranoid alien in your brain 24/7."

_It's much worse. It's more like living inside the giant head of a whiny, impatient baby mouth! Now do as I tell you and shut it down before it overloads!_

I sighed and lifted the googles. I had only been living with Zim for a week and I was already beginning to learn when I should listen to his advice and when I should ignore it. Life choices? Ignore. Social interactions? Ignore. Advanced alien technology? Definitely listen.

Besides, I didn't want to take the chance of ruining the prototype. It had been carefully constructed from the blueprints of Zim's PAK and, while Irken technology was dependable, it wasn't exactly easy to work with. It would take days to have more parts shipped in if we fried something and I didn't have that kind of time.

Oh, you might be wondering exactly where we got the parts for the prototype in the first place? It wasn't hard.

I just asked The Tallest.

You should have seen their shocked faces- green skin paling, antennae twitching- as I calmly explained to them that I had hacked their Containment Protocol, fused myself to Zim's PAK, and unholy Zimness would soon rain down upon them. However, if they met my demands, Zim promised to remain on Earth and leave them alone- forever. They agreed before I even told them what I wanted. In fact, they declared that Earth was now a protected planet so nothing would provoke Zim into leaving for any reason whatsoever.

After worrying about an impending alien invasion for so long, it was a relief not to have the fate of the entire world on my shoulders. However, I felt Zim's pain too. I imagined it was the way a dog would feel after being ditched at the pound.

"You're always welcome here." I told him.

He said that was stupid- imagine being welcomed as a guest in a place you fully intended to own someday- but I knew he appreciated the sentiment anyway.

I lowered myself to the floor and ripped off the goggles. The heat from the welder had caused sweat to build up on my skin and I ran a hand across my forehead to clear it. Despite being warm, I pulled on my trenchcoat. It covered the PAK nicely, although I doubted anyone would notice I had alien technology embedded in my spine even if I went dancing in the streets naked.

"Do you want to check on Zim Jr. before we go?" I asked.

I could practically hear the sneer in Zim's voice.  _We've discussed this! The clone is called Zim 2.0! And I had Minimoose monitor its vitals this morning._

The clone, which was being grown from a blood sample we had taken from Zim's original body, had been growing steadily in a test tube all week. According to Zim's computer, it would only take two years after "birth" for the smeet to reach maturity, after which it would stop growing. Originally we had planned on waiting for the clone to reach it's full size before porting Zim into his new body, but after only a couple days of sharing a brain, we quickly decided that three months would be fine. This meant Zim would have to spend a while as a baby, but that was a sacrifice we were more than willing to make. I tried to persuade him to go earlier- you know, before the vocal chords developed- but he refused.

Oh, well. At least I would be taller than him.

Since we were finished in the lab, I cleaned off the worktable- Zim had insisted I keep his lab to his standards of cleanliness- and then started towards the elevator. As I ascended into the kitchen, the smell of sizzling bacon wafted down the elevator shaft. Once I had I risen through the toilet, I spotted GIR sucking on a brain freezy while the newly repaired Minimoose monitored a griddle of pancakes on the stove.

"Mornin', Dib!" Squee was setting the table. "Mornin' Zim!"

_Hello, smeet._  Zim answered, almost warmly. Squee always remembered to say hello to both of us separately- a gesture that Zim appreciated. He liked the kid as much as he could like an inferior being; y'know, the way a person might feel about a bug they don't want to squish.

"Zim says hello." I looked over the table. "What is this?"

"I wanted to make you breakfast," he glanced down, suddenly shy. "You know, to thank for letting me stay here."

I blinked in surprise. "You're thanking  _me_? I should be thanking  _you_!" With an alien and a conscious miasma of psychic energy competing for room in my head, Squee's gentle presence was a necessary tether to reality.

"I like it here." Squee shrugged, "It's like a family! A weird family with robots and explosions and stuff."

The heartfelt tone of his words caught me off guard. But before I could say anything, a horn honked somewhere outside.

Squee jumped to his feet. "Pepito's here!"

"The Anti-Christ?"

"Yeah, his dad offered to drive me to skool. They have an inter-dimensional portal car so it won't take too long to get there. I usually smell like burning people for the rest of the day, though..."

"Uh, okay. Just make sure you're home in time for dinner or Gaz will find you..."

He turned at least three shades paler at the thought-a normal reaction to my sister's vengeance.

"I will!" Squee slung his backpack over his shoulder. Then he dashed out the door, with a call of "bye!" over his shoulder.

I watched from the window as he clamored into a white car with horns on the front. It was nice to know after everything he had been through, Squee had come out on the other side just as innocent as ever.

_He's acclimating well to his new environment._

"Yeah, I think he's happy here." I drifted back towards the green and purple living room. "Thanks for letting him stay in the base."

_I didn't have a choice! You released all of my test subjects and I need someone to experiment on..._

"That's not funny."

While he chuckled, I stopped at the rolling blackboard I had ordered- thanks, internet!- and examined the blueprints for the Global Residue Filtration System prototype. As I gazed at the rough pencil lines and scribbled measurements, I imagined what it would look like when it was finished: its curved silver shell glinting in the sunlight, rising above a cityscape like a chrome mountain.

According to Zim's calculations, a prototype of this scale should be able to filter psychic residue from a geographic area of about 300 miles. Like it did for the Irkens so long ago, the filter would remove the psychic pollution directly from the environment instead of dumping it on a minority of unwitting, suffering martyrs. And if we installed them in major locations all over the planet...

The wastelock system would be obsolete.

What would a residue-free world be like for humanity? I wasn't sure. It wouldn't create a utopia, not by any means- but maybe a place where people were just a little friendlier and happier. That was the sort of world I wanted kids like Squee to grow up in.

"Zim?" I asked. "Do you think it will really work?"

_The prototype? Of course it will! It was designed by ZIM!_

"No, not the prototype. The whole plan."

My dream was nice but it had a long and rocky road to reality. There were numerous challenges ahead of us: funding, resources and support being among the chief concerns. Dad had connections with grant committees and politicians- but would he help? He hadn't promised me anything but, considering my recent reputation as a "hero", he at least offered me a meeting and so I had spent the remaining vacation time working long hours into the night, generating pages upon pages of data for the proposal. But what if, after all of this work, Dad still didn't believe me?

_Then he would be a FOOL!_ Zim snapped, before I could even verbalize my thoughts. He had a tendency of doing that now and I wasn't quite sure that I liked it.  _If we took him to the base, surely-_

"No. It might threaten your disguise." I said. Now that I  _wasn't_  trying to expose Zim, I wouldn't be surprised if Dad figured out that he was an alien. I knew enough about irony to tempt fate like that. "We need to win him over with evidence. I just hope what we have is-"

_NONSENSE!_ The confidence in Zim's voice waved away my doubts like annoying flies.  _Do not fill your giant head with inconsequential details!_

"Stop saying my head-"

" _If your father is not impressed, no matter! We have a saying on Irk: 'an invader never fails a mission'. We may fail at a plan. We may have to change strategies. However, we_ _ **never**_   _fail the mission itself. Invaders fight until we succeed- no matter how many setbacks we face._

"Yeah, but  _you're_  an invader, Zim." I pointed out. "Not me. I'm just a kid."

_Just a kid?! Look at yourself!_

With reluctance, I lifted my eyes and looked back at the window. In the reflection of the glass, a kid stared back at me. At least, he looked like a kid in his oversized trench coat and large glasses- but then I saw his eyes. The shadows had disappeared along with the insomnia, but I spotted something different inside them.

A spark of madness- like a crack in a wall.

_Do you see now, my Dib?_ Zim's voice settled beside me, like a hand on my shoulder.  _Chasing dreams is easy when you've already lived a nightmare._

And suddenly, I knew things were going to work out alright.

_Now, set aside this foolishness and let's eat so we can get ready for skool! I have been absent far too long and I am eager to rejoin society!_

And so, I settled down at the table and took a couple of the fluffy, warm pancakes Squee had left out for me. Zim was right- today was our first day back to skool and it was important that we arrived on time.

We still had one loose end to tie up, after all.

**XXX**

"Here." I handed the report to Miss Bitters.

Condensing the past two weeks into a five sheet packet seemed like an impossible task, but somehow we had managed it. After giving her the report, I also explained that Zim and I were now sharing a body and that he shouldn't be counted as absent. She told me that was perfectly normal for group projects and gestured over to Group #3, whose heads had somehow fused together.

"Of course, I'll still be expecting separate assignments from both you." She gave me a piercing look. "And since Zim can't speak for himself in class, you had better work on doing a reasonable imitation of his voice. If you could make it less shriekey and horrible, that would be appreciated."

I said I would try and then, assuming we were finished, I began to walk away.

"Dib." she beckoned me back over with a single flick of one of her long, gnarled fingers. When I returned, she said: "You took on a great burden, but I want you to know that it was the best decision for everyone involved."

At first, I thought she was referring to Zim- since he was  _huge_  burden even when we weren't fused together- but she continued.

"My grandson was so concerned when he found out his little friend had been chosen as a wastelock. And when Pepito is upset, his foolish father doesn't know how to deal with it!" She sighed and shook her head. "As usual, I have to take care of everything."

The realization took a moment to set in.

"You!" I cried, "You're Pepito's grandmother?!"

"Yes, but he would never admit it in public. It's a bit 'uncool' to have your grandmother as a teacher, I've heard. He thought the other kids might tease him about it."

"You're the one that the doughboys were talking about!" The dots were connecting so fast that I felt dizzy watching them. "You assigned the project to me on purpose, didn't you?!"

Miss Bitters interlaced her fingers. "Of course. I knew the answer was to find a better candidate to be the new wastelock. The boy was too young anyway; the creature would've had far more success manipulating him than your homicidal maniac. And if it had succeeded in breaking through to our reality, I believe it would have caused permanent damage to the entire dimension. When I raised this point to my  _other_  son, of course, he refused to get off his couch and deal with it himself! He's been so lazy since he created the universe..."

"Your other son? So you're also..." My voice faltered, "Jesus Christ..."

"Don't get me started on him! At any rate, you were a natural choice. I know because I've had you in every class since you started skool and I pay far more attention than you think I do. Why else would I insist on keeping you and Zim together, despite how disruptive you both are? Would any of the other children take on the monumental task of single-handedly defending the Earth from an alien invader? I doubt it."

My mouth hung open, wobbling uselessly, and I tried to say something but it was like I had forgotten every word in the English language.

"You're annoying, Dib." Her glasses shifted in the light as she stared down at me. "But you're also clever and determined. I knew you would stop at nothing until you solved the mystery and that you would stay true to yourself in the face of extreme adversity. As always, my judgement was correct. You should be proud of yourself."

Then she lifted the packet and flipped through the pages, sniffing something I couldn't smell.

"As for this paper," she continued, "I'm sensing APA citations, even though I specifically asked for MLA. Your grade is a C. Now go to your seat. The bell already rang and I'm not going to wait on you just because you saved the universe."

Shaking, I took a seat at my desk and I just sort of stared at her in a mixture of wonder and horror.

_Useless pig!_ Zim complained and the sudden sound of his voice made me jump.  _You were supposed to get me when class started! My consciousness goes dormant when the PAK is calculating difficult- Dib? Are you alright?_

"You won't believe what I just heard!" I blurted out but before I could even say anything, Miss Bitters turned in my direction.

Behind the glasses, I caught a glimpse of her eyes. They were empty black voids, spanning an eternity far beyond the lifespan of stars. Wrinkles creased around the corners but I realized that they were just for show- they were part of a mask and beyond that mask was a being so ageless, it had witnessed the big bang and called it Yet Another Day.

I knew and she knew that I knew.

A smile tugged at her weathered lips. "Do you have something you would like to share with the class, Dib?"

Silent, for perhaps the first time in my life, I shook my head.

"Very well." said the ancient one.

And class began.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N That's a wrap! Thanks to everyone again for reading and reviewing! :)


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